X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 909D93FA9B for ; Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:51:17 +1100 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 02470-04 for ; Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:51:02 +1100 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 203.16.214.140 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=203.16.214.140; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=ipmail01.adl2.internode.on.net; Received: from ipmail01.adl2.internode.on.net (ipmail01.adl2.internode.on.net [203.16.214.140]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 77C493FA15 for ; Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:51:01 +1100 (EST) Received: from eth5890.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net (HELO polyglot.com.au) ([59.167.240.1]) by ipmail01.adl2.internode.on.net with ESMTP; 31 Dec 2006 08:20:59 +1030 X-IronPort-AV: i="4.12,222,1165152600"; d="scan'208,217"; a="67796882:sNHT118200425" Received: from server ([192.168.1.10]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:50:42 +1100 Thread-Topic: Listening to your Heart Reply-To: Message-ID: thread-index: AccsXI1XdQkjVdsMSMC4676NFXZ7QQ== From: To: Subject: Listening to your Heart Date: Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:50:42 +1100 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_E0CB_01C72CB8.C0CA3370" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2826 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 30 Dec 2006 21:50:42.0359 (UTC) FILETIME=[8D5C2C70:01C72C5C] X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: SMEX-7.2.0.1122-3.6.1039-14904.000 X-TM-AS-Result: No-2.773700-5.000000-2 X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (2136 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 7547 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_E0CB_01C72CB8.C0CA3370 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 228 - 1st January, 2007 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick =20 Just as today is the first day of the rest of your life, so is the New Year 2007 the first year of the rest of your life. Why not make it the best year? =20 What do I mean by 'the best'? Well, make it what you want it to be. There are three types of people in the world. Those who 'make' things happen, those who 'watch' things happen and those who say 'what happened?'. A good father is one who makes things happen, but they have to be the 'right' things. =20 Therefore the question before us today is, "How do we make the right things happen for our families and ourselves in 2007, and make sure that at the end of the year, we are not scratching our heads and thinking, 'What happened in 2007 ?" =20 We are all captains of a ship, charting a course across the sea of life. As fathers, this captaincy contains even more responsibility, as we are responsible for our families. It is all the more critical that we chart the right course. How do you chart the right course? =20 Firstly you must reach down deep inside. In the proverbs it says, 'Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of your heart flow the issues of life.' Steve Biddulph, author of 'Stories of Manhood', which is a collection of short stories which are 'journeys into the hidden hearts of men' says, "We have four essential aspects to our being - work, family, community and spirit. Neglect any one of these and you will fall over in the slightest breeze." =20 Last week we talked about planning your life and the need to establish what are the really important goals in your life and making sure that they are the first in place, not the last. If we don't establish the really important things first, we will get swamped with the trivia and busyness of life and never do the things we really want to do. The important goals we listed are: 1) Spiritual Goals 2) Relationship Goals 3) Integrity & Character Goals 4) Financial Goals =20 5) Self & Self-Development Goals =20 How do we decide what is really important? We must first acknowledge that we are spiritual beings and therefore develop spiritual goals for our life. Sting writes in one of his songs, "We are spirits in a material world'. Jesus said, 'Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you besides'. Strongly related to our spiritual goals are our integrity / character goals. The hardest thing to be is completely honest with ourselves. I find myself lying to myself all the time. Hence the famous words of advice by William Shakespeare to Hamlet, "To thing own self be true and as night follows day you can be false to no man." =20 =20 That is why we must reach down deep inside our hearts and pursue what makes our heart sing in a spirit of integrity. Thieves and murderers have goals too. The key thing is to have the right goals. The right goals come from having a right heart. That is why prayer and mediation are so important. We must still ourselves in the busyness of life to hear the voice of our father in heaven, because only then do we know the truth and of course it is only the truth that can set you free. =20 Lovework =20 Stop and listen to your heart. Wait for the still small voice. Try to figure out what makes your heart sing. Plan your life and relationise your plan Make 2007 the best year ever. =20 Yours for a singing heart=20 Warwick Marsh ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 =20 To be successful in the family the father must have the welfare=20 of each family member at heart and his decisions and plans=20 must be based upon=20 what is best for them. =20 Helen Andelin =20 back to top=20 =20 Laughter =20 A man was riding his Harley along a Sydneybeach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."=20 The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind."=20 The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."=20 The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"=20 _________________________________________________________ New Year Safety message from the Fatherhood Foundation =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Wishing You a Great New Year From Barry Williams Lone Fathers Association Australia =20 Hi to all Dads throughout Australia, those who were lucky enough to have precious time with their loved children, and to those dads who were not that lucky either through family court rulings or through just spitefulness from their ex-partner. =20 We in Lone Fathers Association Australia are thinking of you, and understand your feelings, frustration and sorrow. We want to ensure you that we will continue to lobby and fight even harder in this New Year to bring about massive changes to the cruel system that has been allowing a second stolen generation of children from their dads. =20 =20 On a brighter note, there is reason for hope as many changes in family law are on the way. This last year has paved the way for new pathways for these changes. Some are the new Family Relationship Centres and the child support changes that come into effect in 2007 and 2008. Although they are not all we wanted, they are a great start, and god willing we can improve on them. =20 Try to think positive And remember your children will always love you. Barry Williams Lone Fathers Association Australia www.lonefathers.com.au =20 back to top=20 =20 Special Feature The Battle for Balance=20 By Alby Schultz Liberal MHR for Hume=20 Posted Monday, 2 October 2006 =20 In his May 2005 report 'In the Best Interests of Children' Professor Patrick Parkinson recommended long overdue reform of Australia's child support scheme. It is clear that the scheme, dating back to 1988, however well intentioned, has lost its relevance to families. It can no longer meet its objectives. =20 During the past couple of years I have conducted some of Australia's most comprehensive case study research on this issue. I have now published this research as The Battle for Balance. =20 An alarming number of parents, mostly fathers, are not only being denied a significant place in their child's life by the Family Court, but they are then being driven to desperation, and in some cases suicide, by one-sided and discriminatory legislation and the relentless bureaucracy of the Child Support Agency.=20 =20 Professor Parkinson and his taskforce advocated a scheme under which the costs of children are first worked-out based upon the parents' combined income, with those costs then distributed equally between the mother and the father in accordance with their respective shares of that combined income and levels of contact with their children. The resident parent is expected to pay his or her share of the cost while caring for the child. On the other hand, the non-resident parent pays his or her share in the form of child support. Whilst in the past the resident parent has received a much more generous entitlement to self-support expenses, the new scheme would allow both parents an equal amount for themselves. =20 The major changes to the child support formula will start on 1 July 2008, with the Government having made some changes in July this year and further changes in July 2007. =20 Perhaps the most important element of the recommendations is a change to the way in which the "capacity to earn" principle is applied. Capacity to earn is the most contentious element of the current scheme and the one most damaging to parents, and indirectly to their children. At present the Child Support Agency has the power to assess a person's capacity to earn based on their pre-separation employment status. So, if a man is earning $65,000 as a structural engineer at the time of his separation, the Child Support Agency deems that man is still able to earn $65,000 in the months and years that follow. The agency ignores factors including a person's physical or mental state, their personal aspirations to begin a new career and tellingly their desire to work reduced hours in order to spend more time with their children. Capacity to earn is enforced rigorously by the Child Support Agency. Often it leads to the payer amassing debts to their child and to the Commonwealth in late payment penalties. In some cases, the debt remains even long after the child has grown up and left home. In these cases, the debt becomes due to the other parent, rather than the child. It is these sorts of situations which can lead to severe depression, anxiety and in extreme cases suicide. These sorts of emotions not only affect the parent but also their child or children. =20 The Parkinson Report recommends that the Child Support Agency be limited in its ability to increase an assessment based on capacity to earn. The agency must consider, in making its decision, the person's state of health and their own caring responsibilities. Where the agency declines to make a determination in a capacity to earn case due to the complexity of the issues raised, the agency will be required to refer the matter to a court. This change, in addition to the new formula, can only ensure a fairer system for all. =20 However I believe the reforms should go further. =20 If capacity to earn is to remain an enforceable issue, the rule should be applied equally to both parents. If both parents are capable of work, they should both be assessed on that capacity. The issue of how child support money is spent needs also to be addressed. There is a severe lack of accountability on the part of resident parents, which further inflames tensions. Legislative reform will only go so far. The administration by the Agency also needs vigorous reform. Many of the thousands of cases reported to me include complaints about the knowledge and attitude of call centre staff and a perceived abuse of power by decision makers. =20 In a system where more than 90% of payers are men, who in most cases are unsupported and in unfamiliar territory, it is unthinkable that the Child Support Agency staff is 72% female. Worse is the fact that the people on the front line are the lowest paid and the least experienced staff. They are not trained to deal with conflict. The majority of staff are single therefore not easily able to empathise with parents' problems and lives. The Child Support Agency, like many Government agencies, is a customer relations nightmare that needs to be addressed. addition to reforming the law, we need to reform the way in which it is administered. We need to eliminate the bias which so clearly exists. We need to recognise that child support is not about money. It is about people. Most importantly it is about ensuring both parents meet their responsibility of supporting their children in a fair and equitable environment. =20 The ABS advises that this is not the most recent CPI information available. From March quarter 2004 to March quarter 2005, the Education Group for the CPI rose 6.2 per cent with the corresponding ALL groups CPI rising by 2.4 per cent. (5) A parent's liability under the Child Support Scheme ceases when the child turns 18, or on the last day of the full-time secondary year in which the child turns 18. A court exercising jurisdiction under the Family Law Act 1975 can make an order for maintenance of a young person over 18 if satisfied that the order is necessary to enable the young person to complete his or her education or because of his or her physical or mental disability. These orders are made on a discretionary basis, taking into account the parents' relative capacity to provide for the young person, and the young person's capacity to provide for his or her own support. =20 The Ministerial Taskforce on Child Support recently completed a detailed review of the Child Support Scheme and has presented its report, In the Best Interests of Children, to Government. The report includes some recommendations relating to young people over 18. The Government will fully consider the report's recommendations before responding. =20 =A9 The National Forum and contributors 1999-2006. All rights reserved. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 =20 Guard your heart with all diligence for out of your heart flow the issues of life. =20 King Solomon =20 back to top=20 =20 All You Need is Love =20 More ResearchConfirms High Quality Marriages =20 Good for You Mon Dec 18 =20 University of Virginia Researcher Finds High-Quality Marriages Help to Calm Nerves =20 CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va., Dec. 18 (AScribe Newswire) -- A University of Virginia neuroscientist has found that women under stress who hold their husbands' hands show signs of immediate relief, which can clearly be seen on their brain scans. "This is the first study of the neurological reactions to human touch in a threatening situation, and the first study to measure how the brain facilitates the health-enhancing properties of close social relationships," says Dr. James A. Coan, author of the study, which is published in the December 2006 issue of the journal Psychological Science. Visit: http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832 .x =20 =20 Coan, an assistant professor in the UVa. Neuroscience Graduate Program and the Department of Psychology, conducted a study involving several couples who rated themselves as highly satisfied with their marriages. Coan and colleagues designed a functional MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) study in which 16 married women were subjected to the threat of a very mild electric shock while they by turns held their husband's hand, the hand of a stranger (male) or no hand at all. The MRI was able to show how these women's brains responded to this handholding while in a threatening situation. =20 The results showed a large decrease in the brain response to threat as a function of spouse handholding, and a limited decrease in this response as a function of stranger handholding. Moreover, spouse handholding effects varied as a function of marital quality, with women in the very highest quality marriages benefiting from a very powerful decrease in threat-related brain activity, including a strong decrease in the emotional (affective) component of the brain's pain processing circuits. =20 Coan is expanding his functional MRI studies in collaboration with the UVa Department of Radiology, to continue his exploration of the neuroscience of emotion and close social relationships. back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 Family Court Fights Back Over Bias Claims =20 By Liz Porter=20 December 24, 2006 =20 Stung by criticism that it is biased, the Family Court is hitting back by keeping detailed records of its decisions on parenting. =20 For the first time in its 31-year history, the court is collecting statistics, including the percentage of arrangements involving or excluding fathers. =20 "One of the things that frustrates me most is people saying that the court is biased, or that there is a systemic bias against fathers," the Chief Justice of the Family Court, Diana Bryant, told The Sunday Age. =20 She said the court had started documenting the number of shared parental responsibility arrangements and the number of orders where a mother or father was given sole responsibility for children. =20 Reasons for the exclusion of one parent are also being recorded, with the categories including "family violence", "mental illness", "substance abuse", "distance" and "entrenched conflict". =20 "With the parliamentary inquiry recently there was a lot of discussion about what the court was and wasn't doing," Justice Bryant said. =20 "There were a lot of people saying the court was biased. But nobody pulled out a judgement and said 'the result was wrong'. It was all about impressions and rhetoric and the court itself wasn't really able to respond well to that because we don't have the data." =20 Is this unprecedented fact-gathering exercise an effort to combat allegations by the Blackshirts and other men's groups that the court discriminates against men? =20 The Chief Justice said she would not describe the project in such terms. But she said that, in the past, the court had been unable to refute criticism with statistical proof. =20 The parenting order data will be posted on the court website, along with links to the 850 judgements handed down each year. =20 "So (it would say) here is the data, and if you want to read about the cases where there was no contact (with one parent), read them," Justice Bryant said. =20 Data would also be collected on the amount of time children of separated parents spent with each parent. In cases of little or no contact with one parent, reasons would also be noted.=20 =20 Comparisons would also be made between orders made by judges and those made "by consent" of the parents. =20 The first results should be ready by June 30. =20 Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes. =20 Many separated parents also resolved joint sharing of their children amicably and with no court involvement. "These are parenting cases which involve allegations of sexual abuse or substance issues," she said. "Mental illness is also a big issue in many cases, as is entrenched conflict." =20 She said the court was often a scapegoat for people's unwillingness to compromise. =20 "People always want to blame someone for it. We get the hardest cases, and some of them are awful," she said. =20 The Family Court is also planning a February-March blitz on a backlog of 1490 Melbourne cases awaiting a final trial. All nine Melbourne judges will be sitting, with three extra judges being brought from interstate to help clear the list. =20 Delays in the court increased in the 2005-06 financial year, with 90 per cent of defended cases now taking up to 26.9 months before a final judgement, more than two months longer than in 2004-05. =20 But the Chief Justice said that the number of "pending" cases had dropped over the past two years, from 2100 in January last year, to 1550 last October and 1490 now. =20 She said the backlog of older cases was being cleared so judges would be free to start working on the new, "less adversarial trials" - a system that applies to all cases that began after July 1 this year. =20 Under this system, one judge would run each case from the beginning, helping the parties narrow down the issues in dispute and making hearings shorter. =20 Justice Bryant said having different judges at different interim hearings was identified as one of the many factors that bothered clients of the court. =20 Working at the bench The long wait In 2005-2006 : The average time between application and first hearing was 6.5 weeks : 91 per cent of cases completed within 27 months. : 50 per cent of cases took between 3.7 and 22.4 months. On the books Cases pending January 2005: 2100 December 2005: 1725 October 2006: 1550 December 2006: 1490 http://familycourt.gov.au =20 __________________________________________ =20 World's Oldest Mum Gives Bith at 67. A Spanish mother gave birth to twins. Her first babies. Read more: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20994154-1702,00.html =20 =20 ___________________________________________________________ =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Christmas is a time for family. Tragically around the world there are many millions of good dads who have been taken away from their families. This is a human tragedy on an unprecedented scale. It is no surprise that for every woman who suicides eight men die from suicide.=20 =20 If you know any divorced dads, especially if they have been quiet, check up on them. Make sure that on Christmas day and the few days following, that they are not alone, grieving for their stolen children. Christmas is the time when the most people suicide.=20 =20 If you are feeling the pain yourself this Christmas, remember, suicide will prove nothing and leave your kids without a dad. You'll be just another one of the thousands of victims. Another forgotten statistic. Remember, your children will eventually grow and want you, and we want you too. You and thousands like you are the men who are turning this Jihad against men around.=20 =20 And it is a Jihad we are fighting. The FemiNasties (nasty feminists) can't be reasoned with, they work long and dedicatedly for the 'cause', are driven by hate and they have budgets of billions of taxpayer dollars behind them.=20 =20 But the evil that drives this tragedy and destroys so many lives is slowly, but certainly, being exposed. Just as our generation looks at Hitler as the ultimate example of evil, today's children will see this man-hating religion as the worst example of (wo)man's inhumanity to man. But their time is coming to a close. Around the world, more and more men like you are doing our part in the struggle. RADAR recently stopped the progress of a paper that would encourage laws that assume men to be guilty until proven innocent. In Belgium and several US States legislation that encourages shared parenting has been passed. Glenn Sacks in USA has created a huge movement and stopped several dangerous attacks, and KRights (kids rights) radio is syndicated across the US. In Australia Fathers4Equality has grown by 25% in the last year alone and other groups have grown by similar numbers. Radio show DadsOnTheAir.NET has been rebuilt and now has a talented team and is building momentum rapidly. Dads in Distress continues to save lives and their founder Tony Miller is a rock that many FemiNasty waves have crashed against. Men's Rights with Sue and Reg Price and the SPCA (shared parenting council), Lindsay and continue the good fight.=20 =20 The biggest recent news was the despicable High Court decision that said that a woman's "bedroom secrets" are no business of the law, but a man who does the same thing will have the C$A sucking his bank account dry. She can keep secrets but he can't. A child has the right to know both their parents, yet DNA testing is virtually illegal for men, while free for women. A child's right to know and be cared for by their natural parents can only be protected if DNA testing is automatic at birth. In the New Year our politicians will be voting on this, and we will be there fighting for children and fairness. =20 So for now, MERRY CHRISTMAS and THANKYOU. This year we have achieved a lot, considering how few resources we have... but we have the greatest strength of all. =20 The FemiNasties are motivated by hate, we are motivated by love. We are a movement of love. The greatest love of all is a parent's love for their kids. That's why we are here. That's why we will win. Each week our memberships grow, and we get more organised. Each week, more FemiNasties die of old age.=20 =20 Love beats Hate... Youth beats Age, Truth beats Lies.=20 We will win, for the sake of our children... (We can't afford not to)=20 James Adams http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org =20 =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation To activists and supporters of children's rights =20 What an amazing admission! ... in a Family Court's Christmas PR initiative. ...that the FC doesn't know how many parents it has excluded from children's lives!. That they will now respond by looking into what they have been doing for the last 31 years! Just when excluded parents from all over the world are enduing heightened grief for their children.=20 =20 The fact that Christmas is so important to Children and family causes us all to focus on the horror foisted on our children by the Family Court. =20 And they trot out the PR lie they've been using for years ... "Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes. " =20 This, in essence make the outrageous suggestion that Consent orders are consensual, that the court process, that expense and outcomes have nothing to do with the advice offered by lawyers to parents that would otherwise fight for the right to be more involved with their children.=20 =20 And this ! .... " Comparisons would also be made between orders made by judges and those made "by consent" of the parents" What? ...as if the decisions people are forced into should be a rule of thumb. =20 They even claim the number of people who avoid the Family Court altogether as proof of its success!! This is breathtakingly absurd and further admission of their failure to deliver justice to children and their otherwise excluded parents. =20 If there's a positive in this article it's that at last we have convinced the FC that it has to at least pay lip service to the notion of accountability. =20 Regards Simon =20 =20 =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 Dear God =20 Finding what makes my heart sing, Takes more than I can feel. Finding what makes my heart sing, Brings a challenge to my mind. Finding what makes my heart sing, Requires truth way down deep inside. Finding what makes my heart sing, Brings pleasure to my life. =20 And life is too short not to be enjoyed . . . Help me find my joy by=20 listening to your voice. Help me find my joy by=20 making the right choice back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_E0CB_01C72CB8.C0CA3370 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 228 - 1st January, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

Just as today is the first day of the rest of your life, so is the New Year 2007 the first year of the rest of your life. Why not make it the best year?

 

What do I mean by 'the best'? Well, make it what you want it to be. There are three types of people in the world. Those who 'make' things happen, those who 'watch' things happen and those who say 'what happened?'. A good father is one who makes things happen, but they have to be the 'right' things.

 

Therefore the question before us today is, "How do we make the right things happen for our families and ourselves in 2007, and make sure that at the end of the year, we are not scratching our heads and thinking, 'What happened in 2007 ?"

 

We are all captains of a ship, charting a course across the sea of life. As fathers, this captaincy contains even more responsibility, as we are responsible for our families. It is all the more critical that we chart the right course.  How do you chart the right course?

 

Firstly you must reach down deep inside. In the proverbs it says, 'Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of your heart flow the issues of life.'  Steve Biddulph, author of 'Stories of Manhood', which is a collection of short stories which are 'journeys into the hidden hearts of men' says, "We have four essential aspects to our being - work, family, community and spirit. Neglect any one of these and you will fall over in the slightest breeze."

 

Last week we talked about planning your life and the need to establish what are the really important goals in your life and making sure that they are the first in place, not the last. If we don't establish the really important things first, we will get swamped with the trivia and busyness of life and never do the things we really want to do. The important goals we listed are:

1) Spiritual Goals

2) Relationship Goals

3) Integrity & Character Goals

4) Financial Goals     

5) Self & Self-Development Goals

 

How do we decide what is really important? We must first acknowledge that we are spiritual beings and therefore develop spiritual goals for our life. Sting writes in one of his songs, "We are spirits in a material world'. Jesus said, 'Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you besides'. Strongly related to our spiritual goals are our integrity / character goals. The hardest thing to be is completely honest with ourselves. I find myself lying to myself all the time. Hence the famous words of advice by William Shakespeare to Hamlet, "To thing own self be true and as night follows day you can be false to no man."

 

That is why we must reach down deep inside our hearts and pursue what makes our heart sing in a spirit of integrity. Thieves and murderers have goals too. The key thing is to have the right goals. The right goals come from having a right heart. That is why prayer and mediation are so important. We must still ourselves in the busyness of life to hear the voice of our father in heaven, because only then do we know the truth and of course it is only the truth that can set you free.

 

Lovework

 

Stop and listen to your heart. Wait for the still small voice. Try to figure out what makes your heart sing. Plan your life and relationise your plan

Make 2007 the best year ever.

 

Yours for a singing heart

Warwick Marsh

 ___________________________________________________________


Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

To be successful in the family

the father must have the welfare

of each family member at heart

and his decisions and plans

must be based upon

what is best for them.

 

Helen Andelin

 

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Laughter

A man was riding his Harley along a Sydneybeach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the  Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I  will grant you one wish."

 The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to New Zealand so I can  ride over anytime I want."  The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous  challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required  reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would  take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it,  but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take  a little more time and think of something that could possibly help  mankind."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, "Lord, I  wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she  feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent  treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

_________________________________________________________

New Year Safety message from the Fatherhood Foundation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Single Dads

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wishing You a Great New Year

From Barry Williams

Lone Fathers Association Australia

 

Hi to all Dads throughout Australia, those who were lucky enough to have precious time with their loved children, and to those dads who were not that lucky either through family court rulings or through just spitefulness from their ex-partner.

 

We in Lone Fathers Association Australia are thinking of you, and understand your feelings, frustration and sorrow. We want to ensure you that we will continue to lobby and fight even harder in this New Year to bring about massive changes to the cruel system that has been allowing a second stolen generation of children from their dads.

 

On a brighter note, there is reason for hope as many changes in family law are on the way. This last year has paved the way for new pathways for these changes. Some are the new Family Relationship Centres and the child support changes that come into effect in 2007 and 2008. Although they are not all we wanted, they are a great start, and god willing we can improve on them.

 

Try to think positive

And remember your children will always love you.

Barry Williams

Lone Fathers Association Australia

www.lonefathers.com.au  

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Special Feature

The Battle for Balance

By Alby Schultz Liberal MHR for Hume

Posted Monday, 2 October 2006

 

In his May 2005 report 'In the Best Interests of Children' Professor Patrick Parkinson recommended long overdue reform of Australia's child support scheme. It is clear that the scheme, dating back to 1988, however well intentioned, has lost its relevance to families. It can no longer meet its objectives.

 

During the past couple of years I have conducted some of Australia's most comprehensive case study research on this issue. I have now published this research as The Battle for Balance.

 

An alarming number of parents, mostly fathers, are not only being denied a significant place in their child's life by the Family Court, but they are then being driven to desperation, and in some cases suicide, by one-sided and discriminatory legislation and the relentless bureaucracy of the Child Support Agency.

 

Professor Parkinson and his taskforce advocated a scheme under which the costs of children are first worked-out based upon the parents' combined income, with those costs then distributed equally between the mother and the father in accordance with their respective shares of that combined income and levels of contact with their children. The resident parent is expected to pay his or her share of the cost while caring for the child. On the other hand, the non-resident parent pays his or her share in the form of child support. Whilst in the past the resident parent has received a much more generous entitlement to self-support expenses, the new scheme would allow both parents an equal amount for themselves.

 

The major changes to the child support formula will start on 1 July 2008, with the Government having made some changes in July this year and further changes in July 2007.

 

Perhaps the most important element of the recommendations is a change to the way in which the "capacity to earn" principle is applied. Capacity to earn is the most contentious element of the current scheme and the one most damaging to parents, and indirectly to their children. At present the Child Support Agency has the power to assess a person's capacity to earn based on their pre-separation employment status. So, if a man is earning $65,000 as a structural engineer at the time of his separation, the Child Support Agency deems that man is still able to earn $65,000 in the months and years that follow. The agency ignores factors including a person's physical or mental state, their personal aspirations to begin a new career and tellingly their desire to work reduced hours in order to spend more time with their children. Capacity to earn is enforced rigorously by the Child Support Agency. Often it leads to the payer amassing debts to their child and to the Commonwealth in late payment penalties. In some cases, the debt remains even long after the child has grown up and left home. In these cases, the debt becomes due to the other parent, rather than the child. It is these sorts of situations which can lead to severe depression, anxiety and in extreme cases suicide. These sorts of emotions not only affect the parent but also their child or children.

 

The Parkinson Report recommends that the Child Support Agency be limited in its ability to increase an assessment based on capacity to earn. The agency must consider, in making its decision, the person's state of health and their own caring responsibilities. Where the agency declines to make a determination in a capacity to earn case due to the complexity of the issues raised, the agency will be required to refer the matter to a court. This change, in addition to the new formula, can only ensure a fairer system for all.

 

However I believe the reforms should go further.

 

If capacity to earn is to remain an enforceable issue, the rule should be applied equally to both parents. If both parents are capable of work, they should both be assessed on that capacity. The issue of how child support money is spent needs also to be addressed. There is a severe lack of accountability on the part of resident parents, which further inflames tensions. Legislative reform will only go so far. The administration by the Agency also needs vigorous reform. Many of the thousands of cases reported to me include complaints about the knowledge and attitude of call centre staff and a perceived abuse of power by decision makers.

 

In a system where more than 90% of payers are men, who in most cases are unsupported and in unfamiliar territory, it is unthinkable that the Child Support Agency staff is 72% female. Worse is the fact that the people on the front line are the lowest paid and the least experienced staff. They are not trained to deal with conflict. The majority of staff are single therefore not easily able to empathise with parents' problems and lives. The Child Support Agency, like many Government agencies, is a customer relations nightmare that needs to be addressed. addition to reforming the law, we need to reform the way in which it is administered. We need to eliminate the bias which so clearly exists. We need to recognise that child support is not about money. It is about people. Most importantly it is about ensuring both parents meet their responsibility of supporting their children in a fai r and equitable environment.

 

The ABS advises that this is not the most recent CPI information available. From March quarter 2004 to March quarter 2005, the Education Group for the CPI rose 6.2 per cent with the corresponding ALL groups CPI rising by 2.4 per cent. (5) A parent's liability under the Child Support Scheme ceases when the child turns 18, or on the last day of the full-time secondary year in which the child turns 18. A court exercising jurisdiction under the Family Law Act 1975 can make an order for maintenance of a young person over 18 if satisfied that the order is necessary to enable the young person to complete his or her education or because of his or her physical or mental disability. These orders are made on a discretionary basis, taking into account the parents' relative capacity to provide for the young person, and the young person's capacity to provide for his or her own support.

 

The Ministerial Taskforce on Child Support recently completed a detailed review of the Child Support Scheme and has presented its report, In the Best Interests of Children, to Government. The report includes some recommendations relating to young people over 18. The Government will fully consider the report's recommendations before responding.

 

© The National Forum and contributors 1999-2006. All rights reserved.

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Thought of the Week

 

Guard your heart

with all diligence

for out of your heart

flow the issues of life.

 

King Solomon

 

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All You Need is Love

 

More ResearchConfirms High Quality Marriages

Good for You

Mon Dec 18 

University of Virginia Researcher Finds High-Quality Marriages Help to Calm Nerves

 

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va., Dec. 18 (AScribe Newswire) -- A University of Virginia neuroscientist has found that women under stress who hold their husbands' hands show signs of immediate relief, which can clearly be seen on their brain scans. "This is the first study of the neurological reactions to human touch in a threatening situation, and the first study to measure how the brain facilitates the health-enhancing properties of close social

relationships," says Dr. James A. Coan, author of the study, which is published in the December 2006 issue of the journal Psychological Science.

Visit: http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01832.x

 

Coan, an assistant professor in the UVa. Neuroscience Graduate Program and the Department of Psychology, conducted a study involving several couples who rated themselves as highly satisfied with their marriages. Coan and colleagues designed a functional MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) study in which 16 married women were subjected to the threat of a very mild electric shock while they by turns held their husband's hand, the hand of a stranger (male) or no hand at all. The MRI was able to show how these women's brains responded to this handholding while in a threatening situation.

 

The results showed a large decrease in the brain response to threat as a function of spouse handholding, and a limited decrease in this response as a function of stranger handholding. Moreover, spouse handholding effects varied as a function of marital quality, with women in the very highest quality marriages benefiting from a very powerful decrease in threat-related brain activity, including a strong decrease in the emotional (affective) component of the brain's pain processing circuits.

 

Coan is expanding his functional MRI studies in collaboration with the UVa Department of Radiology, to continue his exploration of the neuroscience of emotion and close social relationships.

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News & Info

 

Family Court Fights Back Over Bias Claims

By Liz Porter

December 24, 2006

 

Stung by criticism that it is biased, the Family Court is hitting back by keeping detailed records of its decisions on parenting.

 

For the first time in its 31-year history, the court is collecting statistics, including the percentage of arrangements involving or excluding fathers.

 

"One of the things that frustrates me most is people saying that the court is biased, or that there is a systemic bias against fathers," the Chief Justice of the Family Court, Diana Bryant, told The Sunday Age.

 

She said the court had started documenting the number of shared parental responsibility arrangements and the number of orders where a mother or father was given sole responsibility for children.

 

Reasons for the exclusion of one parent are also being recorded, with the categories including "family violence", "mental illness", "substance abuse", "distance" and "entrenched conflict".

 

"With the parliamentary inquiry recently there was a lot of discussion about what the court was and wasn't doing," Justice Bryant said.

 

"There were a lot of people saying the court was biased. But nobody pulled out a judgement and said 'the result was wrong'. It was all about impressions and rhetoric and the court itself wasn't really able to respond well to that because we don't have the data."

 

Is this unprecedented fact-gathering exercise an effort to combat allegations by the Blackshirts and other men's groups that the court discriminates against men?

 

The Chief Justice said she would not describe the project in such terms. But she said that, in the past, the court had been unable to refute criticism with statistical proof.

 

The parenting order data will be posted on the court website, along with links to the 850 judgements handed down each year.

 

"So (it would say) here is the data, and if you want to read about the cases where there was no contact (with one parent), read them," Justice Bryant said.

 

Data would also be collected on the amount of time children of separated parents spent with each parent. In cases of little or no contact with one parent, reasons would also be noted.

 

Comparisons would also be made between orders made by judges and those made "by consent" of the parents.

 

The first results should be ready by June 30.

 

Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes.

 

Many separated parents also resolved joint sharing of their children amicably and with no court involvement. "These are parenting cases which involve allegations of sexual abuse or substance issues," she said. "Mental illness is also a big issue in many cases, as is entrenched conflict."

 

She said the court was often a scapegoat for people's unwillingness to compromise.

 

"People always want to blame someone for it. We get the hardest cases, and some of them are awful," she said.

 

The Family Court is also planning a February-March blitz on a backlog of 1490 Melbourne cases awaiting a final trial. All nine Melbourne judges will be sitting, with three extra judges being brought from interstate to help clear the list.

 

Delays in the court increased in the 2005-06 financial year, with 90 per cent of defended cases now taking up to 26.9 months before a final judgement, more than two months longer than in 2004-05.

 

But the Chief Justice said that the number of "pending" cases had dropped over the past two years, from 2100 in January last year, to 1550 last October and 1490 now.

 

She said the backlog of older cases was being cleared so judges would be free to start working on the new, "less adversarial trials" - a system that applies to all cases that began after July 1 this year.

 

Under this system, one judge would run each case from the beginning, helping the parties narrow down the issues in dispute and making hearings shorter.

 

Justice Bryant said having different judges at different interim hearings was identified as one of the many factors that bothered clients of the court.

 

Working at the bench

The long wait

In 2005-2006

: The average time between application and first hearing was 6.5 weeks

: 91 per cent of cases completed within 27 months.

: 50 per cent of cases took between 3.7 and 22.4 months.

On the books

Cases pending

January 2005: 2100

December 2005: 1725

October 2006: 1550

December 2006: 1490

http://familycourt.gov.au

 __________________________________________

 

World's Oldest Mum Gives Bith at 67.

A Spanish mother gave birth to twins. Her first babies.

Read more:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20994154-1702,00.html

 

___________________________________________________________

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

         

Christmas is a time for family. Tragically around the world there are many millions of good dads who have been taken away from their families. This is a human tragedy on an unprecedented scale. It is no surprise that for every woman who suicides eight men die from suicide.

 

If you know any divorced dads, especially if they have been quiet, check up on them. Make sure that on Christmas day and the few days following, that they are not alone, grieving for their stolen children. Christmas is the time when the most people suicide.

 

If you are feeling the pain yourself this Christmas, remember, suicide will prove nothing and leave your kids without a dad. You'll be just another one of the thousands of victims. Another forgotten statistic. Remember, your children will eventually grow and want you, and we want you too. You and thousands like you are the men who are turning this Jihad against men around.

 

And it is a Jihad we are fighting. The FemiNasties (nasty feminists) can't be reasoned with, they work long and dedicatedly for the 'cause', are driven by hate and they have budgets of billions of taxpayer dollars behind them.

 

But the evil that drives this tragedy and destroys so many lives is slowly, but certainly, being exposed. Just as our generation looks at Hitler as the ultimate example of evil, today's children will see this man-hating religion as the worst example of (wo)man's inhumanity to man.

 

But their time is coming to a close. Around the world, more and more men like you are doing our part in the struggle. RADAR recently stopped the progress of a paper that would encourage laws that assume men to be guilty until proven innocent. In Belgium and several US States legislation that encourages shared parenting has been passed. Glenn Sacks in USA has created a huge movement and stopped several dangerous attacks, and KRights (kids rights) radio is syndicated across the US. In Australia Fathers4Equality has grown by 25% in the last year alone and other groups have grown by similar numbers. Radio show DadsOnTheAir.NET has been rebuilt and now has a talent ed team and is building momentum rapidly. Dads in Distress continues to save lives and their founder Tony Miller is a rock that many FemiNasty waves have crashed against. Men's Rights with Sue and Reg Price and the SPCA (shared parenting council), Lindsay and continue the good fight.

 

The biggest recent news was the despicable High Court decision that said that a woman's "bedroom secrets" are no business of the law, but a man who does the same thing will have the C$A sucking his bank account dry. She can keep secrets but he can't. A child has the right to know both their parents, yet DNA testing is virtually illegal for men, while free for women. A child's right to know and be cared for by their natural parents can only be protected if DNA testing is automatic at birth. In the New Year our politicians will be voting on this, and we will be there fighting for children and fairness.

 

So for now, MERRY CHRISTMAS and THANKYOU. This year we have achieved a lot, considering how few resources we have... but we have the greatest strength of all.

 

The FemiNasties are motivated by hate, we are motivated by love. We are a movement of love. The greatest love of all is a parent's love for their kids. That's why we are here. That's why we will win. Each week our memberships grow, and we get more organised. Each week, more FemiNasties die of old age.

 

Love beats Hate... Youth beats Age, Truth beats Lies.

We will win, for the sake of our children... (We can't afford not to)

James Adams

http://www.fathers4equality-australia.org

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

To activists and supporters of children's rights

 

What an amazing admission! ... in a Family Court's Christmas PR initiative. ...that the FC doesn't know how many parents it has excluded from children's lives!. That they will now respond by looking into what they have been doing for the last 31 years! Just when excluded parents from all over the world are enduing heightened grief  for their children.

 

The fact that Christmas is so important to Children and family causes us all to focus on the horror foisted on our children by the Family Court.

 

And they trot out the PR lie they've been using for years ...

"Justice Bryant said the court figures could not be taken as the basis for generalisations about the fate of Australian children after their parents' divorce because the cases that went to trial in the Family Court comprised only 7 per cent of the court's case load and represented the most intractable, complex and difficult disputes. "

 

This, in essence make the outrageous suggestion that Consent orders are consensual, that the court process, that expense and outcomes have nothing to do with the advice offered by lawyers to parents that would otherwise fight for the right to be more involved with their children.

 

And this ! .... " Comparisons would also be made between orders made by judges and those made "by consent" of the parents" What? ...as if the decisions people are forced into should be a rule of thumb.

 

They even claim the number of people who avoid the Family Court altogether as proof of its success!! This is breathtakingly absurd and further admission of their failure to deliver justice to children and their otherwise excluded parents.

 

If there's a positive in this article it's that at last we have convinced the FC that it has to at least pay lip service to the notion of accountability.

 

Regards

Simon

 

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

 

 

Dear God

 

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Takes more than I can feel.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Brings a challenge to my mind.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Requires truth way down deep inside.

Finding what makes my heart sing,

Brings pleasure to my life.

 

And life is too short not to be enjoyed . . .

Help me find my joy by
listening to your voice.

Help me find my joy by
making the right choice

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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