X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 181FFDEB59 for ; Sun, 21 May 2006 08:16:44 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 06237-03 for ; Sun, 21 May 2006 08:16:25 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 150.101.193.82 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=150.101.193.82; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=email.polyglot.com.au; Received: from email.polyglot.com.au (eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [150.101.193.82]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 928F1DEB55 for ; Sun, 21 May 2006 08:16:23 +1000 (EST) Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by email.polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 21 May 2006 08:16:21 +1000 Thread-Topic: The Selfish Joy of Giving Reply-To: Message-ID: <1151f01c67c5b$065cc8d0$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcZ8WwZam5ovhe6qRjGM61gbw1yWzw== From: To: Subject: The Selfish Joy of Giving Date: Sun, 21 May 2006 08:16:21 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_11520_01C67CAE.D808D8D0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2663 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 20 May 2006 22:16:21.0740 (UTC) FILETIME=[065F12C0:01C67C5B] X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_11520_01C67CAE.D808D8D0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick This week I was speaking on the 'power of giving' on local community radio 94.1 FM. Last Thursday was International Compassion Day www.compassion.com.au We have had the privilege, as a family, of sponsoring two Compassion children since 1998. Child sponsorship is only $40 AUD per month. Before that time we were sponsoring another young girl in Africa through another aid organisation since 1988. Many of the children we have sponsored over the years have been fatherless and some have been both fatherless and motherless. Many times their parents have died because of preventable illnesses such as typhoid, HIV or malaria. Many times the death of the father has been due to starvation, war or calamity. Whatever the case, without an involved, responsible and committed father in Africa, it can be a sentence of death for a young child and sometimes also their mother. As John Howard said, "Families are the greatest social service institution ever invented." In Africa, the father is both provider and protector. Why did we choose to give to Compassion and not one of the other aid organisations? That's simple. Compassion does a better job of helping children than anyone else. Their goal to help alleviate the physical, emotional and spiritual poverty of children is realised through an extraordinary network of cost effective church-based volunteers who love the children as their own family. This volunteer based effort drives their dollar further. Compassion's integrity of operation is second-to-none with the highest percentage of money, over seventy cents in the dollar, going directly to benefit the child you support. In January 2005, while our family was on a music-based missions tour in Africa we had the privilege of meeting one of our sponsored children, Dennis Njoroge in Nairobi, Kenya. He came to watch us play our music, and on our day off we took him out to a game park for the day. We bought him a coke and a soccer ball and treated him like he was one of our family. When it was time for him to leave us he began to cry. When we asked him why he was crying, he said that it had been the best day of his life. It wasn't long before we were all crying. Such is the joy of giving. We need no other reason to give than pure selfishness because as Jesus said, 'It is more fun (or blessing) to give than to receive.' This brings me to my next point. The Fatherhood Foundation has been granted full tax deductible status by the Government as a Harm Prevention Charity. This has taken fours years of hard work and pushed to fruition with kind help from many parliamentarians on both sides of the political divide, including our local member Jennie George MP. For this we are most grateful. The challenge that is now before us is to take the Fatherhood Foundation to the next level of growth as a harm prevention charity. The Special Feature this week explains our strategy and plan for the 'next level'. Together we can reverse the trend of fatherlessness in our nation. In Africa, fatherlessness is mostly caused by death, disease or starvation. In Australia and the western world fatherlessness is caused by increasing levels of divorce, the anti-male bias within the family law and government system, irresponsible male behaviour or that men's hearts are not turned towards their children; in other words, the lights are on but no-one is home. Many such men suffer from the father wound themselves. Unless healing comes, 'the wound' is often passed on to the next generation. Loneliness and broken families are some of the many results. Mother Teresa says that the curse of the third world is poverty, but the curse of the western world is loneliness. Fatherlessness has a high cost to our nation. Dr Bruce Robinson, University of Western Australia, estimates the cost to Australia to be $13 billion per annum. But together we can make a difference. If every reader of fathersonline gave 70 cents a day, that is $20 a month, we could take the Fatherhood Foundation to the next level. Our goal is to raise $250,000 by Christmas to help fathers go to the next level. Who are the beneficiaries of such giving? Our children! They deserve the best don't they? Would you like to help us help them? Lovework Teach your children the fun and joy of giving by becoming a giving family. Sponsor a child through Compassion at www.compassion.com.au and at the same time; don't forget the fatherless children here in Australia. See 'Help Us' at the end of this newsletter. Yours for the selfish joy of giving Warwick Marsh ________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads An infallible way to make your child miserable is to satisfy all his demands. Henry Home back to top Laughter Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied. "What's it for?" asked the first boy. "I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it either makes you mad or cry. That's what it does to my Dad and Mom." _____________________________________________ A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people." back to top Single Dads Divorcing Men's Suicide Dear Fatherhood Foundation I writing to you because I think you can help to reduce men suicide. As a consequence of false expectations, lack of understanding of the differences in emotional and cognitive processes between men and women combined with poor relationship education, many marriages end up separating and finally divorcing. Many of the men in these broken marriages end up taking their own lives as stated in the article which is not news to me or my friends involved in helping men with family problems. How can we avoid this terrible outcome? In my view there are steps that can be taken at different points along the existence of the relationship that could prevent it. To start with, pre-marriage education should be that -- education not just the handling of a questionnaire and a short discussion about expectations and values. What is missing here is the education on the differences in problem solving, differences in handling of emotions, differences in reaction to stress, different needs for verbal communication and reassurance, etc. The big problem here is, that feminist ideology considers it heretic and politically incorrect to say that men and women are different. Once the couple is having some conflicts they don't really have any support. Men are shy of asking for advice and reluctant to go to a female counsellor who is going to blame him for all the "crimes" that men have inflicted on women over centuries and makes him feel inept and stupid. If things start to get really bad in the relationship, then usually the woman is advised by many of these men-hating counsellors to get out of the marriage and be liberated! The next advice is to go to a lawyer and prepare for a fight! Of course these lawyers are experts in unearthing all sort of rubbish about the males and in many cases they create bogus cases of domestic violence (anything said or done in the middle of an argument) or, worse, child abuse, to sabotage any possibility of shared parenting. When later on, the man goes to the family court he is confronted by more men-haters staff who block, frustrate, humiliate, harass and mistreat him. Finally the magistrates and the court who are constrained and brain-washed by feminist jurisprudence - the result of the last 30 years - produce outcomes that, combined with the absurd amounts taken from men's income as child support payments, contribute to the depressed, frustrated and angry state of these men who can not see any other solution than to take their own lives. Changes are needed in many areas as hinted above in addition to pre-marriage education. Big counselling organizations like Relationships Australia and Centacare are staffed and controlled by men-hating feminists. The fact is that men form only 10 and even 5% of the counselling staff in most centres. Other related organizations like community mediation and local justice centres are the same. The Social Studies faculties of Social Work and Counselling are equally staffed by feminists that are also in the same business of finding jobs for the girls at Relationship Australia and Centacare. Many people see that the main obstacle for fair shared parenting is that the law is biased against men by creating the possibility of women using child access as a weapon to control and manipulate men. The starting point to solve this, is to make into law that the starting point for shared parenting is 50-50 and then to negotiate from there. The new relationship centres that the federal government is creating is not going to be any help if they are going to be staffed in the same proportions 90% female 10% male - which is most likely - since the organizations favoured in the last tenders are the same ones providing relationships services currently and whose managers are going to select the staff for these new centres. I know of a number of men with good qualifications that have been unable to get employment in these organizations because of a big personal deficit - they are the wrong sex! I am writing to you because I know that you have the influence to promote some changes in many of these areas. Warm regards Paul and Mates May 9, 2006 back to top All you need is Love Sleeping in the Basement Townhall.com May 9, 2006 by Jennifer Roback Morse When you have a reputation as a defender of marriage, you've got to deal with the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. This week, I got an email that was definitely, well, Not Good. "Dear Dr. J, I'm part of a group of 5 men. We all work together; we are all married, with children. Our ages range from 35 to 45. All but one of us sleeps in the basement because our wives don't really want us very badly. The youngest of our group does not yet sleep in the basement but he reports the same frustration that moves all of us there. Sharing a bed with a woman who does not want you is painful. Oh, she wants you to pay the bills and be a father to your children, but she doesn't want you. It's difficult to just leave when you know you've created responsibilities, but it is pretty clear she'd rather you just left. It's entirely possible that all 5 of us are losers, bad lovers and just plain whiners. It's possible, but it's statistically highly improbable. All 5 of us have good jobs; all but one has an advanced degree. We live in pleasant houses in safe neighbourhoods. So pardon us if when we read the phrase 'abandoned their wife' we are more inclined to believe that is was a 'sotto voce ejection'. Mr. No Name." OK Ladies: Can we talk? This is Not Good. Take your pick between Bad and Ugly, but let's be clear. It isn't good for a man to feel his wife doesn't want him sexually. It isn't good for him to feel that he is a combination ATM and Assistant Mom. My husband and I have been there. Not that either of us ended up in the basement. But we have had our share of conflict over sex and intimacy. I can remember many conversations where he was trying hard to explain himself and I was trying hard to listen. He may as well have been speaking a foreign language, which, come to think of it, he was. He was speaking Man-ish. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was really asking me to open my heart to him, and to take this issue seriously. Men and women are very different from each other, and in no area more different than sex. There may be absolutely nothing wrong with either one of you. You are confronting the Great Divide between men and women. If you can bridge that sexual divide, and make marriage work, it is magic. If you can't, the alternatives are lousy: adultery, alienation or divorce. I don't want you to become a divorce statistic. Nor do I want you to make a mockery of marriage by allowing yourself to get comfortable with a situation that is inherently unfair to your husband, yourself, your children, and to marriage itself. Too many women take this route, thinking it is the easy way. But it isn't. Ignoring your husband's sexual needs is the low road, not the high road. I wish I could give you the Three Steps to Marital Bliss, and your husband the Five Secrets to Driving Her Wild. But I can't... I can't even put my finger on exactly what we did that broke the deadlock between us. We muddled through. We didn't give up and we're still muddling through. It would be foolish to presume to tell you in particular, what you should do to get your husband back in the bedroom and your heart, where he belongs. There are ten thousand different ways to do this right. Unfortunately, there are probably fifty thousand ways to do it wrong. If your husband is sleeping in the basement, literally or metaphorically, you're doing it wrong. I would just ask my women readers to do this. Forget your own feelings for a moment. Think about how unhappy your husband must be if he is sleeping in the basement. Take this column to him, and say something like this: "I'm sorry for the pain you must feel over sleeping in the basement. I'm sorry for my part in causing it. I don't know what to do to improve this situation. But I want you to know that I'm committed to trying. It is not OK with me for you to be this unhappy." And ladies, if you can't do this, if it really is OK with you for your husband to be this unhappy, you need a heart transplant. The one you have isn't working. Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D., is the founder and chief visionary of Your Coach for the Culture Wars, a business devoted to supporting organizations that want to preserve their core values and achieve prosperity by taking a stand in the Culture Wars. She is also the author of Love and Economics: Why the Laissez-Faire Family Doesn't Work. http:/ /www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/JennniferRobackMorse/2006/05/09/196664 .html back to top Thought of the Week You are far happier giving than getting Jesus back to top Special Feature Taking the Fatherhood Foundation to the 'Next Level' Part One The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity that is committed to: The promotion of 'excellence in fathering' as a long term strategy, which will reduce harmful and abusive behaviours by educating, equipping and engaging men as fathers and promoting the concept of excellence in fathering across Australia. Promoting excellence in fathering is the answer to turning the tide of fatherlessness which is enveloping Australia and the western world. Fatherlessness, defined as the absence of an active, positive father-influence in the lives of children, has been shown in study after study to contribute to greater rates of poverty, drug abuse, lower educational performance, increased delinquency, increased crime, increased sexual abuse, increased sexual deviancy, increased youth suicide, increased levels of male suicide, increased mental health problems and increasing levels of self harm. The Australian Government has now recognised the Fatherhood Foundation as a registered Harm Prevention Charity by granting Tax Deductible status to it. This means that all gifts of money, or in some cases property, can become a tax saving to the giver. This level of recognition as a Harm Prevention Tax Deductible Charity allows us to help the children of Australia in an even greater way than ever before. In order to further help the children of Australia the Fatherhood Foundation has to go to the next level of development in order to properly resource the fathers of Australia. In order to understand what this 'next level' will look like we have to understand the past four years of growth of the Fatherhood Foundation, it's achievements and modus operandi. History - Fatherhood Foundation - the Last Four Years The Fatherhood Foundation was founded by Warwick and Alison Marsh and the board of Australian Heart Ministries on 1st May 2002. The fundamental goal of the Fatherhood Foundation remains the same: 'to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children' or to quote from The 12pt Plan, 'strengthening and supporting fathers and turning the tide of fatherlessness in Australia'. Over the last four years the Fatherhood Foundation has accomplished the following: * Organised and produced an annual TV campaign to encourage and strengthen fatherhood in Australia in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005. Currently almost 100% of free-to-air TV stations across Australia show the Fatherhood Foundation community service announcements promoting fatherhood. * Organised and produced an annual TV campaign to encourage and strengthen motherhood in 2003 and 2006. * Organised and produced an annual TV campaign 2004, 2005, 2006 to encourage human relationships by saying 'Thank You'. The Fatherhood Foundation is a major sponsor of the National Day of Thanksgiving. (The above campaigns were allocated $5 million dollars of free air time) * Organised and produced an outdoor billboard advertising campaign called, 'Fatherhood leaves an Impression for Life' worth over $150,000. * Organised and convened numerous bipartisan forums/conferences/policy development seminars in federal Parliament House, Canberra. * Fatherhood Forum - 10th February 2003 * National Strategic Conference on Fatherhood - 18th & 19th August 2003 * National Marriage Forum - 4th August 2004 * Marriage Leaders Forum - 20th June 2005 * Fatherhood Forum - 21st June 2005 * Sexual Integrity Forum - 8th & 9th August 2005 * Men's Leaders and consultation on Family Law Reform - 2nd March 2006 * Organised and participated in many other Fatherhood Forums, Sexual Integrity Forums, Men's Policy Development Forums, Success in Fatherhood Seminars, dinners and functions throughout Australia. * Published and produced many groundbreaking publication and research/policy documents: * Facts on Fatherlessness * Twenty-One Reasons Why Marriage Matters * Fathers in Family * Sexual Integrity booklet * Sexual Integrity Highlights DVD * Policy development and consultation with the government on: * Men's suicide * Men's health * Fatherhood * Education * Family Law Reform * Marriage * Work Family Balance * Combating sexual exploitation * Developed the Fatherhood Foundation website as one of the leading fatherhood websites in the world www.fatherhood.org.au * Developed and edited the world's largest, longest running weekly email for fathers, now in it's fourth year of publication. * Organised and developed the 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course for the 21st Century', now in its third year since inception. Over the last four years the Fatherhood Foundation has expended $229,488.45 to achieve well over $6,000,000 worth of development, education and provision of resource material for Australian fathers and families. Put another way, the Fatherhood Foundation is leveraging our contributor's investment in helping children, preventing harm, encouraging positive relationships, resourcing fathers and families at 4% of the cost to a normal government instrumentality. The Fatherhood Foundation is providing to our contributors a wonderful opportunity to drive their giving dollars further. For more information on how to give, please go to the 'Help Us!' section of this newsletter. back to top News & Info PRESS RELEASE FOR NATIONAL DAY OF THANKSGIVING NATION GEARS UP FOR THANKSGIVING In a strong endorsement of the concept, scores of thousands of Australians celebrated last years National Day of Thanksgiving in only its second year. Many hundreds of Federal and State Parliamentarians and Local Government officials, together with many hundreds more from community and voluntary organisations attended some 300 community breakfasts, dinners or morning teas organised in different locations whilst literally thousands of random acts of kindness were initiated by Churches and individuals as the day was celebrated creatively in more than 600 communities across Australia. Churches, communities and individuals are already beginning to gear up for the next National Day of Thanksgiving to be held on Saturday 3rd June, 2006. The National Day of Thanksgiving is designed as a day to be celebrated by all Australians. For some it will be a family day, others will be attracted by the community spirit the day is designed to evoke, whilst formal breakfasts and dinners will allow special appreciation to be expressed to those who contribute unselfishly to making our nation a better place in which to live. People of faith will want to pick up on the theme of "thanking God" for all His goodness and add another dimension to the Day. The National Day of Thanksgiving has already received widespread support. The concept was launched by the Governor General at Government House on 11th February 2004. The Prime Minister has issued a statement of support urging all Australians to celebrate the day in a way they feel comfortable to do. The Leader of the Opposition has also added his support with a public endorsement. The Governor General in launching the day said "What I find most exciting about the Day is that it provides scope for people to celebrate it in a personal, family, church or community-based way. It will offer the chance for people to do many and varied things." Prime Minister John Howard said "I commend the initiative and endorse the powerful notion of thanksgiving that encourages us to recognise the values and people that sustain us as a nation and to be grateful for those precious things we sometimes take for granted." Organisers are confident that they will have more than 220 radio stations committed to being major sponsors of the day in their respective cities and towns across Australia encouraging their communities to "own" the day at the local level. Source: National Day of Thanksgiving National Office National Coordinator - Brian Pickering 02 9876.2419 or 0409 779 870 for all interviews National Office - 07 3343.8242 when Coordinator is not available. Website: www.thanksgiving.org.au __________________________________________ MEDIA RELEASE Communications Minister Ignores the Needs of Australian Mothers and Fathers with Flawed Filtering Proposal "Recent reports in the media that the Government is planning to give individual internet subscribers access to free software to filter internet porn appears commendable but is really another band aid solution to the cancerous spread of internet porn," said Warwick Marsh, convenor of the Sexual Integrity Forum and founder of the Fatherhood Foundation. Mr Marsh continued, "If cancer is found in a person it is cut out, in order to save that human life. You don't put a band aid on it. Internet porn promotes: denigration of women, domestic violence, gender inequality, violence, rape, bestiality and paedophilia. Dr Mary Anne Layden, psychotherapist at University of Pennsylvania, stated at a forum held last year in Parliament House, "I have been treating sexual violence victims and perpetrators for 20 years and I didn't have one case of sexual violence that didn't involve pornography. There has been a dramatic increase in pornography use in recent years with the internet piping it 24/7 into homes, in harder and more pathological forms, in a venue children know better how to use than adults." Warwick Marsh said "The Government's proposal to ask parents to install 'free filters' on their home computers is not the answer. This proposal is like the government pumping both clean water AND sewerage into people's homes, and then providing 'free filters' to rid them of the sewerage. Such a plan would be laughed at by the community. Why not take responsibility for the sewerage, and cut it out in the first place? Australia's mothers and fathers want a clean computer feed line for their children, not only for individual families, but for libraries, business, schools and preschools. Our children deserve the best. Why not give it to them?" The Fatherhood Foundation would like to congratulate Senator Guy Barnett who is conducting a porn internet filtering trial in Tasmania. To their discredit, both Telstra and Optus have refused to take part, an indication that they wish to continue to place profit before the safety of our children. These companies have a zero corporate responsibility outlook and this should be noted by the families of Australia. The Fatherhood Foundation also fully supports Senator Stephen Conroy and the Labor Party's push for a national internet clean feed policy. How much longer must our children wait? For further comment: Warwick Marsh 0418 225 212 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THE WESTERN SYDNEY MEN & FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS NETWORK WORKING WITH FATHERS ...TEN YEARS ON A day of training & reflection for organisations & individuals working with men Topics for the day will include: # Where have we come from & where are we heading? # Engaging men in community programs # Developing co-operative responses in working with separated fathers # Changes in family law # Hypothetical - Working with fathers in 2016 Phone 02 9832 2300 or Email: fathers@anglicare.org.au by 19th June 2006 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * On Saturday the 24 of June 2006 from 8.45 am to 4.00 pm, Professor Freda Briggs is holding a Seminar at the Western Suburb Leagues Club Function Room B 88 Hobart Rd New Lambton NSW Freda Briggs will talk about issues relating to 'Protection of Boys from Sexual Abuse' 'Dads making a Difference' will be addressed by Craig Darcy. For more information: rhfinc@airnet.com.au * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation Firstly, thanks for the newsletters and more importantly the work you guys are doing in the community/nation! May God continue to bless your work. About the monetary value of a mother's work - it's interesting that I also pondered about that a while ago. I wondered, "What salary would my wife draw doing the work she does as a full time stay at home mother?" My conclusion was, given that raising children is arguably the most important job in the world, it would be difficult to estimate a mother's worth, suffice to say that I believe it would be more than any corporate CEO. Apart from being on the job 24x7, the impact of her work is HUGE - namely the influence of our children as members of tomorrow's society. Anyway, I quickly laid my "salary-analysis" to rest after realising that there was no way in the world I could afford to "pay" my wife! I know that I have an unbelievable bargain! Kind Regards Alex Chan * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Poem from Jason for Mother's Day, an annual event in the Cooper household. Wake her up it's time for breakfast! Dads in the kitchen God please protect us! Roll her over, poke her eyes! Shout about our sweet surprise! YO HO HO and a hug for Mum Five pairs of feet on a clean white sheet YO HO HO and a hug for Mum Mum! God bless your precious heart Look! We made an eggshell tart! Avocado pancakes, Rolled up snug! A coffee and a tea, And they?re in the same mug! YO HO HO and a hug for Mum Five pairs of feet on a clean white sheet YO HO HO and a hug for Mum So much that Mum does for us, So once a year We make a fuss, Mum you truly are the best, Get up! Get dressed! And clean our mess! (Of course this last part said in jest!) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation I am a disabled father. I have 4 children and I am divorced because of the disability. My question is this, the state of Colorado, USA feels that a dad is a man, and doesn't need to bring the children up, even if he is not working, but the mother is a woman and she needs to raise the kids, even if she is working and palms the children of to a babysitter. I read a book a few years ago about fathers in divorce, but I can not find the book right now, and I need to find a lawyer that will help me win the kids over to a stable environment. Do you have any ideas or suggestions, or is this the group that produced the book I read? Thank you for your time. Donald Bole, SSgt, USAF (RET) Blessings 4 Vets retiree@4thefam.net Remember...Freedom IS NOT free, ALL military personnel and their families pay some, some pay all...remember our POW's, MIA's, KIA's, WIA's, and our disabled veterans?we need your help. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation I am writing to you today to share with you a little experience that I have recently had with my daughter. However before I do I will explain my philosophy on children. Personally I see children as a gift, not a chattel or a resource, but a blessing that has been afforded to me. Being just a father is not good enough, no, my aim was to be an exceptional father. I have always maintained that to have a good relationship with your children then you must start to get to know them when they are young, allow them to express their ideas and opinions (even if they are different from your own) and guide them in the way that you want them to go. So that when they need you and want to come to you for advice that there is a past history of mutual understanding and respect that has been developed over the past years and they feel comfortable in talking to you about their problems and issues. The story that I will tell you is an example of daughters and communication. Let me tell you a little about my daughter. She is 15, has her mother's grace, poise and hair and is currently going through the stage where things have to be experienced rather than believe the admonition of others, particularly her parents. This I am informed by my wife is quite normal. A few weeks ago the daughter in question went to a friend's place for a sleep over. I am personally acquainted with the friend and her family and I was happy for this to occur. On her return, my daughter seemed as if something was weighing on her mind and she did not seem herself. So I asked her in the typical male fashion what was wrong. She told me that whist at her friend's house she and her friends had tried smoking. They had obtained the cigarettes from some of the other kids at school who smoke and had had a crack at this smoking phenomenon. As you can imagine I was aghast at this latest revelation, however I thought that this was not the time to blow my top and react out of fear, it was the time to calmly approach the situation and ask her of her opinions and thoughts on what had transpired. She told me that it was disgusting (which I was relieved to hear) and that she didn't know what all the hype was about. I then explained to her the medical problems that can occur and what I see in my profession as a paramedic that is caused by smoking. I also said to her that she was silly to go to the people at school and ask for cigarettes because now all the people at the school will think that she and her friends are smokers and will turn into drug users. She said to me that this had happened and there were rumours flying that they were all the latest recruits to the smoking brigade, which she found hard to deal with. I told her that this would go away soon and would only remain a nine day wonder. She then went away more informed and happier that we had talked about this problem. I went away and took several very deep breaths, happy in the knowledge that my daughter trusts me and realising that she is a gift who must make her own way through life and I am only a guide and fearful that I cannot protect her from all the evils of this world. My communication with my daughter, in this instance, was based on actions not personality. It was also based on consequential learning whereby every action has a reaction and she has learned this in a small way with dealing what the other people at school see her and say about her now. Being a father is not easy but I find it exceptionally rewarding especially in cases like this. Hope this helps in some small way. Regards Steve * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation To all of you that helped with my research, You may remember some time ago I contacted you asking for help with my research on fathers which was looking at postnatal distress via the internet. I have now collected all my data and am in the process of writing the results up. I will be happy to disseminate findings and discuss these further with anyone who is interested. Just to say a big thank you as without your help i would not have been able to do this research. In total 308 dads participated in the research which is great. The website is now closed and will not be able take any further participants. If you have any further questions/comments please do not hesitate to contact me via this email address. Best wishes Catherine study200@hotmail.co.uk back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God You have said that we are far happier giving than getting. I know it's true - Just don't let me forget it. I have a memory like a sieve and for some reason I am always thinking about I, me and my (selfishness?) Do you think you could do a brain transplant and help me think more about others? What did you say? Was that, "I only do heart transplants"? Well OK, I'll settle for one of those instead. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving. That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. Life is also about relationships. That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_11520_01C67CAE.D808D8D0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 182 - 20th February,2006 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

This week I was speaking on the 'power of giving' on local community radio 94.1 FM. Last Thursday was International Compassion Day www.compassion.com.au  We have had the privilege, as a family, of sponsoring two Compassion children since 1998. Child sponsorship is only $40 AUD per month. Before that time we were sponsoring another young girl in Africa through another aid organisation since 1988. Many of the children we have sponsored over the years have been fatherless and some have been both fatherless and motherless. Many times their parents have died because of preventable illnesses such as typhoid, HIV or malaria. Many times the death of the father has been due to starvation, war or calamity. Whatever the case, with out an involved, responsible and committed father in Africa, it can be a sentence of death for a young child and sometimes also their mother. As John Howard said, "Families are the greatest social service institution ever invented." In Africa, the father is both provider and protector.

 

Why did we choose to give to Compassion and not one of the other aid organisations? That's simple. Compassion does a better job of helping children than anyone else. Their goal to help alleviate the physical, emotional and spiritual poverty of children is realised through an extraordinary network of cost effective church-based volunteers who love the children as their own family. This volunteer based effort drives their dollar further. Compassion's integrity of operation is second-to-none with the highest percentage of money, over seventy cents in the dollar, going directly to benefit the child you support.

 

In January 2005, while our family was on a music-based missions tour in Africa we had the privilege of meeting one of our sponsored children, Dennis Njoroge in Nairobi, Kenya. He came to watch us play our music, and on our day off we took him out to a game park for the day. We bought him a coke and a soccer ball and treated him like he was one of our family. When it was time for him to leave us he began to cry. When we asked him why he was crying, he said that it had been the best day of his life. It wasn't long before we were all crying. Such is the joy of giving. We need no other reason to give than pure selfishness because as Jesus said, 'It is more fun (or blessing) to give than to receive.'

 

This brings me to my next point. The Fatherhood Foundation has been granted full tax deductible status by the Government as a Harm Prevention Charity. This has taken fours years of hard work and pushed to fruition with kind help from many parliamentarians on both sides of the political divide, including our local member Jennie George MP. For this we are most grateful. The challenge that is now before us is to take the Fatherhood Foundation to the next level of growth as a harm prevention charity. The Special Feature this week explains our strategy and plan for the 'next level'. Together we can reverse the trend of fatherlessness in our nation.

 

In Africa, fatherlessness is mostly caused by death, disease or starvation. In Australia and the western world fatherlessness is caused by increasing levels of divorce, the anti-male bias within the family law and government system, irresponsible male behaviour or that men's hearts are not turned towards their children; in other words, the lights are on but no-one is home. Many such men suffer from the father wound themselves. Unless healing comes, 'the wound' is often passed on to the next generation. Loneliness and broken families are some of the many results. Mother Teresa says that the curse of the third world is poverty, but the curse of the western world is loneliness. Fatherlessness has a high cost to our nation. Dr Bruce Robinson, University of Western Australia, estimates the cost to Australia to be $13 billion per annum. But together we can make a difference.

 

If every reader of fathersonline gave 70 cents a day, that is $20 a month, we could take the Fatherhood Foundation to the next level. Our goal is to raise $250,000 by Christmas to help fathers go to the next level. 

 

Who are the beneficiaries of such giving? Our children!

They deserve the best don't they? Would you like to help us help them?

 

Lovework

 

Teach your children the fun and joy of giving by becoming a giving family. Sponsor a child through Compassion at www.compassion.com.au  and at the same time; don't forget the fatherless children here in Australia. See 'Help Us' at the end of this newsletter.

 

Yours for the selfish joy of giving

Warwick Marsh

________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in
age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician,
songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he
can still laugh at himself.

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Grandads

 

                  

An infallible way to make your child miserable

is to satisfy all his demands.

 

Henry Home

 

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Laughter

            

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store.

"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.

"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.

"What's it for?" asked the first boy.

"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it either makes you mad or cry. That's what it does to my Dad and Mom."

_____________________________________________

A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.

"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people."

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Single Dads

 

Divorcing Men's Suicide

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I writing to you because I think you can help to reduce men suicide.

 

As a consequence of false expectations, lack of understanding of the differences in emotional and cognitive processes between men and women combined with poor relationship education, many marriages end up separating and finally divorcing.

 

Many of the men in these broken marriages end up taking their own lives as stated in the article which is not news to me or my friends involved in helping men with family problems.

How can we avoid this terrible outcome?

In my view there are steps that can be taken at different points along the existence of the relationship that could prevent it.

 

To start with, pre-marriage education should be that -- education not just the handling of a questionnaire and a short discussion about expectations and values. What is missing here is the education on the differences in problem solving, differences in handling of emotions, differences in reaction to stress, different needs for verbal communication and reassurance, etc. The big problem here is, that feminist ideology considers it heretic and politically incorrect to say that men and women are different.

 

Once the couple is having some conflicts they don't really have any support. Men are shy of asking for advice and reluctant to go to a female counsellor who is going to blame him for all the "crimes" that men have inflicted on women over centuries and makes him feel inept and stupid.

 

If things start to get really bad in the relationship, then usually the woman is advised by many of these men-hating counsellors to get out of the marriage and be liberated!

 

The next advice is to go to a lawyer and prepare for a fight! Of course these lawyers are experts in unearthing all sort of rubbish about the males and in many cases they create bogus cases of domestic violence (anything said or done in the middle of an argument) or, worse, child abuse, to sabotage any possibility of shared parenting.

 

When later on, the man goes to the family court he is confronted by more men-haters staff who block, frustrate, humiliate, harass and mistreat him.

 

Finally the magistrates and the court who are constrained and brain-washed by feminist jurisprudence - the result of  the last 30 years - produce outcomes that, combined with the absurd amounts taken from men's income as child support payments, contribute to the depressed, frustrated and angry state of these men who can not see any other solution than to take their own lives.

 

Changes are needed in many areas as hinted above in addition to pre-marriage education.

Big counselling organizations like Relationships Australia and Centacare are staffed and controlled by men-hating feminists. The fact is that men form only 10 and even 5% of the counselling staff in most centres. Other related organizations like community mediation and local justice centres are the same.

 

The Social Studies faculties of Social Work and Counselling are equally staffed by feminists that are also in the same business of finding jobs for the girls at Relationship Australia and Centacare.

 

Many people see that the main obstacle for fair shared parenting is that the law is biased against men by creating the possibility of women using child access as a weapon to control and manipulate men.  The starting point to solve this, is to make into law that the starting point for shared parenting is 50-50 and then to negotiate from there.

 

The new relationship centres that the federal government is creating is not going to be any help if they are going to be staffed in the same proportions 90% female 10% male - which is most likely - since the organizations favoured in the last tenders are the same ones providing relationships services currently and whose managers are going to select the staff for these new centres.

I know of a number of men with good qualifications that have been unable to get employment in these organizations because of a big personal deficit - they are the wrong sex!

 

I am writing to you because I know that you have the influence to promote some changes in many of these areas.

 

Warm regards

Paul and Mates

May 9, 2006

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All you need is Love

 

Sleeping in the Basement

Townhall.com  

May 9, 2006

by Jennifer Roback Morse

 

When you have a reputation as a defender of marriage, you've got to deal with the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. This week, I got an email that was definitely, well, Not Good.

 

"Dear Dr. J,

 

I'm part of a group of 5 men. We all work together; we are all married, with children. Our ages range from 35 to 45. All but one of us sleeps in the basement because our wives don't really want us very badly. The youngest of our group does not yet sleep in the basement but he reports the same frustration that moves all of us there. Sharing a bed with a woman who

does not want you is painful.

 

Oh, she wants you to pay the bills and be a father to your children, but she doesn't want you. It's difficult to just leave when you know you've created responsibilities, but it is pretty clear she'd rather you just left.

 

It's entirely possible that all 5 of us are losers, bad lovers and just plain whiners. It's possible, but it's statistically highly improbable. All 5 of us have good jobs; all but one has an advanced degree. We live in pleasant houses in safe neighbourhoods.

 

So pardon us if when we read the phrase 'abandoned their wife' we are more inclined to believe that is was a 'sotto voce ejection'.

 

Mr. No Name."

 

OK Ladies: Can we talk?

 

This is Not Good. Take your pick between Bad and Ugly, but let's be clear. It isn't good for a man to feel his wife doesn't want him sexually. It isn't good for him to feel that he is a combination ATM and Assistant Mom.

 

My husband and I have been there. Not that either of us ended up in the basement. But we have had our share of conflict over sex and intimacy. I can remember many conversations where he was trying hard to explain himself and I was trying hard to listen. He may as well have been speaking a foreign language, which, come to think of it, he was. He was speaking Man-ish.

 

I had no idea what he was talking about.

 

He was really asking me to open my heart to him, and to take this issue seriously.

 

Men and women are very different from each other, and in no area more different than sex. There may be absolutely nothing wrong with either one of you. You are confronting the Great Divide between men and women.  If you can bridge that sexual divide, and make marriage work, it is magic. If you can't, the alternatives are lousy: adultery, alienation or divorce.

 

I don't want you to become a divorce statistic. Nor do I want you to make a mockery of marriage by allowing yourself to get comfortable with a situation that is inherently unfair to your husband, yourself, your children, and to marriage itself. Too many women take this route, thinking it is the easy way. But it isn't. Ignoring your husband's sexual needs is the low road, not the high road.

 

I wish I could give you the Three Steps to Marital Bliss, and your husband the Five Secrets to Driving Her Wild. But I can't... I can't even put my finger on exactly what we did that broke the deadlock between us.  We muddled through. We didn't give up and we're still muddling through. It would be foolish to presume to tell you in particular, what you should do to get your husband back in the bedroom and your heart, where he belongs. There are ten thousand different ways to do this right.

 

Unfortunately, there are probably fifty thousand ways to do it wrong. If your husband is sleeping in the basement, literally or metaphorically, you're doing it wrong.

 

I would just ask my women readers to do this. Forget your own feelings for a moment. Think about how unhappy your husband must be if he is sleeping in the basement. Take this column to him, and say something like this:

 

"I'm sorry for the pain you must feel over sleeping in the basement. I'm sorry for my part in causing it. I don't know what to do to improve this situation. But I want you to know that I'm committed to trying.  It is not OK with me for you to be this unhappy."

 

And ladies, if you can't do this, if it really is OK with you for your husband to be this unhappy, you need a heart transplant. The one you have isn't working.

 

Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D., is the founder and chief visionary of Your Coach for the Culture Wars, a business devoted to supporting organizations that want to preserve their core values and achieve prosperity by taking a stand in the Culture Wars.  She is also the author of Love and Economics: Why the Laissez-Faire Family Doesn't Work.

 

 http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/JennniferRobackMorse/2006/05/09/196664.html

     

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Thought of the Week

   

 

You are far happier giving than getting

 

Jesus

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Special Feature

Taking the Fatherhood Foundation to the 'Next Level'

Part One

 

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity that is committed to:

The promotion of 'excellence in fathering' as a long term strategy, which will reduce harmful and abusive behaviours by educating, equipping and engaging men as fathers and promoting the concept of excellence in fathering across Australia.

 

Promoting excellence in fathering is the answer to turning the tide of fatherlessness which is enveloping Australia and the western world. Fatherlessness, defined as the absence of an active, positive father-influence in the lives of children, has been shown in study after study to contribute to greater rates of poverty, drug abuse, lower educational performance, increased delinquency, increased crime, increased sexual abuse, increased sexual deviancy, increased youth suicide, increased levels of male suicide, increased mental health problems and increasing levels of self harm.

 

The Australian Government has now recognised the Fatherhood Foundation as a registered Harm Prevention Charity by granting Tax Deductible status to it.  This means that all gifts of money, or in some cases property, can become a tax saving to the giver.  This level of recognition as a Harm Prevention Tax Deductible Charity allows us to help the children of Australia in an even greater way than ever before.

 

In order to further help the children of Australia the Fatherhood Foundation has to go to the next level of development in order to properly resource the fathers of Australia.

 

In order to understand what this 'next level' will look like we have to understand the past four years of growth of the Fatherhood Foundation, it's achievements and modus operandi.

 

History - Fatherhood Foundation - the Last Four Years

 

The Fatherhood Foundation was founded by Warwick and Alison Marsh and the board of Australian Heart Ministries on 1st May 2002.  The fundamental goal of the Fatherhood Foundation remains the same: 'to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children' or to quote from The 12pt Plan, 'strengthening and supporting fathers and turning the tide of fatherlessness in Australia'. Over the last four years the Fatherhood Foundation has accomplished the following:

*  Organised and produced an annual TV campaign to encourage and strengthen fatherhood in Australia in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005.  Currently almost 100% of free-to-air TV stations across Australia show the Fatherhood Foundation community service announcements promoting fatherhood.

*  Organised and produced an annual TV campaign to encourage and strengthen motherhood in 2003 and 2006.

*  Organised and produced an annual TV campaign 2004, 2005, 2006 to encourage human relationships by saying 'Thank You'.  The Fatherhood Foundation is a major sponsor of the National Day of Thanksgiving.

(The above campaigns were allocated $5 million dollars of free air time)

*  Organised and produced an outdoor billboard advertising campaign called, 'Fatherhood leaves an Impression for Life' worth over $150,000.

*  Organised and convened numerous bipartisan forums/conferences/policy development seminars in federal Parliament House, Canberra.

*  Fatherhood Forum - 10th February 2003

*  National Strategic Conference on Fatherhood - 18th & 19th August 2003

*  National Marriage Forum - 4th August 2004

*  Marriage Leaders Forum - 20th June 2005

*  Fatherhood Forum - 21st June 2005

*  Sexual Integrity Forum - 8th & 9th August 2005

*  Men's Leaders and consultation on Family Law Reform - 2nd March 2006

*  Organised and participated in many other Fatherhood Forums, Sexual Integrity Forums, Men's Policy Development Forums, Success in Fatherhood Seminars, dinners and functions throughout Australia.

*  Published and produced many groundbreaking publication and research/policy documents:

*     Facts on Fatherlessness

*     Twenty-One Reasons Why Marriage Matters

*      Fathers in Family

*     Sexual Integrity booklet

*     Sexual Integrity Highlights DVD

*     Policy development and consultation with the government on:

*     Men's suicide

*     Men's health

*     Fatherhood

*     Education

*     Family Law Reform

*     Marriage

*     Work Family Balance

*      Combating sexual exploitation

*     Developed the Fatherhood Foundation website as one of the leading fatherhood websites in the world www.fatherhood.org.au

*     Developed and edited the world's largest, longest running weekly email for fathers, now in it's fourth year of publication.

*     Organised and developed the 'Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course for the 21st Century', now in its third year since inception.

 

Over the last four years the Fatherhood Foundation has expended $229,488.45 to achieve well over $6,000,000 worth of development, education and provision of resource material for Australian fathers and families.  Put another way, the Fatherhood Foundation is leveraging our contributor's investment in helping children, preventing harm, encouraging positive relationships, resourcing fathers and families at 4% of the cost to a normal government instrumentality.

 

The Fatherhood Foundation is providing to our contributors a wonderful opportunity to drive their giving dollars further.

 

For more information on how to give, please go to the 'Help Us!' section of this newsletter.

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News & Info

PRESS RELEASE FOR NATIONAL DAY OF THANKSGIVING

 

 

NATION GEARS UP FOR THANKSGIVING 

 

In a strong endorsement of the concept, scores of thousands of Australians celebrated last years National Day of Thanksgiving in only its second year. Many hundreds of Federal and State Parliamentarians and Local Government officials, together with many hundreds more from community and voluntary organisations attended some 300 community breakfasts, dinners or morning teas organised in different locations whilst literally thousands of random acts of kindness were initiated by Churches and individuals as the day was celebrated creatively in more than 600 communities across Australia.

 

Churches, communities and individuals are already beginning to gear up for the next National Day of Thanksgiving to be held on Saturday 3rd June, 2006. The National Day of Thanksgiving is designed as a day to be celebrated by all Australians. For some it will be a family day, others will be attracted by the community spirit the day is designed to evoke, whilst formal breakfasts and dinners will allow special appreciation to be expressed to those who contribute unselfishly to making our nation a better place in which to live. People of faith will want to pick up on the theme of "thanking God" for all His goodness and add another dimension to the Day.

 

The National Day of Thanksgiving has already received widespread support. The concept was launched by the Governor General at Government House on 11th February 2004. The Prime Minister has issued a statement of support urging all Australians to celebrate the day in a way they feel comfortable to do. The Leader of the Opposition has also added his support with a public endorsement.

 

The Governor General in launching the day said "What I find most exciting about the Day is that it provides scope for people to celebrate it in a personal, family, church or community-based way. It will offer the chance for people to do many and varied things."

Prime Minister John Howard said "I commend the initiative and endorse the powerful notion of thanksgiving that encourages us to recognise the values and people that sustain us as a nation and to be grateful for those precious things we sometimes take for granted."

 

Organisers are confident that they will have more than 220 radio stations committed to being major sponsors of the day in their respective cities and towns across Australia encouraging their communities to "own" the day at the local level.

 

Source: National Day of Thanksgiving National Office

National Coordinator - Brian Pickering 02 9876.2419 or 0409 779 870 for all interviews National Office - 07 3343.8242 when Coordinator is not available.

Website: www.thanksgiving.org.au 

 

__________________________________________

 

MEDIA  RELEASE

 

Communications Minister Ignores the Needs of Australian Mothers and Fathers  with Flawed Filtering Proposal

 

"Recent reports in the media that the Government is planning to give individual internet subscribers access to free software to filter internet porn appears commendable but is really another band aid solution to the cancerous spread of internet porn," said Warwick Marsh, convenor of the Sexual Integrity Forum and founder of the Fatherhood Foundation.

 

Mr Marsh continued, "If cancer is found in a person it is cut out, in order to save that human life. You don't put a band aid on it. Internet porn promotes: denigration of women, domestic violence, gender inequality, violence, rape, bestiality and paedophilia.  Dr Mary Anne Layden, psychotherapist at University of Pennsylvania, stated at a forum held last year in Parliament House, "I have been treating sexual violence victims and perpetrators for 20 years and I didn't have one case of sexual violence that didn't involve pornography.  There has been a dramatic increase in pornography use in recent years with the internet piping it 24/7 into homes, in harder and more p athological forms, in a venue children know better how to use than adults."

 

Warwick Marsh said "The Government's proposal to ask parents to install 'free filters' on their home computers is not the answer.  This proposal is like the government pumping both clean water AND sewerage into people's homes, and then providing 'free filters' to rid them of the sewerage.  Such a plan would be laughed at by the community.  Why not take responsibility for the sewerage, and cut it out in the first place?  Australia's mothers and fathers want a clean computer feed line for their children, not only for individual families, but for libraries, business, schools and preschools.  Our children deserve the best.  Why not give it to them?"

 

The Fatherhood Foundation would like to congratulate Senator Guy Barnett who is conducting a porn internet filtering trial in Tasmania.  To their discredit, both Telstra and Optus have refused to take part, an indication that they wish to continue to place profit before the safety of our children.  These companies have a zero corporate responsibility outlook and this should be noted by the families of Australia. 

 

The Fatherhood Foundation also fully supports Senator Stephen Conroy and the Labor Party's push for a national internet clean feed policy. How much longer must our children wait?

 

For further comment:

Warwick Marsh 0418 225 212

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

THE WESTERN SYDNEY MEN & FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS NETWORK

WORKING WITH FATHERS ...TEN YEARS ON

 

A day of training & reflection for organisations & individuals working with men

 

Topics for the day will include:

#      Where have we come from & where are we heading?

#      Engaging men in community programs

#      Developing co-operative responses in working with separated fathers

#      Changes in family law

#      Hypothetical - Working with fathers in 2016

Phone 02 9832 2300 or

Email: fathers@anglicare.org.au  by 19th June 2006

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

On Saturday the 24 of June 2006 from 8.45 am to 4.00 pm,

Professor Freda Briggs is holding a Seminar at the

 

Western Suburb Leagues Club

Function Room B

88 Hobart Rd

New Lambton NSW

 

Freda Briggs will talk about issues relating to

'Protection of Boys from Sexual Abuse'

 

'Dads making a Difference' will be addressed by Craig Darcy.

For more information:

rhfinc@airnet.com.au

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

Firstly, thanks for the newsletters and more importantly the work you guys are doing in the community/nation! May God continue to bless your work.

 

About the monetary value of a mother's work - it's interesting that I also pondered about that a while ago. I wondered, "What salary would my wife draw doing the work she does as a full time stay at home mother?" My conclusion was, given that raising children is arguably the most important job in the world, it would be difficult to estimate a mother's worth, suffice to say that I believe it would be more than any corporate CEO. Apart from being on the job 24x7, the impact of her work is HUGE - namely the influence of our children as members of tomorrow's society.

 

Anyway, I quickly laid my "salary-analysis" to rest after realising that there was no way in the world I could afford to "pay" my wife! I know that I have an unbelievable bargain!

 

Kind Regards

Alex Chan

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Poem from Jason for Mother's Day, an annual event in the Cooper household.

 

Wake her up

it's time for breakfast!

Dads in the kitchen

God please protect us!

 

Roll her over,

poke her eyes!

Shout about

our sweet surprise!

 

YO HO HO and a hug for Mum

Five pairs of feet

on a clean white sheet

YO HO HO and a hug for Mum

 

Mum!

God bless your precious heart

Look!

We made an eggshell tart!

 

Avocado pancakes,

Rolled up snug!

A coffee and a tea,

And they?re in the same mug!

 

YO HO HO and a hug for Mum

Five pairs of feet

on a clean white sheet

YO HO HO and a hug for Mum

 

So much that

Mum does for us,

So once a year

We make a fuss,

 

Mum you truly are the best,

Get up!

Get dressed!

And clean our mess!

(Of course this last part said in jest!)

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I am a disabled father. I have 4 children and I am divorced because of the disability. My question is this, the state of Colorado, USA feels that a dad is a man, and doesn't need to bring the children up, even if he is not working, but the mother is a woman and she needs to raise the kids, even if she is working and palms the children of to a babysitter. I read a book a few years ago about fathers in divorce, but I can not find the book right now, and I need to find a lawyer that will help me win the kids over to a stable environment. Do you have any ideas or suggestions, or is this the group that produced the book I read?

Thank you for your time.

 

Donald Bole, SSgt, USAF (RET)

Blessings 4 Vets

retiree@4thefam.net  

Remember...Freedom IS NOT free, ALL military personnel and their families pay some, some pay all...remember our POW's, MIA's, KIA's, WIA's, and our disabled veterans?we need your help.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

I am writing to you today to share with you a little experience that I have recently had with my daughter.  However before I do I will explain my philosophy on children.  Personally I see children as a gift, not a chattel or a resource, but a blessing that has been afforded to me. 

 

Being just a father is not good enough, no, my aim was to be an exceptional father.  I have always maintained that to have a good relationship with your children then you must start to get to know them when they are young, allow them to express their ideas and opinions (even if they are different from your own) and guide them in the way that you want them to go.  So that when they need you and want to come to you for advice that there is a past history of mutual understanding and respect that has been developed over the past years and they feel comfortable in talking to you about their problems and issues.  The story that I will tell you is an example of daughters and communication.

 

Let me tell you a little about my daughter.  She is 15, has her mother's grace, poise and hair and is currently going through the stage where things have to be experienced rather than believe the admonition of others, particularly her parents.  This I am informed by my wife is quite normal.

 

A few weeks ago the daughter in question went to a friend's place for a sleep over.  I am personally acquainted with the friend and her family and I was happy for this to occur.  On her return, my daughter seemed as if something was weighing on her mind and she did not seem herself.  So I asked her in the typical male fashion what was wrong.  She told me that whist at her friend's house she and her friends had tried smoking.  They had obtained the cigarettes from some of the other kids at school who smoke and had had a crack at this smoking phenomenon.  As you can imagine I was aghast at this latest revelation, however I thought that this was not the time to blow my top and react out of fear, it was the time to calmly approach the situation and ask her of her opinions and thoughts on what had transpired.  She told me that it was disgusting (which I was relieved to hear) and that she didn't know what all the hype was about.  I then explained to her the medical problems that can occur and what I see in my profession as a paramedic that is caused by smoking. I also said to her that she was silly to go to the people at school and ask for cigarettes because now all the people at the school will think that  she and her friends are smokers and will turn into drug users.  She said to me that this had happened and there were rumours flying that they were all the latest recruits to the smoking brigade, which she found hard to d eal with. I told her that this would go away soon and would only remain a nine day wonder.   She then went away more informed and happier that we had talked about this problem. 

 

I went away and took several very deep breaths, happy in the knowledge that my daughter trusts me and realising that she is a gift who must make her own way through life and I am only a guide and fearful that I cannot protect her from all the evils of this world.

 

My communication with my daughter, in this instance, was based on actions not personality.  It was also based on consequential learning whereby every action has a reaction and she has learned this in a small way with dealing what the other people at school see her and say about her now.

 

Being a father is not easy but I find it exceptionally rewarding especially in cases like this.  Hope this helps in some small way.

 

Regards

 Steve

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

To all of you that helped with my research,

 

You may remember some time ago I contacted you asking for help with my research on fathers which was looking at postnatal distress via the internet. I have now collected all my data and am in the process of writing the results up. I will be happy to disseminate findings and discuss these further with anyone who is interested.

 

Just to say a big thank you as without your help i would not have been able to do this research. In total 308 dads participated in the research which is great.

 

The website is now closed and will not be able take any further  participants.

 

If you have any further questions/comments please do not hesitate to contact me via this email address.

 

Best wishes

Catherine

study200@hotmail.co.uk  

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

 

You have said that we are

far happier giving than getting.

I know it's true -

Just don't let me forget it.

I have a memory like a sieve

and for some reason

I am always thinking about I, me and my (selfishness?)

Do you think you could do a brain transplant

and help me think more about others?

 

What did you say?

Was that, "I only do heart transplants"?

Well OK, I'll settle for one of those instead.

 

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Help Us

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The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source of harm.
The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.
 
The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation. 
Life is also about relationships. 
That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.
 
If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:
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Or mail cheque and address details to:
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AUSTRALIA
 
The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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