Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD356DEB56 for ; Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:33:16 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 30883-08 for ; Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:32:55 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=email.polyglot.com.au; Received: from email.polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id B9EC6DEB52 for ; Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:32:53 +1000 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by email.polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:32:48 +1000 Thread-Topic: Remembering our Forefathers Reply-To: Message-ID: <0e8901c66be5$39e57660$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcZr5TnjHPlxRkoITryLhm4rLGHiQw== From: To: Subject: Remembering our Forefathers Date: Sun, 30 Apr 2006 09:32:48 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0E8A_01C66C39.0B918660" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2663 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 29 Apr 2006 23:32:48.0981 (UTC) FILETIME=[39E7C050:01C66BE5] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0E8A_01C66C39.0B918660 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Welcome Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * The ANZAC Spirit * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * About Us Welcome Warwick We woke at 5 am, rubbed the sleep from our eyes, hastily dressed and then drove to our local ANZAC Dawn Service at the Port Kembla RSL. (For our overseas readers ANZAC Day is an Australian national holiday celebrating the war efforts of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps) The first thing we noticed was how difficult it was to get a park in the usually deserted streets. Cars were everywhere. After walking some distance towards the RSL Club we were surprised by the enormous crowd silently filling the streets in the pre-dawn stillness. We estimated that there were probably 500 gathered there in that pre-dawn darkness. Old diggers with medals resplendent stood next to young children. It was amazing to see the number of young children, toddlers in strollers and babies in arms. We wondered how a family did not have better things to do on a public holiday. Apparently they didn't. Twenty years ago all the pundits were saying that ANZAC Day was dead. Try telling that to the 9,000 Australian who braved the cold at Anzac Cove in Turkey for the dawn service after travelling half way round the world. Try telling that to the millions of Australians who attended dawn services and marches all over the nation. Try telling the grandchildren of our fallen war heroes that their sacrifice was not important and that they should not be honoured for their service for the nation. I'm sure it would provoke a war. Why the enthusiasm for Anzac Day? I believe it is silent testimony to the fact that the hearts of the children are being turned towards their fathers. Danna Vale MP, previous minister for Veteran Affairs and a mother of some note says, 'Mothers provide nurture, but fathers provide children with an identity'. For a while Australians seemed to be losing their identity. Maybe the fact that ANZAC Day has been resurrected is proof that we as a nation are finding our identity again as we search for the importance of fathers. Maybe, just maybe the renewal of ANZAC Day is also proof of a deep longing for spiritual truth that is embedded in the heart of man. I enclose the prologue from the Pt Kembla Dawn Service by President R Wetherall OAM for your inspiration below: "We are assembled here to commemorate that immortal day when the young men of Australia, by their deeds and sacrifice, demonstrated to the world at Gallipoli that Australia was truly a nation. The sons and daughters of Anzacs came forward without question, accepted gladly, and discharged fully their responsibilities during World War II, Korea, Malaya, Borneo, Vietnam and the current conflicts. On this day we remember the sacrifice of such men for an ideal, for a way of life. Let us take strength in the knowledge and hope that our sons and daughters will never forget the example set by our forefathers. In our everyday life let us endeavour to carry on those traditions established in past wars and conflicts at such a tragic cost. We think of every man, woman and child who, in those crucial years, died so that the lights of freedom and humanity might continue to shine. We nurture too the obligation of showing gratitude for the peace we enjoy and the responsibility of ensuring that the freedom and liberty so costly won is not lost by our own indifference. So let us mourn with pride, but let us also remember with equal pride, those who served and still live. 'See that ye hold fast the heritage we leave you, Yea and teach your children that never in the coming centuries may their hearts fail of their hangs grow weak." Lovework Teach your children well. They should know what price our fathers paid for their liberty. We do not seek to glorify war beyond its rightful place, but our father's stories must be told, otherwise our hands might grow weak and we may lose our liberty by default. So teach your children well. Yours for remembering Warwick Marsh PS On ANZAC Day I went to see the movie 'Kokoda', a five star rating according to the reviewers. For once they got it right. Next week I will tell you more about Kokoda and how our forefathers 'done us proud'. In the meantime see the movie for your self and make your own judgement. ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. (Grandaughter Photo by Robert Pierce. SMH ) back to top Grandads They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old, Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn; At the going down of the sun, and in the morning We will remember them. The Last Post back to top Laughter An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father" The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son: "Beloved Father, Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'. I love you, too, Ahmed" At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house. A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son. "Beloved Father, I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes. That's all I could do for you from here. I love you, Ahmed." back to top Single Dads Barry's Story Hi. My name is Barry Williams, National President of Lone Fathers Association Australia. Back in 1970 I become a lone dad, after my wife decided she no longer wanted to be part of the family and left, leaving behind four children, the youngest 3 months old, and the other three in primary school. I was a truck driver at the time and worked long hours starting at 6am and finishing often at 8pm, which made it extremely hard to do my job and cope with four small children. However I was determined that I was going to raise our children regardless of the obstacles placed before me. I tried to encourage my ex-wife to see the children but she did not want to. She was a chronic alcoholic and was only interested in drinking with her mates in Nambucca Heads where she ended up shifting to. But I did not give up trying to get her to see the kids as she was still their mother, and for the next 2 years I drove from Canberra to Nambucca Heads with our four children every third weekend trying to coax her to see them as I always believed that children need both mum and dad in their lives. After two years she made no indication she would cease her drinking and spend time with our children. I decided I was not going to continue to put the children through this torture of travelling that far to see their mum, only to be disappointed at what they saw. My ex filed for divorce and the case went to court in Sydney. I somehow managed to win custody of the children, but that was not enough. As soon as welfare found out I was a lone dad working and looking after four small children they harassed me stating, 'It is not right for a man to raise children on his own'. They came to remove the children from the family home with the intention of putting them into a welfare home. The children were always clean and well groomed, attended school and were properly fed, the house was always clean. Pretty good considering I was working and a full time house dad. The three month old child was being cared for by Mrs Pearl Smith (pensioner) whilst I was working. I challenged the two welfare officers on what grounds they believed they could take the kids. They could only say that mothers should be looking after the children and that they knew of no other cases in Australia where a man was looking after so many young children. I told them to get off my front steps or I would push them off it. They went over the other side of the road and rang the police, who attended and asked what was going on. They told the police I refused to let them take the children. The police then asked me if I had threatened the two women. I responded and said I told them to get off my steps and stop harassing me or I would push them off the steps. I am the father and have custody granted by the court, and I intend to raise my children even by myself. The police told the two welfare officers to get going or they would charge them. So life went on for me and my kids. I was classed as some sort of freak, I guess, because I was a single man looking after his own children. Strange as it may seem, many of my so-called friends did not want to know me, even some members of my family did not give appropriate support that one would expect. I ended up having an accident whilst driving the truck. I could not work and was only given compensation for 6 weeks, then had to sue the company for negligence. This took nine years to go to court. In that time I had no income and no money, so I had to resort to shooting rabbits, ducks, kangaroos, and catching fish to feed my kids and myself. Back then there was only a supporting mother's pension, not extended to fathers who had their children. I saw this as discrimination and went on a five day, five night hunger strike outside Federal Parliament House in Canberra, to change the supporting mothers benefit to the Single Parent Pension. Gough Whitlam wouldn't hear about it, but Malcolm Fraser told me to pack up and go home and he would meet with me. A meeting with him took place two weeks later and Malcolm Fraser agreed it had to be changed to the Single Parent Pension, which it is now. I never ever went on that pension as I chose not to. Down the line I received the Queens Medal (BEM] British Empire Medal for that change and other work I continued to do. I founded Lone Fathers Association which is now the National Peak body of Family Law in Australia and is the largest and longest running established men's movement in Australia, with 19 branches in operation, and further large branches to be established in Sydney, Melbourne, Gold Coast, and Tasmania by the end of June 2006. (We do not discriminate and allow women to become members and become committee members if they wish. We have 30% women members). By the way after many years my ex-wife sought help for her chronic alcohol problems and started to see the children. We get on really well now, and I believe we may have established a pattern of part-shared care, although by that time the children were a lot older. Thirty years ago, and even twenty years ago, men had no rights what-so-ever in family law. There have been many good changes in many areas, giving men much more rights than in those days, but there is still a long way to go before we see complete equity and justice. Lone Fathers Association Australia will continue until this goal is achieved. I am sure I can say this for all our closely associated associations: Parents without Partners, Dads in Distress, Fatherhood Foundation, Shared Parenting Council, Fathers for Justice, FICS, Law Reform Association NSW, Fathers for Equality, Child Support Action Group, Men's Rights Agency, Grandparents Association, Stepfamilies Association, and others I may have missed out on. I would like thank all our hard working branches for all their great work and support in volunteering, helping all those less fortunate, with their family law and child support problems. Finally I would like to pay respect to all those who could not cope with the system and may have taken their lives or passed away. This is also extended to all our military service men and women. God Bless Barry Williams BEM, JP, CMC National President LFAA back to top All you need is Love More Fun Ways to Say "I love you" By Michael Kiely *BUTLER - My son's very beautiful and very observant girlfriend pointed out to my wife that I have become her butler. I make it a practice to bring her a cup of tea in bed in the mornings, and slice some fruit if we have any fresh, or juice some vegetables, whatever is available. I make her favourite poached eggs once or twice a week. And I have learned how to cook her favourite dish: lamb roast. I consciously put myself out to fetch things for her when I see her about to get up and get them for herself. I do it because I enjoy it and it feels good. And it is part of my 'walking the talk' strategy. I stumbled onto it by sheer luck. My wife tripped and damaged her sciatic nerve, soon after my conversion. She was bed ridden for a week and needed to be chauffeured everywhere. I became her arms and legs for a few weeks, a good start for my campaign to win her heart. * MASSAGE - This is the best relationship mender I can think of. It started for us when my wife's damaged sciatic nerve left her in great pain. And has continued ever since. Feet, calves, thighs, buttocks, back, shoulders, neck, arms, hands, and that's it. One rule: no sex afterwards unless she initiates it. It is not a trade for sex. She must feel no pressure, so she can enjoy the massage completely relaxed throughout. This might seem hard on the male masseur, but I find the joy of touching her body satisfying in itself. The physical closeness is what sex is mainly about. Fixation on orgasm is blocking lovers from the full enjoyment of sex, anyway. Sex catches up to you eventually and it is better for the wait. And what better way to demonstrate your love than by denying yourself the most basic urge. She knows what it means. I massage her twice or three times a week. I tell her what a privilege it is and how I get as much from it as she does. It won't work if she feels guilty. You might have trouble getting her to agree at first. Keep trying. Start with only a foot massage. As she grows to trust you, it will develop. Taken from Michael Kiely's blogspot. More ideas there: http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com back to top Thought of the Week By profession I am a soldier and take pride in that fact but I am prouder to be a father. General Douglas Macarthur back to top The ANZAC Spirit The Anzac Spirit (Part 2) By Col Stringer Possibly just one Aussie Digger saved Australia from invasion by the Japanese. The action taking place at Isurava. Let me quote Patrick Lindsay again from 'The Spirit of Kokoda': "There are turning points in battle - as in life - critical moments in which the course of events is frozen for an instant, waiting for someone bold enough to seize a fleeting chance at immortality. At that moment the Japanese were poised, ready to make a final triumphant charge through to battalion headquarters. It would have been the terminal blow!.Bruce Kingsbury saw his chance. Firing from the hip, he charged straight at the stunned attackers. Alan Avery watched in awe: 'He came forward with the Bren and he just mowed them down. He was an inspiration to everybody else around him'.he just went straight into 'em'.as if bullets didn't mean anything ...We all got a bit of the action, you see. When we saw him, when you see a thing like that you sort of follow the leader, don't you?....I reckon he almost gave his life away!..there was nothing scared about him. He did a marvellous job." Kingsbury's gallant charge completely demoralised the enemy. His sweeping fire cut down perhaps 30-40 of the enemy and sent the remainder diving for cover. For his inspirational valour, Bruce Kingsbury was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross - the first ever on Australian territory. What was the motivation, what turned these young 'teenagers' into courageous fighting men? Men who inflicted the first defeat on the hitherto invincible Japanese Army! To answer that question let me quote the young men's officer Phil Roden, from the book 'The Spirit of Kokoda', "I'd like them to be remembered as a group of men who stood up to be counted when the chips were down, and who fought to save their country from what was deemed then to be a threat. And they didn't think twice about doing it. Some gave their lives doing it. I'd like them to be thought of as good parents, good fathers, good husbands and as good Australians who were there for the welfare of all people in Australia." The Anzac Spirit of Mateship Two things stood the young Anzacs in good stead, their great sense of humour under almost any circumstances and their great sense of "mateship". Let me quote Ion Idriess again as he relates about those magnificent Light Horsemen in "The Desert Column": "No doubt we are a queer lot, a scatter-brained, laughing lot. Last night, the whole crowd were trying to sing comic songs. They made the oasis hideous with choruses of the most idiotic songs I've ever heard ......But the dearest memory, the one that will linger until I die, is the comradeship of my mates, these men who laugh so harshly at their own hardships and sufferings, but whose smile is so tenderly sympathetic to other's pain." This account in the book "The A.I.F. in Sinai and Palestine" sums up the young Light Horsemen's attitude towards their beloved "mates": "..no wounded man should be permitted to fall into enemy hands. To a singular degree this noble pledge was observed. After two and a half years constant fighting only 73 Light Horse prisoners had been taken by the Turks, and most of these were wounded before capture. Not a single Light Horse officer was captured by the enemy. During the same period the light horse captured 40,000 to 50,000 Turks...." This 'mateship' is a distinguishing feature of the Aussie Digger, always has been! During WW11 Australian prisoners of war survived the horrendous Japanese prisons at almost twice the rate of the Americans and Brits. How come? No one is suggesting for a minute that these young Anzacs were physically superior in any way. So obviously there must be some other explanation. I saw a documentary on TV recently dealing with this very subject, and the answer came from an Aussie doctor who had been there himself. He said whenever he visited the 'hospital' in the Japanese prison camps he would find a dying American or Brit often accompanied by a mate or two, but more often than not he would be dying alone. But not so with the Aussies ? rarely would he find such a scenario. The doctor said that it was an honour to watch an Aussie Digger die, because he was always surrounded by a bunch of his mates! The doctor added that these mates would be bathing their friend, spending hours keeping him as cool and comfortable as possible during their bouts of malaria or dengue fever. If the sick needed help or water there was always a mate there to lend a hand - day or night. Another thing was the verbal support they gave each other, urging their sick mates on, that they were going to make it. I can imagine some of the blokes: "Come on Bluey mate! You have to make it back to Aussie, you still owe me 10 quid and I ain't gonna let ya cop out on us!" I believe it was this support that would have pulled their mates through those tough times. The documentary also talked about how many of the Australian Diggers would risk their lives to sneak out to steal food (and medicine) or buy it on the black market for their sick mates. One old Digger interviewed broke into tears and said. "It was my mates that pulled me through. If it wasn't for those blokes I wouldn't be here today!" Many of the men formed bonds that lasted a lifetime. It was this mateship that resulted in a survival rate of almost twice that of other Allies. This quote from 'The Spirit of Kokoda' sums up mateship: "I emphatically believe in looking after number one. But number one is not yourself - it's your best mate .....The feeling mateship gives you when you are at the bottom of the barrel and along comes those mates of yours. Often they don't say anything, they just sit with you. It's like a husband and wife holding hands on one another's death beds - in time of crisis words aren't necessary." Is this not what exactly Jesus taught us, after cutting away all the 'religiosity' - "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13). back to top News & Info Mendacious mums can't be let off lightly If the High Court is too soft on women who deceive their husbands on matters of paternity, parliament will have to step in, writes: Janet Albrechtsen 26 Apr 06 - The Australian SOME issues are so fraught with emotion and hurt, they don't bear thinking about. It's tempting to put paternity fraud in that basket. But science is putting pressure on the law to confront this vexed issue. When a woman dupes a man into believing he is the father of a child she conceived with another man, increasingly, DNA tests end up delivering the shattering news. A father loses a child he thought was his, one he raised, loved and cared for as his own. A child loses a father and a family collapses. When that happens, what is the law to do? The High Court is confronting that issue right now. Liam and Meredith Magill were married in April 1988. A son was born in April 1989. Unknown to her husband, a few months later Meredith began an affair with a man, having unprotected sex until early 1995. In July 1990 a second son was born. Then, the next year, a daughter. After separating, Meredith admitted to Liam her concerns over paternity. A few years later she agreed to DNA tests. Liam learned that the two younger children were not his. He was left devastated, suffered chronic depression and was unable to work. He sued Meredith for the tort of deceit, claiming financial compensation for his pain and suffering, but not for money spent on the upbringing and maintenance of the children. While the Victorian County Court found that Meredith had deceived Liam when she nominated him as the father on birth registration notices, that was overturned last year by the Victorian Court of Appeal. The High Court will now decide whether the tort of deceit will hold Meredith accountable for her actions. There are few hints as to which way the High Court will go. But few will be surprised to hear that at the hearing a few weeks back, Justice Michael Kirby pointed to international law as the guiding light. He cited Article 3 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child and said it means that the starting point in any matter that comes before the court must be determining what is in the best interests of the child. Up in the rarefied atmosphere of international law, it's a neat sounding slogan. But down in the trenches, trying to apply it to the specifics of a case like this is another matter. Kirby suggests that the "best interests of the child" test applies for the simple reason that this case involves the depletion of family income: were Liam Magill to win, Meredith Magill would be forced to pay. It's a novel argument. Taken to its logical conclusion, it would prevent any legal action against any person who also happens to be a parent. After all, any legal payout drains the family income to the detriment of a child. Note that Kirby's focus on the best interests of the child did not extend to a child knowing their biological father. Given that adoption laws are now premised on this rationale, one might think it should also apply here. In any event, the High Court will need to probe a little deeper than the fine sounding but vacuous provisions of international law. And the question is simple: should the law of deceit apply where a mother and wife has deceived a husband into believing he is the father of a child? The court need not mess with the law of deceit. The principles are clear. Only the facts are new because science - DNA testing - is now revealing the deceit. Those who claim there is a public policy argument in letting sleeping dogs lie assume that preventing litigation of this kind will make for happy families. It will do no such thing. It will only encourage women to perpetrate fraud in an age when science can uncover the truth. And there is no turning science back. Legal disputes over paternity fraud do not create the unhappiness. They are merely the aftermath of mothers deceiving men. As in every other sphere of life, the only way to encourage responsibility is to make people accountable for their actions. The law has an important role in sending powerful messages capable of shaping behaviour in the future. Far from creating more unhappiness, legal sanctions for paternity fraud will, in the long run, encourage mothers to be honest about paternity. To read the rest of this article please go to source: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20876,18928924-32522,00.htm l ________________________________________________________________________ ______ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I've been reading your newsletter every week since 2002, and the Monday morning perspective check is invaluable, I reckon. Well done for keeping this going for so long Even though there's a bit of right wing fundamentalism at times over certain issues, I'm sure that there are many other of us blokes out there who appreciate the work you do, so thanx again Ciao Chris Maple * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation Thanks for the newsletters they keep me going sometimes Cheers Gary back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God It was very inspiring to join with millions of my fellow Australians who attend dawn services all across Australia. I was thinking about what I could say to you this week. Would you accept the word of the 'Abide with Me' which we sang on the streets of Port Kembla At the ANZAC Dawn Service? Abide with me, fast falls the eventide, The darkness deepens, Lord with me abide; When other helpers fail, and comfort flee, Help of the helpless, O abide with me. I fear no foe with Thee at hand to bless, Ills have no weight and tears no bitterness, Where is death's sting? back to top About Us Mission Statement & Help Us! Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families. Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please mail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_0E8A_01C66C39.0B918660 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Welcome Warwick

We woke at 5 am, rubbed the sleep from our eyes, hastily dressed and then drove to our local ANZAC Dawn Service at the Port Kembla RSL. (For our overseas readers ANZAC Day is an Australian national holiday celebrating the war efforts of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps)

 

The first thing we noticed was how difficult it was to get a park in the usually deserted streets.  Cars were everywhere. After walking some distance towards the RSL Club we were surprised by the enormous crowd silently filling the streets in the pre-dawn stillness.    We estimated that there were probably 500 gathered there in that pre-dawn darkness.  Old diggers with medals resplendent stood next to young children. It was amazing to see the number of young children, toddlers in strollers and babies in arms.  We wondered how a family did not have better things to do on a public holiday.  Apparently they didn't.

 

Twenty years ago all the pundits were saying that ANZAC Day was dead.  Try telling that to the 9,000 Australian who braved the cold at Anzac Cove in Turkey for the dawn service after travelling half way round the world.  Try telling that to the millions of Australians who attended dawn services and marches all over the nation. Try telling the grandchildren of our fallen war heroes that their sacrifice was not important and that they should not be honoured for their service for the nation.  I'm sure it would provoke a war.  Why the enthusiasm for Anzac Day?

 

I believe it is silent testimony to the fact that the hearts of the children are being turned towards their fathers.  Danna Vale MP, previous minister for Veteran Affairs and a mother of some note says, 'Mothers provide nurture, but fathers provide children with an identity'. For a while Australians seemed to be losing their identity.  Maybe the fact that ANZAC Day has been resurrected is proof that we as a nation are finding our identity again as we search for the importance of fathers.  Maybe, just maybe the renewal of ANZAC Day is also proof of a deep longing for spiritual truth that is embedded in the heart of man. I enclose the prologue from the Pt Kembla Dawn Service by President R Wetherall OAM for your inspiration below:

 

"We are assembled here to commemorate that immortal day when the young men of Australia, by their deeds and sacrifice, demonstrated to the world at Gallipoli that Australia was truly a nation.

 

The sons and daughters of Anzacs came forward without question, accepted gladly, and discharged fully their responsibilities during World War II, Korea, Malaya, Borneo, Vietnam and the current conflicts.

 

On this day we remember the sacrifice of such men for an ideal, for a way of life.  Let us take strength in the knowledge and hope that our sons and daughters will never forget the example set by our forefathers.  In our everyday life let us endeavour to carry on those traditions established in past wars and conflicts at such a tragic cost.

 

We think of every man, woman and child who, in those crucial years, died so that the lights of freedom and humanity might continue to shine.  We nurture too the obligation of showing gratitude for the peace we enjoy and the responsibility of ensuring that the freedom and liberty so costly won is not lost by our own indifference.

  

So let us mourn with pride, but let us also remember with equal pride, those who served and still live. 'See that ye hold fast the heritage we leave you, Yea and teach your children that never in the coming centuries may their hearts fail of their hangs grow weak."

 

Lovework

 

Teach your children well.  They should know what price our fathers paid for their liberty. We do not seek to glorify war beyond its rightful place, but our father's stories must be told, otherwise our hands might grow weak and we may lose our liberty by default.  So teach your children well.

 

Yours for remembering

Warwick Marsh

 

PS  On ANZAC Day I went to see the movie 'Kokoda', a five star rating according to the reviewers.  For once they got it right.  Next week I will tell you more about Kokoda and how our forefathers 'done us proud'.  In the meantime see the movie for your self and make your own judgement.

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

(Grandaughter Photo by Robert Pierce. SMH )

back to top

Grandads

 

 

They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old,

Age shall not weary them nor
the years condemn;

At the going down of the sun, and
in the morning

We will remember them.

 

The Last Post

 

 

back to top

Laughter

 

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."

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Single Dads

 

Barry's Story

 

Hi. My name is Barry Williams, National President of Lone Fathers Association Australia.

 

Back in 1970 I become a lone dad, after my wife decided she no longer wanted to be part of the family and left, leaving behind four children, the youngest 3 months old, and the other three in primary school. I was a truck driver at the time and worked long hours starting at 6am and finishing often at 8pm, which made it extremely hard to do my job and cope with four small children. However I was determined that I was going to raise our children regardless of the obstacles placed before me.

 

I tried to encourage my ex-wife to see the children but she did not want to. She was a chronic alcoholic and was only interested in drinking with her mates in Nambucca Heads where she ended up shifting to. But I did not give up trying to get her to see the kids as she was still their mother, and for the next 2 years I drove from Canberra to Nambucca Heads with our four children every third weekend trying to coax her to see them as I always believed that children need both mum and dad in their lives. 

After two years she made no indication she would cease her drinking and spend time with our children. I decided I was not going to continue to put the children through this torture of travelling that far to see their mum, only to be disappointed at what they saw. My ex filed for divorce and the case went to court in Sydney. I somehow managed to win custody of the children, but that was not enough. As soon as welfare found out I was a lone dad working and looking after four small children they harassed me stating, 'It is not right for a man to raise children on his own'. They came to remove the child ren from the family home with the intention of putting them into a welfare home. The children were always clean and well groomed, attended school and were properly fed, the house was always clean. Pretty good considering I was working and a full time house dad. The three month old child was being cared for by Mrs Pearl Smith (pensioner) whilst I was working.

 

I challenged the two welfare officers on what grounds they believed they could take the kids. They could only say that mothers should be looking after the children and that they knew of no other cases in Australia where a man was looking after so many young children. I told them to get off my front steps or I would push them off it. They went over the other side of the road and rang the police, who attended and asked what was going on. They told the police I refused to let them take the children. 

The police then asked me if I had threatened the two women. I responded and said I told them to get off my steps and stop harassing me or I would push them off the steps. I am the father and have custody granted by the court, and I intend to raise my children even by myself. The police told the two welfare officers to get going or they would charge them.

 

So life went on for me and my kids. I was classed as some sort of freak, I guess, because I was a single man looking after his own children. Strange as it may seem, many of my so-called friends did not want to know me, even some members of my family did not give appropriate support that one would expect.

 

I ended up having an accident whilst driving the truck. I could not work and was only given compensation for 6 weeks, then had to sue the company for negligence. This took nine years to go to court. In that time I had no income and no money, so I had to resort to shooting rabbits, ducks, kangaroos, and catching fish to feed my kids and myself.

 

Back then there was only a supporting mother's pension, not extended to fathers who had their children. I saw this as discrimination and went on a five day, five night hunger strike outside Federal Parliament House in Canberra, to change the supporting mothers benefit to the Single Parent Pension. Gough Whitlam wouldn't hear about it, but Malcolm Fraser told me to pack up and go home and he would meet with me. A meeting with him took place two weeks later and Malcolm Fraser agreed it had to be changed to the Single Parent Pension, which it is now. I never ever went on that pension as I chose not to. Down the line I received the Queens Medal (BEM] British Empire Medal for that change and other work I continued to do.

 

I founded Lone Fathers Association which is now the National Peak body of Family Law in Australia and is the largest and longest running established men's movement in Australia, with 19 branches in operation, and further large branches to be established in Sydney, Melbourne, Gold Coast, and Tasmania by the end of June 2006. (We do not discriminate and allow women to become members and become committee members if they wish. We have 30% women members).

 

By the way after many years my ex-wife sought help for her chronic alcohol problems and started to see the children. We get on really well now, and I believe we may have established a pattern of part-shared care, although by that time the children were a lot older.

 

Thirty years ago, and even twenty years ago, men had no rights what-so-ever in family law. There have been many good changes in many areas, giving men much more rights than in those days, but there is still a long way to go before we see complete equity and justice. Lone Fathers Association Australia will continue until this goal is achieved. I am sure I can say this for all our closely associated associations: Parents without Partners, Dads in Distress, Fatherhood Foundation, Shared Parenting Council, Fathers for Justice, FICS, Law Reform Association NSW, Fathers for Equality, Child Support Action Group, Men's Rights Agency, Grandparents Association, Stepfamilies Association, and others I may have missed out on.

 

I would like thank all our hard working branches for all their great work and support in volunteering, helping all those less fortunate, with their family law and child support problems.

 

Finally I would like to pay respect to all those who could not cope with the system and may have taken their lives or passed away. This is also extended to all our military service men and women.

 

God Bless

Barry Williams BEM, JP, CMC

National President

LFAA         

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All you need is Love

 

More Fun Ways to Say "I love you"

By Michael Kiely

 

 

*BUTLER - My son's very beautiful and very observant girlfriend pointed out to my wife that I have become her butler. I make it a practice to bring her a cup of tea in bed in the mornings, and slice some fruit if we have any fresh, or juice some vegetables, whatever is available. I make her favourite poached eggs once or twice a week. And I have learned how to cook her favourite dish: lamb roast. I consciously put myself out to fetch things for her when I see her about to get up and get them for herself. I do it because I enjoy it and it feels good. And it is part of my 'walking the talk' strategy. I stumbled onto it by sheer luck. My wife tripped and damaged her sciatic nerve, soon after my conversion. She was bed ridden for a week and needed to be chauffeured everywhere. I became her arms and legs for a few weeks, a good start for my campaign to win her heart.

 

* MASSAGE - This is the best relationship mender I can think of. It started for us when my wife's damaged sciatic nerve left her in great pain. And has continued ever since. Feet, calves, thighs, buttocks, back, shoulders, neck, arms, hands, and that's it. One rule: no sex afterwards unless she initiates it. It is not a trade for sex. She must feel no pressure, so she can enjoy the massage completely relaxed throughout. This might seem hard on the male masseur, but I find the joy of touching her body satisfying in itself. The physical closeness is what sex is mainly about. Fixation on orgasm is blocking lovers from the full enjoyment of sex, anyway. Sex catches up to you eventually and it is better for the wait. And what better way to demonstrate your love than by denying yourself the most basic urge. She knows what it means. I massage her twice or three times a week. I tell her what a privilege it is and how I get as much from it as she does. It won't work if she feels guilty. You might have trouble getting her to agree at first. Keep trying. Start with only a foot massage. As she grows to trust you, it will develop.

 

Taken from Michael Kiely's blogspot.

More ideas there:  http://manoverboardbook.blogspot.com  

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Thought of the Week

 

By profession I am a soldier

and take pride in that fact

but I am prouder

to be a father.

 

General Douglas Macarthur

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The ANZAC Spirit

 

The Anzac Spirit (Part 2)

By Col Stringer

 

Possibly just one Aussie Digger saved Australia from invasion by the Japanese. The action taking place at Isurava. Let me quote Patrick Lindsay again from 'The Spirit of Kokoda':

 

"There are turning points in battle - as in life - critical moments in which the course of events is frozen for an instant, waiting for someone bold enough to seize a fleeting chance at immortality. At that moment the Japanese were poised, ready to make a final triumphant charge through to battalion headquarters. It would have been the terminal blow!.Bruce Kingsbury saw his chance. Firing from the hip, he charged straight at the stunned attackers. Alan Avery watched in awe: 'He came forward with the Bren and he just mowed them down. He was an inspiration to everybody else around him'.he just went straight into 'em'.as if bullets didn't mean anything ...We all got a bit of the action, you see. When we saw him, when you see a thing like that you sort of follow the leader, don't you?....I reckon he almost gave his life away!..there was nothing scared about him. He did a ma rvellous job."

 

Kingsbury's gallant charge completely demoralised the enemy. His sweeping fire cut down perhaps 30-40 of the enemy and sent the remainder diving for cover. For his inspirational valour, Bruce Kingsbury was posthumously awarded the Victoria Cross - the first ever on Australian territory.

 

What was the motivation, what turned these young 'teenagers' into courageous fighting men? Men who inflicted the first defeat on the hitherto invincible Japanese Army! To answer that question let me quote the young men's officer Phil Roden, from the book 'The Spirit of Kokoda',

 

"I'd like them to be remembered as a group of men who stood up to be counted when the chips were down, and who fought to save their country from what was deemed then to be a threat. And they didn't think twice about doing it. Some gave their lives doing it. I'd like them to be thought of as good parents, good fathers, good husbands and as good Australians who were there for the welfare of all people in Australia."

 

The Anzac Spirit of Mateship

 

Two things stood the young Anzacs in good stead, their great sense of humour under almost any circumstances and their great sense of "mateship". Let me quote Ion Idriess again as he relates about those magnificent Light Horsemen in "The Desert Column":

 

"No doubt we are a queer lot, a scatter-brained, laughing lot. Last night, the whole crowd were trying to sing comic songs. They made the oasis hideous with choruses of the most idiotic songs I've ever heard ......But the dearest memory, the one that will linger until I die, is the comradeship of my mates, these men who laugh so harshly at their own hardships and sufferings, but whose smile is so tenderly sympathetic to other's pain."

 

This account in the book "The A.I.F. in Sinai and Palestine" sums up the young Light Horsemen's attitude towards their beloved "mates":

 

"..no wounded man should be permitted to fall into enemy hands. To a singular degree this noble pledge was observed. After two and a half years constant fighting only 73 Light Horse prisoners had been taken by the Turks, and most of these were wounded before capture. Not a single Light Horse officer was captured by the enemy. During the same period the light horse captured 40,000 to 50,000 Turks...."

 

This 'mateship' is a distinguishing feature of the Aussie Digger, always has been! During WW11 Australian prisoners of war survived the horrendous Japanese prisons at almost twice the rate of the Americans and Brits. How come? No one is suggesting for a minute that these young Anzacs were physically superior in any way. So obviously there must be some other explanation. I saw a documentary on TV recently dealing with this very subject, and the answer came from an Aussie doctor who had been there himself. He said whenever he visited the 'hospital' in the Japanese prison camps he would find a dying American or Brit often accompanied by a mate or two, but more often than not he would be dying alone. But not so with the Aussies ? rarely would he find such a scenario. The doctor said that it was an honour to watch an Aussie Digger die, because he was always surrounded by a bunch of hi s mates!

 

The doctor added that these mates would be bathing their friend, spending hours keeping him as cool and comfortable as possible during their bouts of malaria or dengue fever. If the sick needed help or water there was always a mate there to lend a hand - day or night. Another thing was the verbal support they gave each other, urging their sick mates on, that they were going to make it. I can imagine some of the blokes: "Come on Bluey mate! You have to make it back to Aussie, you still owe me 10 quid and I ain't gonna let ya cop out on us!" I believe it was this support that would have pulled their mates through those tough times. The documentary also talked about how many of the Australian Diggers would risk their lives to sneak out to steal food (and medicine) or buy it on the black market for their sick mates. One old Digger interviewed broke into tears and said. "It was m y mates that pulled me through. If it wasn't for those blokes I wouldn't be here today!"

Many of the men formed bonds that lasted a lifetime. It was this mateship that resulted in a survival rate of almost twice that of other Allies. This quote from 'The Spirit of Kokoda' sums up mateship:

 

"I emphatically believe in looking after number one. But number one is not yourself - it's your best mate .....The feeling mateship gives you when you are at the bottom of the barrel and along comes those mates of yours. Often they don't say anything, they just sit with you. It's like a husband and wife holding hands on one another's death beds - in time of crisis words aren't necessary."  Is this not what exactly Jesus taught us, after cutting away all the 'religiosity' -  "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." (John 15:13).

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News & Info

 

Mendacious mums can't be let off lightly

If the High Court is too soft on women who deceive their husbands on matters of paternity, parliament will have to step in, writes: Janet Albrechtsen 26 Apr 06 - The Australian

 

SOME issues are so fraught with emotion and hurt, they don't bear thinking about. It's tempting to put paternity fraud in that basket. But science is putting pressure on the law to confront this vexed issue. When a woman dupes a man into believing he is the father of a child she conceived with another man, increasingly, DNA tests end up delivering the shattering news. A father loses a child he thought was his, one he raised, loved and cared for as his own. A child loses a father and a family collapses. When that happens, what is the law to do?

 

The High Court is confronting that issue right now. Liam and Meredith Magill were married in April 1988. A son was born in April 1989. Unknown to her husband, a few months later Meredith began an affair with a man, having unprotected sex until early 1995. In July 1990 a second son was born. Then, the next year, a daughter. After separating, Meredith admitted to Liam her concerns over paternity. A few years later she agreed to DNA tests. Liam learned that the two younger children were not his.

He was left devastated, suffered chronic depression and was unable to work. He sued Meredith for the tort of deceit, claiming financial compensation for his pain and suffering, but not for money spent on the upbringing and maintenance of the children.

While the Victorian County Court found that Meredith had deceived Liam when she nominated him as the father on birth registration notices, that was overturned last year by the Victorian Court of Appeal. The High Court will now decide whether the tort of deceit will hold Meredith accountable for her actions.

There are few hints as to which way the High Court will go. But few will be surprised to hear that at the hearing a few weeks back, Justice Michael Kirby pointed to international law as the guiding light. He cited Article 3 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child and said it means that the starting point in any matter that comes before the court must be determining what is in the best interests of the child.

Up in the rarefied atmosphere of international law, it's a neat sounding slogan. But down in the trenches, trying to apply it to the specifics of a case like this is another matter. Kirby suggests that the "best interests of the child" test applies for the simple reason that this case involves the depletion of family income: were Liam Magill to win, Meredith Magill would be forced to pay. It's a novel argument. Taken to its logical conclusion, it would prevent any legal action against any person who also happens to be a parent. After all, any legal payout drains the family income to the detriment of a child.

Note that Kirby's focus on the best interests of the child did not extend to a child knowing their biological father. Given that adoption laws are now premised on this rationale, one might think it should also apply here.

In any event, the High Court will need to probe a little deeper than the fine sounding but vacuous provisions of international law. And the question is simple: should the law of deceit apply where a mother and wife has deceived a husband into believing he is the father of a child? The court need not mess with the law of deceit. The principles are clear. Only the facts are new because science - DNA testing - is now revealing the deceit.

Those who claim there is a public policy argument in letting sleeping dogs lie assume that preventing litigation of this kind will make for happy families. It will do no such thing. It will only encourage women to perpetrate fraud in an age when science can uncover the truth. And there is no turning science back. Legal disputes over paternity fraud do not create the unhappiness. They are merely the aftermath of mothers deceiving men.

As in every other sphere of life, the only way to encourage responsibility is to make people accountable for their actions. The law has an important role in sending powerful messages capable of shaping behaviour in the future. Far from creating more unhappiness, legal sanctions for paternity fraud will, in the long run, encourage mothers to be honest about paternity.

To read the rest of this article please go to source:

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20876,18928924-32522,00.html

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I've been reading your newsletter every week since 2002, and the Monday morning perspective check is invaluable, I reckon.

 

Well done for keeping this going for so long

 

Even though there's a bit of right wing fundamentalism at times over certain issues, I'm sure that there are many other of us blokes out there who appreciate the work you do, so thanx again

 

Ciao

Chris Maple

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Thanks for the newsletters they keep me going sometimes

 

Cheers

Gary

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

 

It was very inspiring to join

with millions of my fellow Australians

who attend dawn services all
across Australia.

I was thinking about what I could say to you this week.

Would you accept the word of
the 'Abide with Me'

which we sang on the streets
of Port Kembla

At the ANZAC Dawn Service?

 

Abide with me, fast falls the eventide,

The darkness deepens,
Lord with me abide;

When other helpers fail,
and comfort flee,

Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

 

I fear no foe with Thee at hand to bless,

Ills have no weight and
tears no bitterness,

Where is death's sting?

 

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About Us

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement

The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,
please mail your cheque or money order to:
Fatherhood Foundation
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

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