Smile – Lift the level.
by Ron Hellyer
What a week – teenagers pursuing the Law of Sleep Deprivation and sharing the experience, especially with their parents.
Three nights in a row did I gain but little sleep.
My wife managed slightly more, but the tension in the house was high.. I had work deadlines to meet and had great difficulty concentrating. My physical body required significant oxygen inputs to keep the blood from losing it’s red colour.
q Red was also what my eyes were peering through.
q Red was the colour of the little flag I started to fly.
q Red was the colour of the bills that came in during the same week.
By weeks end I was a snorting bull ready to charge.
I believe this experience is not uncommon to fathers, probably in not the same circumstances, but the resultant is a heaviness of attitude settling in to take over your position as Father of the Family.
In business, particularly, surveys of consumers are conducted regularly to ascertain their status - happy ,agreeable, meeting expectations, satisfied, suggestions for improvement.
Should a Father in a family be subject to such scrutiny – Yes!.
In deciding to do a reality check we cause this heaviness to shift – why?
Because we focus on our families needs.
Yes, we may have been wronged, used, lied to, taken for granted – but we have been there and our children have not.
As fathers we have an enormous influence and effect on our families. Our word can lift up or pull down, our actions can be constructive or destructive.
We can not have a great relationship with our wives and not haven one with our kids-it will not work.
The famous phrase “United we stand – divided we fall is a constant that we as fathers should uphold.
It is a biblical principle found in Luke 11:17.
'Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. '
No family, no business, no Government can survive if it is divided amongst itself.
We need to:
- balance the pressures that we are under by telling our wives how we feel, if you can’t, tell a friend (male) and get it off your chest. Men tend to internalise.
- ask our children what they think and feel ( newsletter 12-18/11/02)
It is not a fathers position to be right all the time - it is his position to accept that he is the binding element in a family; he is the head of the household.
This is an awesome responsibility in a world that is forever changed.
Our families' notice what we do and say every day. Even with all the circumstances around us a smile to them signifies you are still there no matter what.
Only recently my wife said to me when I was struggling with big issues – just give me a smile that’s all I want.
A smile demonstrates that regardless of circumstances you connect with your family.
Get your family smiling – it starts with fathers.
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Ron Hellyer has been married to Margaret for 23 years and is the father of five children (plus extras). Ron is management consultant based in Broken Hill , Outback NSW.
