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Please click here Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick I believe the Chuck Colson article 'Creating Men' reprinted below will encourage you as a father. As a man, you are unique and your maleness is a gift, not a liability, although many in our society would have you believe otherwise. I rarely reprint an article in this column in it's entirety but Chuck Colson is a rare man indeed. In 1974 he entered prison as a result of the fall-out from the Nixon Watergate Affair and on his release two years later established Prison Fellowship Ministries International, which today has 50,000 prison ministry volunteers in 88 nations. Chuck Colson is no ordinary man as you will find out as you read his article below subtitled 'the hard facts about gender'. Mar 28, 2006 by Chuck Colson Periodically, our culture re-discovers that the male of the species also has problems and needs. For example, a recent Newsweek cover story was about 'the trouble with boys.' But no one has gone as far to understand the needs and feelings of men as Norah Vincent. Vincent's new book, Self-Made Man, is about her search for what she calls the 'unspoken codes of male experience.' Specifically, she wanted to know how men spoke and acted when women were not around. So, she lifted weights; took voice lessons; got a flat-top haircut; and learned to apply fake stubble to her face. The result of this preparation was a male alter ego called 'Ned.' For the next eighteen months, Norah passed herself off as Ned. She joined a men's bowling league and played on a team whose other members included a construction worker, a repairman, and a plumber. She attended 'men's movement' retreats, where she beat on drums and did tribal dances, and spent time at a monastery. And of course, she explored what passes for male sexuality in contemporary culture. She went to strip clubs with the 'other guys.' And she went on 'dates' with women. The experience took its toll on Vincent: She eventually had a psychological breakdown that required hospitalization. But she came away with an increased appreciation of, and even sympathy toward, men. Some of her 'discoveries' were unintentionally hilarious, like her realization that her bowling buddies weren't sexist bigots - they were generous men who adored their wives and daughters. On a more substantive note, Vincent, who is a lesbian, calls the expectations placed on men by women 'maddening.' Men carry an unspoken 'presumption of guilt' in the eyes of many women. Even if they overcome this presumption of guilt, they still have to deal with what Vincent calls the 'warrior/minstrel complex' - the idea that they are to be rugged as a Viking raider and as sensitive as a medieval troubadour. In the end, Vincent sees men as 'victims of the patriarchy' who are being poisoned by the 'toxicity of gender roles.' And she's left rephrasing Professor Higgins's question in My Fair Lady' Why can't a man be more like a woman'? which is, of course, the ultimate goal of gender-blurring. The answer is that the differences between men and women transcend psychology and gender roles. While Vincent's efforts taught what it's like to be treated as a man, she's still has no idea what it's like to be a man. For instance, her experiences gave her a new appreciation for fatherhood. What they couldn't do was make her a father. All her preparation left her clueless about the most important part of what it means to be a man. To her credit, Vincent senses that there's something missing from her account. She wonders if there's a 'pre-programmed and possibly inescapable grammar of gender burned on our brains.' Well, yes. What Vincent calls an 'inescapable grammar' is what Christians call 'male and female created He them.' Since our denial of this 'grammar' lies behind many of the problems that Vincent documents, the solution begins with something more profound than makeup and a haircut: It's understanding that, ultimately, men are created, not made. Source http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/chuckcolson/2006/03/28/191642.ht ml Lovework Celebrate your manhood with your children. Our sons and daughters need to know what being a man really is, and the only way they are going to find this out is from you. Yours for celebrating manhood Warwick Marsh PS The recent Senate vote to reject Senator Steve Fielding's amendments and confirm the current flawed family law reform was passed at midnight on 30th March 2006 (see 'Single Dads' and news section for further details). Earlier in the week I met with the Attorney General, Phillip Ruddock, and he again refused to listen to pleas for common sense family reform. It would seem that the cause for justice for our children will have to go to a new level. We greatly appreciate your support and the many groups that united to form a voice for our children in the halls of power. Keep up the great work - regards Warwick Marsh. ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads The man who wins may have been counted out several times but he didn't hear the referee. H.E. Jansen back to top Laughter Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and as he did so, he saw a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and asked, "Do you go to church every week?" "Yes." she replied. "Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered, "Yes." "Do you know the Ten Commandments?" "Yes, I do." she answered, with a smile. "Do you keep them all?" Johnny asked. She nodded her head, "Yes, I do." she said. With that he asked his final question, "Will you hold my dollar while I go swimming?" back to top Single Dads Parents groups outraged The feeble Family Law Act 2005 will fail children The feeble Family Law (Shared Responsibility) Act, 2005 which was passed last week by the senate will fail children. This flawed legislation fails to protect children from being the pawns in family break-ups. This is a victory for the lawyers and others who profit from family break-up! This new act does nothing but move the deckchairs on the sinking Titanic. It still leaves far too wide discretion for the lawyers and judges and does little to replace the 'winner-takes-all' culture of the Family Court. The government squashed Family First's amendments that would have fixed this feeble legislation! Years of work has gone into this legislation and parenting groups are outraged that nothing has been fixed! Both parents are equally important for a child's development. Children who miss out on either of their parents suffer. This legislation fails since it does not require the Court to maximise the time children can spend with both their natural parents (in the absence of abuse). We are considering demanding a referendum on the issue. In Massachusetts the US referenda have won a resounding 85% of votes in favour of a strongly worded presumption of equal time after divorce. In Australia, various polls hosted by major media outlets have weighed-in with around a 90% of Australians supporting it, even Barnaby Joyce's web poll . http://www.barnabyjoyce.com.au/parenting_poll.asp is running at 85%. Children need both parents! Profiteers of pain This government has handed out over half a billion dollars in extra bribes to anti-father groups to get this feeble legislation through, yet will do nothing to stop children being taken away from one of their parents. * $400 million to implement relationship centres (Relationships Australian and other 'counselling' groups explicitly oppose a presumption of equal time) * $73 million to the 'Domestic Violence against women, Australia says no' and other domestic and family violence and sexual assault work funded by the Commonwealth (Domestic violence is abhorrent, but this silences victims of women's violence) * Huge DV study to AIFS Half a billion dollars in ADDITIONAL funding. Dads only get about $150K (to Dads in Distress and Lone Fathers). $150K total, not extra! Do the maths-for every dollar for dads, they get around $4,000. Sounds fair? Struggling Single Parents 'Sharing is good,' James Adams, a spokesman for Fathers4Equality says. 'Single-parent households suffer from all kinds of social, emotional and economic hardship. Too often they can't hold everything together. Tragically, that's when children suffer.' 'The present law forces mothers to be 'single mums' and forces loving dads out of their children's lives and onto the scrap-heap. 'The Family Court's bias forces children to live in single parent households. This is based on discredited theories from the 1970's as the basis for deciding what is best for children,' he says. 'This results in a one-size fits all solution, where the kids lose a parent. This failed approach needs to be overturned!' 'The research is overwhelming. Study after study shows that children in shared care, who have both their natural parents do better at school, have fewer behavioural problems, are less likely to take drugs or get pregnant as teenagers. Children need both natural parents!' 'The livelihoods of many lawyers, CSA workers and others depend on all the pain and conflict caused by taking kids away from their fathers. The new act leaves the profiteers making decisions about our children. It's like putting Dracula in charge of the Blood Bank. They didn?t want anything changed. And sadly, nothing has changed!' Resources Australians overwhelmingly support a presumption of Shared Residence. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/pages/publicopinion The issues paper, titled "Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not" is available from this link http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf/$FILE/ParentsAreForever_200 6_March.pdf The 'Annotated Research Bibliography' that proves that the best parent for children is both parents is available here:-. (80 pages, it will take a minute to download) http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equalit y.nsf/files/ResearchforSharedResidence.doc/$FILE/ResearchforSharedReside nce.doc Media contacts: James Adams j.adams@pobox.com mob: 0417 258 364 anytime. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org back to top All you need is Love All You Need is Love By Steve de Keijzer I am writing to you so that I can share some of my experiences and hopefully help some other people to overcome their past and move on. I am the eldest of 4 children and I have a brother and two sisters. from when I was very young I was aware that I was different to my siblings. They could do things that I could never attempt because of the repercussions. I was treated differently. I won't go into the litany of evils that were thrust upon me because that is not what this is about. My mother had reached the end of her tether with me when I was 17 and I was kicked out of home, consequently I was never referred to or spoken about following my departure. In my experience I struggled to come to grips with the mentality that a mother would treat one of her own children so differently and despicably from my siblings. How could this be so? This then led me to thinking of what I could do for my children. In this intervening time I was fortunate enough to meet my current wife. She is a person of uncommon wisdom and determination. It is due to her input that I am aware of who I am and what I can change. I have also the Good Lord to thank for my care and keeping in past days. Just prior to our marriage (the one that my father-in-law predicted would last 5 years - we are coming up 16 years) my wife and I made a pact that we would not treat our children the way we were treated. If this started to happen then one would pull the other up and explain it to them, not nastily or use it as a weapon, just explain it. I was horrified to learn that changing behaviour is a painful and long process and self awareness is a huge part of this process. To find myself reacting to situations the same way that my mother reacted and to treat my kids the way that I was treated is really scary. However over time I have (with the help of my wife) managed to change my behaviour and treat my children differently. This then brings me to the next point. I love my wife and that is the foundation of our marriage. I want to be with her and she with me. We are in love and I have to say that she is more my sweetheart today than she was the day I married her. To have achieved this level of self awareness and behaviour change would have been a whole lot harder without her loving input. I have tried to treat my wife the way I would like to be treated and love her the way I would like to be loved. So how do I treat my parents? Unfortunately I have to keep them at a distance, too close and all the hurt comes back and haunts me. Can I forgive them? Most of the time. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I regress to old ways of thinking. Is this easy? No!!! One other thing that I find hard is that my brother and sisters have little concept of what I went through and as a result I often feel isolated by their apparent inability to comprehend my point of view. To them life was good and I was the bad egg so I needed to be punished. Now that I am in my thirties I have matured a little and can think more kindly on my parents. My little pieces of advice from my own experience are: * look at yourself honestly but not critically and make changes to what needs changing and keep that which needs keeping * forgive yourself * treat your wife as a queen, love her as you want to be loved * invest time and effort in your children, because your power as a parent is immense * do not let the past dictate the future * find faith and keep it I hope that this helps. It is a snapshot of where I was and where I am. Steve de Keijzer has been married for nearly 16 years and has three children. The eldest and youngest are girls aged 14 and 8 and a boy aged 11 in the middle. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Michael Kiely's book 'Man Overboard' is still available and will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. To get your free copy simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge. back to top Thought of the Week Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. Tagore back to top Special Feature What Great Deeds We Can Do When We Love Part 1 Andrew Bolt, Herald Sun, 10 March 2006 A mother-to-be was advised by her doctor to "terminate that fetus". She refused and later gave birth to "a perfect little boy". TWO brave women reminded me this week of what we lose in this terrible cult of the perfect child. Brave-Loving is the better word. For what great deeds we can do when we love. A Melbourne woman, let's call her Mary, this week wrote to me after reading in my book of the abortion of a girl just two months from birth. The girl had been diagnosed 'it seems perhaps wrongly' with dwarfism. Something about that case reminded Mary of her own pregnancy. For legal reasons I won't say just what, or give her real name or that of the doctor involved. Mary writes that in 1994 she fell pregnant, and was so sick that she had an ultrasound at 10 weeks to find out what was wrong. It was only then she learned she was carrying twins. But the second baby was very small. "This meant the baby was likely to have gross abnormalities because although it's normal for twins to differ in size late in pregnancy and after birth, in early pregnancy they should be exactly the same size to be normal. "The doctor immediately recommended that I should `terminate that fetus'. " `You mean kill the baby?' I replied, at which he got a bit upset with me and asked me not to use such language!" The doctor preferred the term "selective reduction". As Mary learned: "One or more babies in the womb are injected in the head with saline, which kills them, and they are then left dead in the womb until the healthy baby or babies are delivered. "This is sometimes done because of abnormalities, but is also routinely done for mothers who simply don't want twins, triplets or quads. "How parents of healthy babies choose which will live and which will die, and how a mother lies on a table while a saline needle is inserted in her stomach to kill one of her babies is beyond me, but apparently this is normal. "My main memory of all of this is the doctor's incredible nonchalance. "He was not only blase about what he proposed to do, he was even eager to do it ? and he was quite forthright about his belief that any baby with even a suspicion of abnormality, or indeed any baby the parents simply did not want, should be dispatched forthwith. "He was keen to perform this procedure on me as soon as possible, without any further testing of any kind. "I even remember him reminding me that I was not being fair to my other larger twin if I did not allow him to kill the smaller one. This was because I was already at risk of premature birth." Mary says she's sure the doctor thought he was being professional and he was right to tell her her options. "I'm university educated and am a pretty strong woman with a good marriage - so together, my husband and I found the strength (although it wasn't easy at the time in an emotional state) to resist the doctor's recommendations and stall for time... "How do single women, or women intimidated by the medical profession, or emotionally fragile women, or women with poor family support resist the eagerness that some in the medical profession have to solve what they simply see as a `problem'?" Mary and her husband, after much agonising, agreed to an amniocentesis test to check that the smaller twin really was deformed. "I still remember lying on the table waiting to have this test, arguing with the doctor as he stood over me, huge needle in hand, as he tried to convince me to have the amnio test done on both babies rather than just one - `because you may as well now that you're here'. "This from a man who knew that the risk of miscarriage after an amniocentesis is about 1 per cent for a single pregnancy and up to 5 per cent for twins. He still wanted to double the risk - to ensure that we didn't bring any handicapped babies into the world. "We managed to resist this pressure and only had the amnio on the smaller baby, although I will regret until the day I die even agreeing to this, as I nearly miscarried the following day." MARY concludes: "I have a result sheet issued by the doctor from my 10-week ultrasound on which are written the words, `fetus 2 not viable'. "I like to compare this document with the child it refers to - now an 11-year-old, funny, sensitive, gifted, football-playing, blues-guitar-addicted, satin-skinned and perfect little boy, our son." She has sent me a photo of him in Port Douglas kissing a cane toad held by his grinning brother. "It turned out that the only explanation there was for the boys' different sizes early in pregnancy was that they must have been conceived a week or two apart . . . "I was not told that this could be a possible explanation until well after I was meant to have made a decision to inject my son Paul in the head with saline." How many other women have been told 'wrongly' they were carrying a damaged baby and have given in to urgings to have their healthy child killed? This and other troubling aspects of our cult of the perfect baby are discussed in an intensely moving new book by Canberra writer Melinda Tankard Reist. In Defiant Birth she presents the stories of women who refused to kill the babies in their womb they were warned were damaged, and gave birth months later to children of love. http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,18415068%255E2 5717,00.html back to top News & Info MEDIA RELEASE Flawed Family Law Reform Passed by Senate At midnight on 30th March 2006 the fatally flawed family law reform was passed by the Senate. Warwick Marsh, founder of the Fatherhood Foundation said, "Whilst the reform bill is a step in the right direction, and contains some good ideas, the fundamental problem has not been fixed. The problem is the gender bias against the male of the species that is embedded in the culture of the Family Law Court and its many agencies. This gender bias is expressed in the many submissions that have been put in by these government agencies and counselling services against the 'rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time' as a starting point in family law reform." "The current one-size fits all policy of sole custody will continue to predominate and children will continue to be robbed of one of their parents in over 95% of cases. Ninety percent of the time, this will be the father. Children need mother and a father for their proper development. Mothers and fathers contribute uniquely and importantly to a child's development. What part of the word equality does the Family Law Court establishment and the government not understand?" Mr Marsh continued, "The fathers, mothers and children of Australia would like to salute Senator Steve Fielding of the Family First Party for bringing forward some common sense amendments that would have fixed the Family law Reform Bill and ensure that the Family Law Court would grant justice to our children and equality to mothers and fathers. Unfortunately these family friendly common sense amendments have been rejected by the government and the senate. All the indications point to the fact that the current family law reform, in the words of Waheed Ali, a family law court judge's associate, will continue to be more of a 'mirage' than a breakthrough. Children need equal access to both their mother and father. The children of Australia need justice, not more broken promises. How much longer must our children wait?" For further comment: Warwick Marsh 0418 225 212 02 4272 6677 Fatherhood Foundation info@fathersonline.org www.fathersonline.org * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Father Should Have Equal Right The Australian Christian Lobby released a media statement calling on the federal government to give father equal rights when a marriage break down. Posted: Monday, March 27 , 2006, 6:17 (EST) On the 27th March 2006, as federal parliament prepared to debate the Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill, the executive chairman of the Australian Christian Lobby, Jim Wallace had called on the government to recognise the equal role a father plays when the marriage dissolve. The Family Law Amendment, in what federal Attorney General Phillip Ruddock hailed as one of the most significant reform in the past 30 years, stated the bill would reflect the right of children growing up with the love and support of both parents. However Mr. Wallace disagreed, saying the bill failed to recognise the role of father as having the natural and equal right to take care of his children when a relationship fail. He said: 'This Bill failed to recognise what was natural and right, that fathers are equally parents and that while relationships might fail, parenting was forever.' One of the major changes, which the government had adopted, was to insert a presumption or starting point of equal shared parental responsibility. This meant both parents had an equal role in making decisions about major long term issues involving their children such as choosing school. Mr. Wallace believed this does not go far enough and believed that father should have equal responsibility and access to kids. This should be the premise of custody negotiation. He said: 'Failure to begin custody negotiations from the premise that both parents might equally love their child was ridiculous. There was no argument with the fact that this principle should be rebuttable. However unless good reasons to reduce time for one or other of the parents could be established, surely commonsense said the law should be required to give each not only equal responsibility for the child, but equal access.' Mr. Wallace warned failure to pass his propose amendment would entrenched the 'anti-male character in the Australian family system' and Australia would be out of sync with other countries who already acknowledged the natural right of fathers. He said: 'To allow this legislation to pass unamended was to further entrench the strongly feminist, even anti-male character of our family law system. Our family law system reflected more ideology than compassion, and it was a shortcoming being progressively recognised in the rest of the world, with many jurisdictions having already amended similar legislation to acknowledge the natural and reasonable rights of fathers and children.' Sze Leng Chan szeleng@christiantoday.com.au www.christiantoday.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Hands off Marriage Australian Family Association backs PM's move to ban s-s civil unions The Australian Family Association today congratulated Prime Minister John Howard for his commitment to marriage. National Vice President of the Australian Family Association, Mary-Louise Fowler, today said that 'The ACT's proposed legislation for same-sex civil unions are designed to give same-sex unions the same status as marriage. The clear intention of the ACT proposal is to undermine the institution of marriage. This is unacceptable and we are grateful that Mr Howard has indicated that he is prepared to overrule any such laws passed.' The Australian Family Association believes that tampering with the traditional understanding of marriage is a grave error that would empty marriage of any meaning. 'Studies show that children and spouses in strong marriages are the ones who do best on all scores - socially, economically, emotionally and so on. Why on earth would we want to jeopardize marriage and the benefits its brings to families by blurring its meaning'? Mrs Fowler said. The Australian Family Association has a long track record of defending marriage. It was an important player in gaining the amendment to the Marriage Act which in 2004 defined marriage as being a union between a man and a woman. 'If necessary the Australian Family Association will fight again to defend marriage.' said Mrs Fowler. Contact: Mary-Louise Fowler 02 6383 4242 or Angela Conway 0438 618 840 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Pro-Lifers Cite Need to Pull RU 486 From Market - Review Drug's Approval Process By Mary Rettig and Bill Fancher AgapePress March 27, 2006 (AgapePress) -- The associate executive director of a Christian medical association says it's saddening that two more women have died apparently as a result of using the abortion drug RU 486. He says more w omen should not have to die to prove it is a dangerous drug. Meanwhile, a national pro-life group believes the White House and the FDA should be held accountable for the two deaths. Dr. Gene Rudd with the Christian Medical & Dental Associations says the fact that these two women died is made even more sad because the deaths were not only predictable, but also avoidable. He says there were other deaths linked to RU 486 in California last year that were caused by a common bacteria. "Now there's no reason to believe that this should be geographically confined to California," says Rudd, adding that there is good evidence supporting the argument that there likely is a serious under-reporting problem of complications stemming from the drug's use. "Reporting of drug complications in this country is not terrible, but it's not excellent either," he asserts. "Then you add to that the ... abortion industry, which has reason to want to keep this a secret, and we result in having a lot of these cases going unreported." Rudd says members of the CMDA say they have seen these cases of complications in women using RU 486, but that they have no idea of knowing whether they get reported to the Food and Drug Administration. He asserts that the public only hears about the deaths from the drug -- but all the other complications from using RU 486 are either hidden or not reported at all. Those complications have convinced Rudd that the most recent report of two women dying from infections after using the controversial abortion drug is proof that more should have been done by the FDA to test the drug. "The safety studies that were done to approve this were not adequate," the CMDA spokesman claims. "They weren't done adequately on young women, they weren't done in a good controlled design study to start with. So we asked the government to take the drug off the market." According to Rudd, the federal government is still considering his group's petition. "But now with these deaths occurring and with the lack of adequate safety studies to start with, there's just all the good reasons in the world to take this drug off the market," he states. Planned Parenthood reports that more than half a million women have used RU 486, but Rudd says that is only the denominator of the equation. He says the public would likely be shocked by the true, harmful impact of the abortion drug. ALL: FDA Needs to Be Held Accountable! Judie Brown is shocked -- because nothing is being done. In fact, the long-time defender of the unborn says she is livid at the inaction of the Bush administration and the FDA after the two latest deaths attributed to RU 486. The American Life League president says the fact that seven deaths were caused by the drug apparently has not gotten through to lawmakers in the nation's capital about the danger posed by the drug. "So far we have not heard one word from the White House," Brown shares. "We haven't heard one word from a member of Congress -- and I think it's totally disgusting." Brown has a suggestion. "I think the Food and Drug Administration will get the message when the President of the United States decides that his war on terror has to start right here at home, and he calls the [FDA] to account for the deaths of these women," she says. The ALL spokeswoman also suggests that opponents of abortion work together and let their voices be heard on Capitol Hill. "We have to join together and pressure the White House to call the Food and Drug Administration to account for their irresponsible behavior, not only with RU 486 but with all these chemicals that kill babies and obviously kill mothers," she states. Another pro-life group, National Right to Life, claims there have been more than 800 confirmed injuries and complications associated with the taking of RU 486. Brown says she would like to see Congress call for an investigation into the approval process of the abortion drug. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You may be interested in a video blog by Senator Steve Fielding, expressing his disappointment he was not able to move the amendments, which you can find here: http://www.stevefielding.com.au/html/videos/310306backonmyfeet.html * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation This is just a short note of appreciation for the good work you're doing for families. People like yourself, Senators Fielding and Joyce, and your wives, are the salt of the earth. Regards Ian Windsor * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation I regularly receive information about how I can make a difference in this messed up place, and as of yesterday I thought I'd empower some others to be informed too. That is why I put my "Christian Advocates" list together. If you also become aware of information you think others would like to act on, please let me know. I feel during these last years that things are finally get bad enough that the Christian church is waking up to its role in being a light of truth, and salt that preserves. I too am waking up, and recognising the multitude of opportunities and responsibilities that avail themselves to me everyday. If you wish to join me and others in this pursuit, please send me your name and email address and be assured that these opportunities will continue to come. Kevin Sargeant kevinsargeant@yahoo.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation As I read your latest newsletter I feel disappointed that the Liberal Government does not seem to be listening to your voice. One new MP David Fawcett, Wakefield used to run courses for Focus on the Family. I know him from the Baptist Church we attended, plus I lost pre-selection against him, which I didn't mind, assuming he would fly the same flag in Canberra. I can't recall you ever having mentioned any of his ideas in your newsletter. Reading about the inequality after a separation, I had another thought. Would it not be fair, if the payments men had to make toward their children, were based on the time they are allowed to spend with them? As with abortion - a father is given no say whatsoever about terminating his seed, but when it comes to responsibility - he is soon reminded that he was the one that started it all. It looks like we have a long way to go to put men back into the position God intended them to be. Kind regards Dieter Fischer, Adelaide www.dieterfischer.com driva@kern.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation & the Australian fatherhood movement Congratulations on the outstanding Empowerment, Mobilization & Sharing Work being done through Team Work Unity. We fully support all these constructive and positive endeavours on Family Law Reform to benefit our precious Children. Great news about Senator Steven Fielding's commitment to the Family Law Reform Justice Rights. He sent us his News Release. Certainly is worthwhile initiative by him as a Family First Senator. We will keep up the networking intensity and momentum, including mass media outreach, till the Senate vote happens later this coming week. Best wishes, in co-operation and creativity. Michael A Riddell back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Why does injustice prevail? Why does evil prosper? Why do good men do nothing? Maybe the answer can be found in Bob Dylan's song: "How many roads must a man walk down Before you can call him a man? . . . . . the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind." Maybe Bob Dylan is right. Men have to take responsibility for the road they travel And learn to take the right paths Through the power of the wind of your spirit - Because only you have the words of life. back to top About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_B120_01C65638.DAA98D60 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

I believe the Chuck Colson article 'Creating Men' reprinted below will encourage you as a father.  As a man, you are unique and your maleness is a gift, not a liability, although many in our society would have you believe otherwise.

 

I rarely reprint an article in this column in it's entirety but Chuck Colson is a rare man indeed.  In 1974 he entered prison as a result of the fall-out from the Nixon Watergate Affair and on his release two years later established Prison Fellowship Ministries International, which today has 50,000 prison ministry volunteers in 88 nations.  Chuck Colson is no ordinary man as you will find out as you read his article below subtitled 'the hard facts about gender'.

 

Mar 28, 2006

by Chuck Colson

 

Periodically, our culture re-discovers that the male of the species also has problems and needs. For example, a recent Newsweek cover story was about 'the trouble with boys.'

But no one has gone as far to understand the needs and feelings of men as Norah Vincent.

Vincent's new book, Self-Made Man, is about her search for what she calls the 'unspoken codes of male experience.' Specifically, she wanted to know how men spoke and acted when women were not around.

 

So, she lifted weights; took voice lessons; got a flat-top haircut; and learned to apply fake stubble to her face. The result of this preparation was a male alter ego called 'Ned.'

 

For the next eighteen months, Norah passed herself off as Ned. She joined a men's bowling league and played on a team whose other members included a construction worker, a repairman, and a plumber. She attended 'men's movement' retreats, where she beat on drums and did tribal dances, and spent time at a monastery.

 

And of course, she explored what passes for male sexuality in contemporary culture. She went to strip clubs with the 'other guys.' And she went on 'dates' with women.

 

The experience took its toll on Vincent: She eventually had a psychological breakdown that required hospitalization. But she came away with an increased appreciation of, and even sympathy toward, men. Some of her 'discoveries' were unintentionally hilarious, like her realization that her bowling buddies weren't sexist bigots - they were generous men who adored their wives and daughters.

 

On a more substantive note, Vincent, who is a lesbian, calls the expectations placed on men by women 'maddening.' Men carry an unspoken 'presumption of guilt' in the eyes of many women. Even if they overcome this presumption of guilt, they still have to deal with what Vincent calls the 'warrior/minstrel complex' - the idea that they are to be rugged as a Viking raider and as sensitive as a medieval troubadour.

 

In the end, Vincent sees men as 'victims of the patriarchy' who are being poisoned by the 'toxicity of gender roles.' And she's left rephrasing Professor Higgins's question in My Fair Lady' Why can't a man be more like a woman'? which is, of course, the ultimate goal of gender-blurring.

 

The answer is that the differences between men and women transcend psychology and gender roles. While Vincent's efforts taught what it's like to be treated as a man, she's still has no idea what it's like to be a man.

 

For instance, her experiences gave her a new appreciation for fatherhood. What they couldn't do was make her a father. All her preparation left her clueless about the most important part of what it means to be a man.

 

To her credit, Vincent senses that there's something missing from her account. She wonders if there's a 'pre-programmed and possibly inescapable grammar of gender burned on our brains.'

 

Well, yes. What Vincent calls an 'inescapable grammar' is what Christians call 'male and female created He them.' Since our denial of this 'grammar' lies behind many of the problems that Vincent documents, the solution begins with something more profound than makeup and a haircut: It's understanding that, ultimately, men are created, not made.

 

Source http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/chuckcolson/2006/03/28/191642.html

 

Lovework

 

Celebrate your manhood with your children.  Our sons and daughters need to know what being a man really is, and the only way they are going to find this out is from you.

 

Yours for celebrating manhood

Warwick Marsh

 

PS The recent Senate vote to reject Senator Steve Fielding's amendments and confirm the current flawed family law reform was passed at midnight on 30th March 2006 (see 'Single Dads' and news section for further details).  Earlier in the week I met with the Attorney General, Phillip Ruddock, and he again refused to listen to pleas for common sense family reform.  It would seem that the cause for justice for our children will have to go to a new level.  We greatly appreciate your support and the many groups that united to form a voice for our children in the halls of power.  Keep up the great work - regards Warwick Marsh.

 

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

The man who wins

may have been counted out several times

but he didn't hear the referee.

 

H.E. Jansen

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Laughter

Little Johnny was walking down the beach, and as he did so, he saw a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand.

He walked up to her and asked, "Do you go to church every week?"

"Yes." she replied.

"Do you pray often?" the boy asked next, and again she answered, "Yes."


"Do you know the Ten Commandments?"

"Yes, I do." she answered, with a smile.

"Do you keep them all?" Johnny asked.

She nodded her head, "Yes, I do." she said.

With that he asked his final question, "Will you hold my dollar while I go swimming?"

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Single Dads

 

Parents groups outraged

The feeble Family Law Act 2005 will fail children

 

The feeble Family Law (Shared Responsibility) Act, 2005 which was passed last week by the senate will fail children. This flawed legislation fails to protect children from being the pawns in family break-ups.

 

This is a victory for the lawyers and others who profit from family break-up!

This new act does nothing but move the deckchairs on the sinking Titanic. It still leaves far too wide discretion for the lawyers and judges and does little to replace the 'winner-takes-all' culture of the Family Court. The government squashed Family First's amendments that would have fixed this feeble legislation!

 

Years of work has gone into this legislation and parenting groups are outraged that nothing has been fixed!

 

Both parents are equally important for a child's development. Children who miss out on either of  their parents suffer.  This legislation fails since it does not require the Court to maximise the time children can spend with both their natural parents (in the absence of abuse).

 

We are considering demanding a referendum on the issue. In Massachusetts the US referenda have won a resounding 85% of votes in favour of a strongly worded presumption of equal time after divorce. In Australia, various polls hosted by major media outlets have weighed-in with around a 90% of Australians supporting it, even Barnaby Joyce's web poll  . http://www.barnabyjoyce.com.au/parenting_poll.asp  is running at 85%. Children need both parents!

 

Profiteers of pain

This government has handed out over half a billion dollars in extra bribes to anti-father groups to get this feeble legislation through, yet will do nothing to stop children being taken away from one of their parents.

*  $400 million to implement relationship centres (Relationships Australian and other 'counselling' groups explicitly oppose a presumption of equal time)

*  $73 million to the 'Domestic Violence against women, Australia says no' and other domestic and family violence and sexual assault work funded by the Commonwealth (Domestic violence is abhorrent, but this silences victims of women's violence)

*  Huge DV study to AIFS

 

Half a billion dollars in ADDITIONAL funding. Dads only get about $150K (to Dads in Distress and Lone Fathers). $150K total, not extra!  Do the maths-for every dollar for dads, they get around $4,000. Sounds fair?

 

Struggling Single Parents

'Sharing is good,' James Adams, a spokesman for Fathers4Equality says. 'Single-parent households suffer from all kinds of social, emotional and economic hardship. Too often they can't hold everything together. Tragically, that's when children suffer.' 'The present law forces mothers to be 'single mums' and forces loving dads out of their children's lives and onto the scrap-heap.

'The Family Court's bias forces children to live in single parent households. This is based  on discredited theories from the 1970's as the basis for deciding what is best for children,' he says. 'This results in a one-size fits all solution, where the kids lose a parent. This failed approach needs to be overturned!'

 'The research is overwhelming. Study after study shows that children in shared care, who have both their natural parents do better at school, have fewer behavioural problems, are less likely to take drugs or get pregnant as teenagers. Children need both natural parents!'

 'The livelihoods of many lawyers, CSA workers and others depend on all the pain and conflict caused by taking kids away from their fathers. The new act leaves the profiteers making decisions about our children. It's like putting Dracula in charge of the Blood Bank. They didn?t want anything changed. And sadly, nothing has changed!'

Resources

Australians overwhelmingly support a presumption of Shared Residence. http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/pages/publicopinion

The issues paper, titled "Parents are Forever...even if Marriages are not" is available from this link http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf/$FILE/ParentsAreForever_2006_March.pdf  

The 'Annotated Research Bibliography' that proves that the best parent for children is both parents is available here:-. (80 pages, it will take a minute to download) http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org/equalparenting/fathers4equality.nsf/files/ResearchforSharedResidence.doc/$FILE/ResearchforSharedResidence.doc

Media contacts:

James Adams    j.adams@pobox.com  mob: 0417 258 364 anytime.

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org

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All you need is Love

 

All You Need is Love

By Steve de Keijzer

 

I am writing to you so that I can share some of my experiences and hopefully help some other people to overcome their past and move on.

 

I am the eldest of 4 children and I have a brother and two sisters.  from when I was very young I was aware that I was different to my siblings.  They could do things that I could never attempt because of the repercussions.  I was treated differently.  I won't go into the litany of evils that were thrust upon me because that is not what this is about.  My mother had reached the end of her tether with me when I was 17 and I was kicked out of home, consequently I was never referred to or spoken about following my departure. 

 

In my experience I struggled to come to grips with the mentality that a mother would treat one of her own children so differently and despicably from my siblings.  How could this be so?  This then led me to thinking of what I could do for my children.  In this intervening time I was fortunate enough to meet my current wife.  She is a person of uncommon wisdom and determination.  It is due to her input that I am aware of who I am and what I can change.  I have also the Good Lord to thank for my care and keeping in past days. 

 

Just prior to our marriage (the one that my father-in-law predicted would last 5 years - we are coming up 16 years) my wife and I made a pact that we would not treat our children the way we were treated.  If this started to happen then one would pull the other up and explain it to them, not nastily or use it as a weapon, just explain it.  I was horrified to learn that changing behaviour is a painful and long process and self awareness is a huge part of this process.  To find myself reacting to situations the same way that my mother reacted and to treat my kids the way that I was treated is really scary.  However over time I have (with the help of my wife) managed to change my behaviour and treat my children differently.

 

This then brings me to the next point.  I love my wife and that is the foundation of our marriage.  I want to be with her and she with me.  We are in love and I have to say that she is more my sweetheart today than she was the day I married her.  To have achieved this level of self awareness and behaviour change would have been a whole lot harder without her loving input.  I have tried to treat my wife the way I would like to be treated and love her the way I would like to be loved.

 

So how do I treat my parents?  Unfortunately I have to keep them at a distance, too close and all the hurt comes back and haunts me.  Can I forgive them?  Most of the time.  Sometimes it overwhelms me and I regress to old ways of thinking.  Is this easy?  No!!!  One other thing that I find hard is that my brother and sisters have little concept of what I went through and as a result I often feel isolated by their apparent inability to comprehend my point of view.  To them life was good and I was the bad egg so I needed to be punished. 

 

Now that I am in my thirties I have matured a little and can think more kindly on my parents.  My little pieces of advice from my own experience are:

* look at yourself honestly but not critically and make changes to what needs changing and keep that which needs keeping

* forgive yourself

* treat your wife as a queen, love her as you want to be loved

* invest time and effort in your children, because your power as a parent is immense

* do not let the past dictate the future

* find faith and keep it

 

I hope that this helps. It is a snapshot of where I was and where I am. 

 

Steve de Keijzer has been married for nearly 16 years and has three children.  The eldest and youngest are girls aged 14 and 8 and a boy aged 11 in the middle.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Michael Kiely's book 'Man Overboard' is still available and will give you keys to win the battle of love and save your marriage from destruction. To get your free copy simply send your request with a copy of the first page of your fathersonline (which contains your first name and email address), to Michael Kiely: michael@newhorizon.au.com   with 'Free copy of Man Overboard' written in the subject line. Make sure you give Michael some feedback on his kindness in giving you a copy, free of charge.

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Thought of the Week

 

 

Every child comes with the message

that God is not yet
discouraged of man.

 

Tagore

 

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Special Feature

What Great Deeds We Can Do When We Love

Part 1

Andrew Bolt, Herald Sun, 10 March 2006

 

A mother-to-be was advised by her doctor to "terminate that fetus". She refused and later gave birth to "a perfect little boy".

TWO brave women reminded me this week of what we lose in this terrible cult of the perfect child.

Brave-Loving is the better word. For what great deeds we can do when we love.

A Melbourne woman, let's call her Mary, this week wrote to me after reading in my book of the abortion of a girl just two months from birth.

The girl had been diagnosed 'it seems perhaps wrongly' with dwarfism.

Something about that case reminded Mary of her own pregnancy. For legal reasons I won't say just what, or give her real name or that of the doctor involved.

Mary writes that in 1994 she fell pregnant, and was so sick that she had an ultrasound at 10 weeks to find out what was wrong.

It was only then she learned she was carrying twins. But the second baby was very small.

"This meant the baby was likely to have gross abnormalities because although it's normal for twins to differ in size late in pregnancy and after birth, in early pregnancy they should be exactly the same size to be normal.

"The doctor immediately recommended that I should `terminate that fetus'.

" `You mean kill the baby?' I replied, at which he got a bit upset with me and asked me not to use such language!"

The doctor preferred the term "selective reduction".

As Mary learned: "One or more babies in the womb are injected in the head with saline, which kills them, and they are then left dead in the womb until the healthy baby or babies are delivered.

"This is sometimes done because of abnormalities, but is also routinely done for mothers who simply don't want twins, triplets or quads.

"How parents of healthy babies choose which will live and which will die, and how a mother lies on a table while a saline needle is inserted in her stomach to kill one of her babies is beyond me, but apparently this is normal.

"My main memory of all of this is the doctor's incredible nonchalance.

"He was not only blase about what he proposed to do, he was even eager to do it ? and he was quite forthright about his belief that any baby with even a suspicion of abnormality, or indeed any baby the parents simply did not want, should be dispatched forthwith.

"He was keen to perform this procedure on me as soon as possible, without any further testing of any kind.

"I even remember him reminding me that I was not being fair to my other larger twin if I did not allow him to kill the smaller one. This was because I was already at risk of premature birth."

Mary says she's sure the doctor thought he was being professional and he was right to tell her her options.

"I'm university educated and am a pretty strong woman with a good marriage - so together, my husband and I found the strength (although it wasn't easy at the time in an emotional state) to resist the doctor's recommendations and stall for time...

"How do single women, or women intimidated by the medical profession, or emotionally fragile women, or women with poor family support resist the eagerness that some in the medical profession have to solve what they simply see as a `problem'?"

Mary and her husband, after much agonising, agreed to an amniocentesis test to check that the smaller twin really was deformed.

"I still remember lying on the table waiting to have this test, arguing with the doctor as he stood over me, huge needle in hand, as he tried to convince me to have the amnio test done on both babies rather than just one - `because you may as well now that you're here'.

"This from a man who knew that the risk of miscarriage after an amniocentesis is about 1 per cent for a single pregnancy and up to 5 per cent for twins. He still wanted to double the risk - to ensure that we didn't bring any handicapped babies into the world.

"We managed to resist this pressure and only had the amnio on the smaller baby, although I will regret until the day I die even agreeing to this, as I nearly miscarried the following day."

MARY concludes: "I have a result sheet issued by the doctor from my 10-week ultrasound on which are written the words, `fetus 2 not viable'.

"I like to compare this document with the child it refers to - now an 11-year-old, funny, sensitive, gifted, football-playing, blues-guitar-addicted, satin-skinned and perfect little boy, our son."

She has sent me a photo of him in Port Douglas kissing a cane toad held by his grinning brother.

"It turned out that the only explanation there was for the boys' different sizes early in pregnancy was that they must have been conceived a week or two apart . . .

"I was not told that this could be a possible explanation until well after I was meant to have made a decision to inject my son Paul in the head with saline."

How many other women have been told 'wrongly' they were carrying a damaged baby and have given in to urgings to have their healthy child killed?

This and other troubling aspects of our cult of the perfect baby are discussed in an intensely moving new book by Canberra writer Melinda Tankard Reist.

In Defiant Birth she presents the stories of women who refused to kill the babies in their womb they were warned were damaged, and gave birth months later to children of love.

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,18415068%255E25717,00.html  

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News & Info

 

MEDIA RELEASE

Flawed Family Law Reform Passed by Senate

 

At midnight on 30th March 2006 the fatally flawed family law reform was passed by the Senate.

 

Warwick Marsh, founder of the Fatherhood Foundation said, "Whilst the reform bill is a step in the right direction, and contains some good ideas, the fundamental problem has not been fixed. The problem is the gender bias against the male of the species that is embedded in the culture of the Family Law Court and its many agencies. This gender bias is expressed in the many submissions that have been put in by these government agencies and counselling services against the 'rebuttable presumption of equal parenting time' as a starting point in family law ref orm."

 

"The current one-size fits all policy of sole custody will continue to predominate and children will continue to be robbed of one of their parents in over 95% of cases. Ninety percent of the time, this will be the father. Children need mother and a father for their proper development. Mothers and fathers contribute uniquely and importantly to a child's development. What part of the word equality does the Family Law Court establishment and the government not understand?"

 

Mr Marsh continued, "The fathers, mothers and children of Australia would like to salute Senator Steve Fielding of the Family First Party for bringing forward some common sense amendments that would have fixed the Family law Reform Bill and ensure that the Family Law Court would grant justice to our children and equality to mothers and fathers. Unfortunately these family friendly common sense amendments have been rejected by the government and the senate. All the indications point to the fact that the current family law reform, in the words of Waheed Ali, a family law court judge's associate, will continue to be more of a 'mirage' than a breakthrough. Children need equal access to both their mother and father. The children of Australia need justice, not more broken promises. How much longer must our children wait?"

 

For further comment:

Warwick Marsh

0418 225 212

02 4272 6677

Fatherhood Foundation

info@fathersonline.org

www.fathersonline.org  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Father Should Have Equal Right

The Australian Christian Lobby released a media statement calling on the federal government to give father equal rights when a marriage break down.

 Posted: Monday, March 27 , 2006, 6:17 (EST)

 

 

On the 27th March 2006, as federal parliament prepared to debate the Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill, the executive chairman of the Australian Christian Lobby, Jim Wallace had called on the government to recognise the equal role a father plays when the marriage dissolve.

 

The Family Law Amendment, in what federal Attorney General Phillip Ruddock hailed as one of the most significant reform in the past 30 years, stated the bill would reflect the right of children growing up with the love and support of both parents.

 

However Mr. Wallace disagreed, saying the bill failed to recognise the role of father as having the natural and equal right to take care of his children when a relationship fail. He said: 'This Bill failed to recognise what was natural and right, that fathers are equally parents and that while relationships might fail, parenting was forever.'

 

One of the major changes, which the government had adopted, was to insert a presumption or starting point of equal shared parental responsibility. This meant both parents had an equal role in making decisions about major long term issues involving their children such as choosing school.

 

Mr. Wallace believed this does not go far enough and believed that father should have equal responsibility and access to kids. This should be the premise of custody negotiation. He said: 'Failure to begin custody negotiations from the premise that both parents might equally love their child was ridiculous. There was no argument with the fact that this principle should be rebuttable. However unless good reasons to reduce time for one or other of the parents could be established, surely commonsense said the law should be required to give each not only equal responsibility for the child, but equal access.'

 

Mr. Wallace warned failure to pass his propose amendment would entrenched the 'anti-male character in the Australian family system' and Australia would be out of sync with other countries who already acknowledged the natural right of fathers.

 

He said: 'To allow this legislation to pass unamended was to further entrench the strongly feminist, even anti-male character of our family law system. Our family law system reflected more ideology than compassion, and it was a shortcoming being progressively recognised in the rest of the world, with many jurisdictions having already amended similar legislation to acknowledge the natural and reasonable rights of fathers and children.'

 

Sze Leng Chan

szeleng@christiantoday.com.au

www.christiantoday.com.au  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Hands off Marriage

Australian Family Association backs PM's move to ban s-s civil unions

 

The Australian Family Association today congratulated Prime Minister John Howard for his commitment to marriage.

 

National Vice President of the Australian Family Association, Mary-Louise Fowler, today said that 'The ACT's proposed legislation for same-sex civil unions are designed to give same-sex unions the same status as marriage. The clear intention of the ACT proposal is to undermine the institution of marriage. This is unacceptable and we are grateful that Mr Howard has indicated that he is prepared to overrule any such laws passed.'

 

The Australian Family Association believes that tampering with the traditional understanding of marriage is a grave error that would empty marriage of any meaning.

 

'Studies show that children and spouses in strong marriages are the ones who do best on all scores - socially, economically, emotionally and so on. Why on earth would we want to jeopardize marriage and the benefits its brings to families by blurring its meaning'? Mrs Fowler said.

 

The Australian Family Association has a long track record of defending marriage. It was an important player in gaining the amendment to the Marriage Act which in 2004 defined marriage as being a union between a man and a woman.

 

'If necessary the Australian Family Association will fight again to defend  marriage.' said Mrs Fowler.

 

Contact:

Mary-Louise Fowler   02 6383 4242 or Angela Conway 0438 618 840

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Pro-Lifers Cite Need to Pull RU 486 From Market -

Review Drug's Approval Process

By Mary Rettig and Bill Fancher

AgapePress

March 27, 2006

 

(AgapePress) -- The associate executive director of a Christian medical association says it's saddening that two more women have died apparently as a result of using the abortion drug RU 486. He says more w omen should not have to die to prove it is a dangerous drug. Meanwhile, a national pro-life group believes the White House and the FDA should be held accountable for the two deaths.

Dr. Gene Rudd with the Christian Medical & Dental Associations says the fact that these two women died is made even more sad because the deaths were not only predictable, but also avoidable. He says there were other deaths linked to RU 486 in California last year that were caused by a common bacteria.

"Now there's no reason to believe that this should be geographically confined to California," says Rudd, adding that there is good evidence supporting the argument that there likely is a serious under-reporting problem of complications stemming from the drug's use.

"Reporting of drug complications in this country is not terrible, but it's not excellent either," he asserts. "Then you add to that the ... abortion industry, which has reason to want to keep this a secret, and we result in having a lot of these cases going unreported."

Rudd says members of the CMDA say they have seen these cases of complications in women using RU 486, but that they have no idea of knowing whether they get reported to the Food and Drug Administration. He asserts that the public only hears about the deaths from the drug -- but all the other complications from using RU 486 are either hidden or not reported at all.

Those complications have convinced Rudd that the most recent report of two women dying from infections after using the controversial abortion drug is proof that more should have been done by the FDA to test the drug.

"The safety studies that were done to approve this were not adequate," the CMDA spokesman claims. "They weren't done adequately on young women, they weren't done in a good controlled design study to start with. So we asked the government to take the drug off the market."

According to Rudd, the federal government is still considering his group's petition. "But now with these deaths occurring and with the lack of adequate safety studies to start with, there's just all the good reasons in the world to take this drug off the market," he states.

Planned Parenthood reports that more than half a million women have used RU 486, but Rudd says that is only the denominator of the equation. He says the public would likely be shocked by the true, harmful impact of the abortion drug.

 

ALL: FDA Needs to Be Held Accountable!

 

Judie Brown is shocked -- because nothing is being done. In fact, the long-time defender of the unborn says she is livid at the inaction of the Bush administration and the FDA after the two latest deaths attributed to RU 486. The American Life League president says the fact that seven deaths were caused by the drug apparently has not gotten through to lawmakers in the nation's capital about the danger posed by the drug.

"So far we have not heard one word from the White House," Brown shares. "We haven't heard one word from a member of Congress -- and I think it's totally disgusting."

Brown has a suggestion. "I think the Food and Drug Administration will get the message when the President of the United States decides that his war on terror has to start right here at home, and he calls the [FDA] to account for the deaths of these women," she says.

The ALL spokeswoman also suggests that opponents of abortion work together and let their voices be heard on Capitol Hill. "We have to join together and pressure the White House to call the Food and Drug Administration to account for their irresponsible behavior, not only with RU 486 but with all these chemicals that kill babies and obviously kill mothers," she states.

Another pro-life group, National Right to Life, claims there have been more than 800 confirmed injuries and complications associated with the taking of RU 486. Brown says she would like to see Congress call for an investigation into the approval process of the abortion drug.

 

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You may  be interested in a video blog by Senator Steve Fielding, expressing his disappointment he was not able to move the amendments, which you can find here:

http://www.stevefielding.com.au/html/videos/310306backonmyfeet.html

 

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Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

This is just a short note of appreciation for the good work you're doing for families.

 

People like yourself, Senators Fielding and Joyce, and your wives, are

the salt of the earth.

 

Regards

Ian Windsor

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I regularly receive information about how I can make a difference in this messed up place, and as of yesterday I thought I'd empower some others to be informed too. That is why I put my "Christian

Advocates" list together.

 

If you also become aware of information you think others would like to act on, please let me know.

 

I feel during these last years that things are finally get bad enough that the Christian church is waking up to its role in being a light of truth, and salt that preserves. I too am waking up, and recognising the multitude of opportunities and responsibilities that avail themselves to me everyday.

 

If you wish to join me and others in this pursuit, please send me your name and email address and be assured that these opportunities will continue to come.

 

Kevin Sargeant

kevinsargeant@yahoo.com.au  

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

As I read your latest newsletter I feel disappointed that the Liberal Government does not seem to be listening to your voice. One new MP David Fawcett, Wakefield used to run courses for Focus on the Family. I know him from the Baptist Church we attended, plus I lost pre-selection against him, which I didn't mind, assuming he would fly the same flag in Canberra. I can't recall you ever having mentioned any of his ideas in your newsletter.

 

Reading about the inequality after a separation, I had another thought. Would it not be fair, if the payments men had to make toward their children, were based on the time they are allowed to spend with them? As with abortion - a father is given no say whatsoever about terminating his seed, but when it comes to responsibility - he is soon reminded that he was the one that started it all.

 

It looks like we have a long way to go to put men back into the position God intended them to be.

 

Kind regards

Dieter Fischer, Adelaide

www.dieterfischer.com

driva@kern.com.au  

 

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Dear Fatherhood Foundation & the Australian fatherhood movement

 

Congratulations on the outstanding Empowerment, Mobilization & Sharing Work being done through Team Work Unity.

 

We fully support all these constructive and positive endeavours on Family Law Reform to benefit our precious Children.

 

Great news about Senator Steven Fielding's commitment to the Family Law Reform Justice Rights. He sent us his News Release. Certainly is worthwhile initiative by him as a Family First Senator.

 

We will keep up the networking intensity and momentum, including mass media outreach, till the Senate vote happens later this coming week.

 

Best wishes, in co-operation and creativity.

 

Michael A Riddell

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Why does injustice prevail?

Why does evil prosper?

Why do good men do nothing?

Maybe the answer can be found in Bob Dylan's song:

"How many roads must a man walk down

Before you can call him a man? . .

. . . the answer my friend,
is blowing in the wind,

the answer is blowing in the wind."

 

Maybe Bob Dylan is right.

Men have to take responsibility for the road they travel

And learn to take the right paths

Through the power of the
wind of your spirit -

Because only you have the words of life.

 

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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