X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 1 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@fathersonline.org Delivered-To: info@fathersonline.org Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 6BF6A6B603 for ; Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:18:18 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 07683-10 for ; Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:18:04 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (fathersonline.org: No applicable sender policy available) receiver=marlin.fishinternet.com.au; identity=mfrom; envelope-from="info@fathersonline.org"; helo=polyglot.com.au; client-ip=59.167.240.1 Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth5890.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [59.167.240.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id AD0D06B600 for ; Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:18:01 +1000 (EST) Received: from sydney ([127.0.0.1]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:17:54 +1000 Thread-Topic: Girls Passage Fathers Duty Reply-To: Message-ID: thread-index: Acd+OxvvPRqPmjbNQoSnmLaetPkicA== From: To: Subject: Girls Passage Fathers Duty Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2007 12:17:54 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_B6E9_01C77E8E.ED9DDC30" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2826 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 14 Apr 2007 02:17:54.0050 (UTC) FILETIME=[1BF41620:01C77E3B] X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: SMEX-7.5.0.1166-3.6.1039-15114.000 X-TM-AS-Result: No--14.231300-5.000000-31 X-TM-AS-User-Approved-Sender: No X-TM-AS-User-Blocked-Sender: No X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (2273 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 11114 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_B6E9_01C77E8E.ED9DDC30 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 242 - 9th April, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Friend * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Friend My good friend Brian Molitor, head of the Malachi Global Foundation www.malachiglobal.org asked me to write a recommendation for his new book, 'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty', which is co written with his wife, Kathy. Brian is not the sort of guy you can argue with. He is 6'4", built like a Sherman tank and in his younger days as a professional footballer, he would have been a formidable opponent. I would have definitely come off second best in an argument. Many of you met Brian Molitor last year when he toured Australia on the Turning Hearts Tour. He was very well received because of his self-depreciating humour and love of hunting and fishing. Another reason I wasn't going to argue with him. Jokes aside, Brian and Kathy's new book is brilliant and complements his first book, 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey', the title which Brian used for his seminars in Australia. My review is below. 'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' is a groundbreaking book that will set the record straight about the critical need for a father in a young girl's life. In 2002 when we started the Fatherhood Foundation I thought that fathers were more important for boys. After much study and research over the last five years, I have realized that my ideas were wrong. The input that a father has on his daughter's life is absolutely critical for her psychosexual development and her success as a woman later in life. Every young women, who is coming of age, longs to hear these words from her fathers lips, "Honey, you are beautiful, you are precious and I love you just the way you are!" Nothing can be a substitute for a warm, loving, father/daughter relationship. Brian and Kathy Molitor give the keys that all parents need in order to build such a relationship - a warm, loving relationship that every daughter deserves and needs. Their book is both spiritual and practical as they share their personal journey and real-life insights along with powerful principles that have stood the test of time. 'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' should be required reading for every mum and dad on the planet. When I read Brian's first book about rites of passage and life-long mentoring for boys, all my sons had come of age but my wife and I were challenged to put his words into practice and design a rites of passage / coming of age celebration for our youngest daughter. It is now several months since we held this ceremony and I believe it has been a milestone for our daughter in her journey into womanhood. In Special Feature you will find the full story written by my wife, to give you insight and inspiration. I believe that having such a celebration / ceremony has given my daughter the courage to embrace the responsibility and joys of being a young woman. The rites of passage celebration has made a difference in her life and perhaps it is best articulated by this beautiful hand made Christmas card I received last year with these touching and moving words. Dearest Dad Thanks for everything, you are a great Dad and I love you. Your name means 'elaborate', which is true for you. You are elaborate in many things, the mess on your desk for one, your thinking, your actions. You think outside the box and that's what I like about you. You try in everything you do, and most of the time you succeed. You are the greatest Dad in the world and I know this because, I don't want to have any other. I love you Dad. Have a Merry Christmas. Your daughter Melodie Marsh Every young daughter need to hear those words, 'Honey you are beautiful, you are precious and I love you just the way you are.' Conversantly every father needs to know that he is the greatest Dad in the world, even if he does have a messy desk. Lovework Consider planning a rite of passage / celebration for your children. 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey' 2004 Emerald Books by Brian Molitor is a great book to read on the subject http://orders.koorong.com/search/details.jhtml?code=193209606X Whatever you do, make sure you speak the words your children need to hear from you, 'You are special and I love you!' Yours for rites of passage Warwick Marsh PS Brian Molitor will be coming to Australia in June and speaking in Kalgoorlie WA, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane and Sydney. His new book 'Girl's Passage Father's Duty' should be available in June/July 07. We will notify you of details of the venues where he will be speaking over the next few weeks. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads Dads and Daughters By Neil Ryan I'm a father of three and grandfather to 9 and still learning more about fatherhood; often from mistakes I've made. Recently my daughter (herself now a mother of four) reminded me of aspects of fatherhood where (she reckons) I had failed to measure up to expectations. I cannot now make up for past mistakes but at least, for other dads out there, you can learn from my omissions. Maybe you are about to enter upon the unenviable task of guiding a young teenage daughter toward secure and mature womanhood. At least I expect this is your ambition. I was one who, until my daughter explained otherwise, believed it was mum's role to nurture a daughter through her teenage traumas. I was one who held the view that when girls became teenagers and grew into womanhood, this was the time to back off - NOT SO! As my daughter explained to me, this is the time when 'dad' can play a valuable role in establishing his daughter's feminine security, confidence and self esteem. This is the time to devote special time for her alone; to listen to what she has to say; to appreciate her efforts without too much criticism or off handed sarcasm. Compliment her on the clothes she wears, but remind her how other 'men' view immodest attire. I am convinced that 'dad' must learn to overcome any sense of embarrassment and be able to hug his daughter with fatherly affection. Take her out on 'daddy dates'. Never ever let any momentary uncomfortable feelings dictate otherwise. During teenage years your daughter needs to find (perhaps more than ever before) in a man, the kind of security only a dad can give. Remember you ARE the first man in her life. If you, 'dad', cannot find the time to give her this kind of attention, she may seek it elsewhere and find the experience hard to handle; especially when the other 'fella' receives the wrong signals and from your daughter. Then, 'dad', you may find you have a much more complex emotional problem on your hands that even mum can't handle. The strength and confidence you can build into your daughter with encouragement and affection, both verbally and with healthy hugs, will create in her an emotional 'wall of protection' for her emerging sexuality. However, NEVER substitute affection toward your daughter for the love and cherishing expressed to your wife-her mum. Chat over some of these thoughts with your wife and see if she would have loved her dad to have treated her this way. I might have failed to measure up to these ideals but I now trust that there are dads out there who might learn from my ineptness. Neil Ryan ne_ryan@bigpond.net.au back to top Laughter THIS IS WHY PANADOL was invented..... A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's' whisper. "Hello" "Is your daddy home ?" he asked "Yes" whispered the small voice "May I talk with him?" "No" Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?" "Yes" "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No" Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?" "Yes, whispered the boy, "a policeman" Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy", whispered the child "Busy doing what?" Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman", came the answer. Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through the Earpiece on the phone, the boss asked , "What's that noise?" "A helicopter" answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter." Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?!!." Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle............ "ME." back to top Single Dads Tony Miller announced last week that 'dads in distress' (dids) will be forced to close its doors on 30th June 2007 unless they are able to receive further government funding. Such recurrent funding has been refused so far because dids important work does not fit into any government funding box at the present moment. This is hardly surprising considering the Howard government and previous Labor governments consistent ability to ignore the needs of the male of the species while pouring hundreds of millions of dollars and more likely billions of dollars into projects and benefits that only women can receive benefit from. It is good that the government helps women but why cannot they also help men? The ratio of government funding that is directed at women or mothers compared with men or fathers is somewhere between 300 to 1 or at best 100 to 1. Alan Barron from the Memucan Institute of Men's Studies in Melbourne has produced some very interesting research papers on this important subject www.memucan.net It would be a national tragedy if dads in distress were to cease operation. Tony Miller's group has dozens of self-help cells scattered all over the country. Dids runs a very low overhead operation and achieves far more than most. It is ironic that Mensline are funded over 2 million dollars per year and that they refer hundreds, possibly thousands of calls to dads in distress or Lone Fathers Association and neither operation is properly funded by the Howard government. If broken promises by governments were a tradeable commodity, Barry Williams of Lone Fathers would be a millionaire. Currently the present government has given him an office, but he has no money to pay staff to keep it going. The Fatherhood Foundation knows all about what it is to be ignored by the government as we do not fit into any of their many funding boxes. Three years ago the Fatherhood Foundation personally presented a comprehensive funding proposal to the government 'to encourage, support and promote fatherhood and families'. The proposal was 100 mm thick and very well detailed and documented. We personally met with 3 government ministers and several other parliamentary leaders. We have yet to receive even an official acknowledgement of our proposal let alone consideration of the same. The rhetoric of the current government is for families and fatherhood, but the practical support for the same is utterly pathetic to say the least. The Howard government had a golden opportunity to introduce equity and justice into family law in March 2006 with a presumption of shared parenting in family law. Point 6 of The 12pt Plan states that the government must: Acknowledge that after divorce or parental separation, every child has a fundamental right to equal contact with both the mother and the father, unless there are proven mitigating circumstances. The government has chosen to ignore our children's cries for equal access to both mother and father. Instead they have introduced a presumption of shared parental responsibility which means absolutely nothing in real terms in a court of law. In a recent judgement a father asked for equal shared parenting and received only 3 hours extra per week. Shared parental responsibility can mean whatever a judge wants it to mean. The Howard government could have fixed the problem but they did not and so Tony Millers, dids and the Lone Father's workload continues unabated. The government has a responsibility to fund the fallout of their failed family law reform legislation. The government also has a responsibility to help those organisations on the cutting edge of suicide prevention in our nation. In 2003, the Fatherhood Foundation along with many other fatherhood / family and men's groups could see the inequity in the ratio of government funding for the male of the species and the fact that there is no official government body to represent the needs of fathers and men. In Canberra fathers and men are without a voice and appear to be almost invisible to government bureaucrats. On 26th June 2003 the Fatherhood Foundation released its 12 Pt Plan with bi-partisan support in Federal Parliament, Canberra. The first 3 points of The 12pt Plan address these crucial areas of government neglect. 1. That all levels of government acknowledge the importance of fatherhood by establishing an official body to support and strengthen Australian fathers, such as an Office for the Status of Fatherhood or a Ministry of Fatherhood. 2. Increase funding for father-based family initiatives. The focus of government funding needs to be on prevention rather than cure in order to achieve long-term cost effective benefits. 3. Address the gross inequity in funding for men's issues compared to that currently available for women's issues. Sadly this could have been written yesterday, because little has changed in the last four years. So here we have another disaster as the closure of the single most effective single father's suicide prevention organisation in the nation approaches. We as men must do something about it. We as a gender must support each other. We are all our brother's keeper. If dads in distress was mothers in distress they would be getting $250 million per year. All that is needed is a quarter of a million dollars per year to keep the doors open. This is small change for the government. I encourage all of our fathersonline readers to write to their local Federal Member of Parliament, of whatever party they are, and ask them for commonsense to prevail - or is that asking too much? Yours for our children Warwick Marsh Fatherhood Foundation back to top Special Feature My Daughter's Rites of Passage By Alison Marsh Although I was keen to have a rites of passage for our only daughter, I was unsure how to go about it. I had missed Brian Molitor's lectures on rites of passage and have only read excerpts of his book, Boy's Passage - Man's Journey. There were several key factors that I felt necessary for such a celebration. Firstly: my daughter is a party girl, I am not. I wanted to make this an intimate, low-key affair, therefore I didn't tell her too much about what I was planning, just asked her who she knew that had inputted into her life. Secondly: wanting it to be a special time I thought carefully about who had been important in her life. I also felt that it was important to keep it close to her birthday celebrations so we would not lose impetus. Over the past year my daughter has positively blossomed into womanhood. It was time to celebrate this and wish her well on her continued journey of life. Warwick and I decided to make Melodie's 'Celebration of Womanhood' three days after her 14th birthday, on our usual family dinner night. Fortunately all the women that I invited were able to come. I invited Cassie, an 18 year old friend of hers that has really encouraged her a lot over the past two years; Jodi, my daughter-in-law, Melodie's first big sister; Jo, a close friend that had been on a 9 week tour with us when Melodie was only a toddler; my mother (Melodie's grandmother); and Mary, a friend who I felt would be able to share some valuable wisdom (and who had just happened to hear Brian Molitor speak on rites of passage). Our Celebration of Womanhood was very simple. The menfolk all went off somewhere else for dinner. As our 5 guests arrived they gave Melodie cards and letters which we put aside for later. We enjoyed a beautiful and relaxing meal together. On conclusion of the meal I asked our guests if they would mind reading some or all of what they had written to my daughter. She was quite touched by their comments and gave each one a hug when they had finished. Many of us had gifts to also give her. Mine was a medium sized scrapbook to record the night. To conclude the night, Dad and Grandfather came home and said a prayer of blessing over our beautiful daughter. My evaluation of Melodie's Celebration of Womanhood left me with a few thoughts: there were a few other women that I probably should have invited so I must tell them about the whole experience. It was a thoroughly lovely evening and I'm sure my daughter enjoyed it so I will ask her if she would have done anything differently. I think if she had been keener to do it, it would have been more of a production and she therefore would have been more involved, which is fine. The magnitude of the event will vary from family to family but I believe the magnitude on the life of the individual will be impacting for life. I am thankful that we went ahead and grateful to Warwick that he encouraged it to happen. back to top Thought of the Week When fathers catch the vision (the importance of being a great dad), we can turn entire nations around within one generation. Brian Molitor back to top All You Need is Love Couple Celebrate 80th Wedding Anniversary March 30, 2007 LUBEC, Maine (March 29) - Kathleen Tarbell "fell head over my stomach" for her husband Waldo when they met at a dance. They married in 1927, during Calvin Coolidge's presidency and are celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary this weekend. Waldo is 101 and Kathleen will turn 100 in June. The anniversary party will be Saturday afternoon at Oceanview Nursing Home, where the couple shares a large room. Maine's Office of Vital Records could not immediately determine if the Tarbells' marriage is the longest in the state. The 2007 Guinness Book of World Records lists a Rhode Island couple wed for 83 years as having the longest marriage among living people. Kathleen, a native of Pembroke, moved to Waldo's hometown of Meddybemps after they married. Two years later, they moved to Pembroke, where their two children, Helen Brown and Elliot Tarbell, were born. Waldo and Kathleen lived in their home in Pembroke until a few weeks ago. "I had to go to the hospital to have some X-rays taken. My back was killing me," Kathleen told the Bangor Daily News. After she was hospitalized, Waldo was moved to the nursing home and she later joined him. For 37 years, Waldo worked for Maine Central Railroad, at a starting wage of 37 cents an hour. After their children were raised, Kathleen worked for 32 years as a "herring choker and wrapper" at sardine factories. "Sometimes it'd be 10 o'clock at night before we'd get done. We'd go into work at eight in the morning. By the time we got home and got turned over in bed it was time to get up again," she recalled. Kathleen has been a Democrat her entire adult life. Waldo, originally a Republican , turned Democrat. "She converted me," he said. They remain up to speed on current events. Kathleen reads the newspaper every day, and she thinks the war in Iraq is "scandalous." "Somebody ought to take Bush and wring his neck, and I might be the one to do it," she said with a sparkle in her eye. Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. back to top News & Info Happy Easter Read the Fathers Love Letter this Easter http://fathersloveletter.com/aboutfll.html USA Men's / Fatherhood Speaker Coming to Australia April 2007 Robert Lewis is the creator and presenter of Men's Fraternity, a three year men's training resource, guiding men on the journey to noble authentic manhood. Robert Lewis is fast becoming one of the most recognized voices in America on men's issues and is an amazing communicator and teacher in the advancement and promotion of men discovering their manhood. Robert Lewis is coming to Australia in April 2007 to provide training, inspiration and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone passionate about this vital cause. I have three website links for you to go to for more information: http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17 - for registration, venue and seminar/training information. http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/ - for information on Robert Lewis, Men's Fraternity and all the available resources. http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21 all the various Men's Fraternity and Robert Lewis resources that are available. If you believe in this cause that Robert is coming to speak to Australian and New Zealand about, please spread the word and pass his information around to your interested contacts. I believe there is a strong movement in our countries at this time towards empowering men and raising the bar of manhood in our communities, families and Churches. Please join us in promoting this exciting training opportunity. Please feel free to contact me. I look forward in assisting you in anyway possible. Let me know what you need as we are only 2 weeks away from Robert coming. Thank you! Tim Smith Ph: 03 5241 3288 Fax: 03 5241 3290 Mob: 0438 551 616 Email: tim@crsonline.com.au Web: www.crsonline.com.au __________________________________________________________ Family Credit Card pays mortgage http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21518152-2,00.html __________________________________________________________ Burnside Training Course Workshop 1 - 'Working with Men' The 'Working with Men' Workshop allows workers, organisations or networks of services to more effective programs to men and families. Workshop 2 - 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues' The 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues' Workshop explores the difficulties, paradoxes and rewards of working to stop family violence with both men and women. Workshop 1 'Working with Men' Thursday 24th May 2007 from 9.30am to 4.30pm (Lunch provided) Northcott Building 1 Fennell St North Parramatta Workshop 2 'Working with Men and Family Violence' Friday 25th May 2007 from 9.30am to 4.30pm (Lunch provided) Northcott Building 1 Fennell St North Parramatta All costs include GST. Participants are encouraged to attend both days. Workshop 1 = $145.00 Workshop 2 = $145.00 Workshop 1 & 2 = $250.00 To register: To obtain an application form for this training, call Training Program at Burnside on 02 9843 6200 or email training@burnside.org.au or visit the web site on www.burnside.org.au and follow the prompts to Resources and Training. Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation How come there's a huge effort to help our graziers and stop them topping themselves because of the drought, but bugger all for the ordinary bloke in town who suicides because his family and business etc collapsed . Maybe the bloke with the fruit shop that went broke and his missus left ...... Or the bloke at the garage , or the plumber....... Just maybe they're not a national tear jerker..? Don't tell me we still think that in some way they're a failure so we can't help...? Is that why the Government just spent heaps on trialling grief and bereavement programs for POST suicide trauma??? My heart tears apart for the man on the land and his family, but I've got a panel beater and a computer wiz and an accountant ,who were isolated by pain and grief and the sense of failure...who nearly died and left their kids fatherless. Somewhat to ponder? Nigel back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God John Mayer sings his song, 'Fathers be good to your daughters'. Did you help him write it? It seems a good idea anyway. Let's face it, If we can't be good to them, who can? If we aren't good to our daughters, How will they recognise what goodness is? Please help me be good to my daughter. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_B6E9_01C77E8E.ED9DDC30 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
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Issue 242 - 9th April, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Friend

 

My good friend Brian Molitor, head of the Malachi Global Foundation www.malachiglobal.org  asked me to write a recommendation for his new book, 'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty', which is co written with his wife, Kathy. Brian is not the sort of guy you can argue with. He is 6'4", built like a Sherman tank and in his younger days as a professional footballer, he would have been a formidable opponent. I would have definitely come off second best in an argument.

Many of you met Brian Molitor last year when he toured Australia on the Turning Hearts Tour. He was very well received because of his self-depreciating humour and love of hunting and fishing. Another reason I wasn't going to argue with him.

 

Jokes aside, Brian and Kathy's new book is brilliant and complements his first book, 'Boy's Passage Man's Journey', the title which Brian used for his seminars in Australia. My review is below.

 

'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' is a groundbreaking book that will set the record straight about the critical need for a father in a young girl's life. In 2002 when we started the Fatherhood Foundation I thought that fathers were more important for boys. After much study and research over the last five years, I have realized that my ideas were wrong. The input that a father has on his daughter's life is absolutely critical for her psychosexual development and her success as a woman later in life.

 

Every young women, who is coming of age, longs to hear these words from her fathers lips, "Honey, you are beautiful, you are precious and I love you just the way you are!" Nothing can be a substitute for a warm, loving, father/daughter relationship.

 

Brian and Kathy Molitor give the keys that all parents need in order to build such a relationship - a warm, loving relationship that every daughter deserves and needs.  Their book is both spiritual and practical as they share their personal journey and real-life insights along with powerful principles that have stood the test of time.

 

'Girl's Passage - Father's Duty' should be required reading for every mum and dad on the planet.

 

When I read Brian's first book about rites of passage and life-long mentoring for boys, all my sons had come of age but my wife and I were challenged to put his words into practice and design a rites of passage / coming of age celebration for our youngest daughter. It is now several months since we held this ceremony and I believe it has been a milestone for our daughter in her journey into womanhood. In Special Feature you will find the full story written by my wife, to give you insight and inspiration. I believe that having such a celebration / ceremony has given my daughter the courage to embrace the responsibility and joys of being a young woman. The rites of passage celebration has made a difference in her life and perhaps it is best articulated by this beautiful hand made Christmas card I received last year with these touching and moving words.

 

Dearest Dad

 

Thanks for everything, you are a great Dad and I love you. Your name means 'elaborate', which is true for you. You are elaborate in many things, the mess on your desk for one, your thinking, your actions. You think outside the box and that's what I like about you. You try in everything you do, and most of the time you succeed. You are the greatest Dad in the world and I know this because, I don't want to have any other. I love you Dad. Have a Merry Christmas.

 

Your daughter

Melodie Marsh

 

Every young daughter need to hear those words, 'Honey you are beautiful, you are precious and I love you just the way you are.' Conversantly every father needs to know that he is the greatest Dad in the world, even if he does have a messy desk.

 

Lovework

 

Consider planning a rite of passage / celebration for your children.  'Boy's Passage Man's Journey' 2004 Emerald Books by Brian Molitor is a great book to read on the subject http://orders.koorong.com/search/details.jhtml?code=193209606X 
Whatever you do, make sure you speak the words your children need to hear from you, 'You are special and I love you!'

 

Yours for rites of passage

Warwick Marsh

 

PS Brian Molitor will be coming to Australia in June and speaking in Kalgoorlie WA, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane and Sydney. His new book 'Girl's Passage Father's Duty' should be available in June/July 07. We will notify you of details of the venues where he will be speaking over the next few weeks.

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

Dads and Daughters

By Neil Ryan

 

I'm a father of three and grandfather to 9 and still learning more about fatherhood; often from mistakes I've made.

 

Recently my daughter (herself now a mother of four) reminded me of aspects of fatherhood where (she reckons) I had failed to measure up to expectations. I cannot now make up for past mistakes but at least, for other dads out there, you can learn from my omissions.

 

Maybe you are about to enter upon the unenviable task of guiding a young teenage daughter toward secure and mature womanhood.

 

At least I expect this is your ambition.

 

I was one who, until my daughter explained otherwise, believed it was mum's role to nurture a daughter through her teenage traumas. I was one who held the view that when girls became teenagers and grew into womanhood, this was the time to back off - NOT SO!

 

As my daughter explained to me, this is the time when 'dad' can play a valuable role in establishing his daughter's feminine security, confidence and self esteem. This is the time to devote special time for her alone; to listen to what she has to say; to appreciate her efforts without too much criticism or off handed sarcasm. Compliment her on the clothes she wears, but remind her how other 'men' view immodest attire.

 

I am convinced that 'dad' must learn to overcome any sense of embarrassment and be able to hug his daughter with fatherly affection.

 

Take her out on 'daddy dates'. Never ever let any momentary uncomfortable feelings dictate otherwise.

 

During teenage years your daughter needs to find (perhaps more than ever before) in a man, the kind of security only a dad can give. Remember you ARE the first man in her life.

 

If you, 'dad', cannot find the time to give her this kind of attention, she may seek it elsewhere and find the experience hard to handle; especially when the other 'fella' receives the wrong signals and from your daughter. Then, 'dad', you may find you have a much more complex emotional problem on your hands that even mum can't handle.

 

The strength and confidence you can build into your daughter with encouragement and affection, both verbally and with healthy hugs, will create in her an emotional 'wall of protection' for her emerging sexuality.

 

However, NEVER substitute affection toward your daughter for the love and cherishing expressed to your wife-her mum. Chat over some of these thoughts with your wife and see if she would have loved her dad to have treated her this way.

 

I might have failed to measure up to these ideals but I now trust that there are dads out there who might learn from my ineptness.

 

Neil Ryan

ne_ryan@bigpond.net.au   

 

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Laughter

 

THIS IS WHY PANADOL was invented.....

 

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. 

Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's' whisper.
"Hello"
"Is your daddy home ?" he asked
"Yes" whispered the small voice
"May I talk with him?"
"No"

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes"
"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No"

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes, whispered the boy, "a policeman"
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child
"Busy doing what?"
Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman", came the answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter, through the Earpiece on the phone, the boss asked , "What's that noise?"
"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."  
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?!!."

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle............
"ME."

 

 

 

 

 

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Single Dads

Tony Miller announced last week that 'dads in distress' (dids) will be forced to close its doors on 30th June 2007 unless they are able to receive further government funding. Such recurrent funding has been refused so far because dids important work does not fit into any government funding box at the present moment. This is hardly surprising considering the Howard government and previous Labor governments consistent ability to ignore the needs of the male of the species while pouring hundreds of millions of dollars and more likely billions of dollars into projects and benefits that only women can receive benefit from. It is good that the government helps women but why cannot they also help men? The ratio of government funding that is directed at women or mothers compared with men or fathers is somewhere between 300 to 1 or at best 100 to 1. Alan Barron from the Memucan Institute of Men's Studies in Melbourne has produced some very interesting research papers on this important subject www.memucan.net 

 

It would be a national tragedy if dads in distress were to cease operation. Tony Miller's group has dozens of self-help cells scattered all over the country. Dids runs a very low overhead operation and achieves far more than most. It is ironic that Mensline are funded over 2 million dollars per year and that they refer hundreds, possibly thousands of calls to dads in distress or Lone Fathers Association and neither operation is properly funded by the Howard government.

 

If broken promises by governments were a tradeable commodity, Barry Williams of Lone Fathers would be a millionaire. Currently the present government has given him an office, but he has no money to pay staff to keep it going. The Fatherhood Foundation knows all about what it is to be ignored by the government as we do not fit into any of their many funding boxes. Three years ago the Fatherhood Foundation personally presented a comprehensive funding proposal to the government 'to encourage, support and promote fatherhood and families'. The proposal was 100 mm thick and very well detailed and documented. We personally met with 3 government ministers and several other parliamentary leaders. We have yet to receive even an official acknowledgement of our proposal let alone consideration of the same. The rhetoric of the current government is for families and fatherhood, but the practi cal support for the same is utterly pathetic to say the least.

 

The Howard government had a golden opportunity to introduce equity and justice into family law in March 2006 with a presumption of shared parenting in family law. Point 6 of The 12pt Plan states that the government must:

 

Acknowledge that after divorce or parental separation, every child has a fundamental right to equal contact with both the mother and the father, unless there are proven mitigating circumstances.

 

The government has chosen to ignore our children's cries for equal access to both mother and father. Instead they have introduced a presumption of shared parental responsibility which means absolutely nothing in real terms in a court of law. In a recent judgement a father asked for equal shared parenting and received only 3 hours extra per week. Shared parental responsibility can mean whatever a judge wants it to mean. The Howard government could have fixed the problem but they did not and so Tony Millers, dids and the Lone Father's workload continues unabated. The government has a responsibility to fund the fallout of their failed family law reform legislation. The government also has a responsibility to help those organisations on the cutting edge of suicide prevention in our nation.

 

In 2003, the Fatherhood Foundation along with many other fatherhood / family and men's groups could see the inequity in the ratio of government funding for the male of the species and the fact that there is no official government body to represent the needs of fathers and men. In Canberra fathers and men are without a voice and appear to be almost invisible to government bureaucrats. On 26th June 2003 the Fatherhood Foundation released its 12 Pt Plan with bi-partisan support in Federal Parliament, Canberra. The first 3 points of The 12pt Plan address these crucial areas of government neglect.

 

1. That all levels of government acknowledge the importance of fatherhood by establishing an official body to support and strengthen Australian fathers, such as an Office for the Status of Fatherhood or a Ministry of Fatherhood.

 

2. Increase funding for father-based family initiatives. The focus of government funding needs to be on prevention rather than cure in order to achieve long-term cost effective benefits.

 

3. Address the gross inequity in funding for men's issues compared to that currently available for women's issues.

 

Sadly this could have been written yesterday, because little has changed in the last four years.

 

So here we have another disaster as the closure of the single most effective single father's suicide prevention organisation in the nation approaches. We as men must do something about it. We as a gender must support each other. We are all our brother's keeper. If dads in distress was mothers in distress they would be getting $250 million per year. All that is needed is a quarter of a million dollars per year to keep the doors open. This is small change for the government. I encourage all of our fathersonline readers to write to their local Federal Member of Parliament, of whatever party they are, and ask them for commonsense to prevail - or is that asking too much?

 

Yours for our children

Warwick Marsh

Fatherhood Foundation

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Special Feature

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Daughter's Rites of Passage

By Alison Marsh

 

Although I was keen to have a rites of passage for our only daughter, I was unsure how to go about it.  I had missed Brian Molitor's lectures on rites of passage and have only read excerpts of his book, Boy's Passage - Man's Journey. There were several key factors that I felt necessary for such a celebration.

 

Firstly: my daughter is a party girl, I am not. I wanted to make this an intimate, low-key affair, therefore I didn't tell her too much about what I was planning, just asked her who she knew that had inputted into her life.

Secondly: wanting it to be a special time I thought carefully about who had been important in her life. I also felt that it was important to keep it close to her birthday celebrations so we would not lose impetus. Over the past year my daughter has positively blossomed into womanhood. It was time to celebrate this and wish her well on her continued journey of life.

 

Warwick and I decided to make Melodie's 'Celebration of Womanhood' three days after her 14th birthday, on our usual family dinner night.  Fortunately all the women that I invited were able to come.  I invited Cassie, an 18 year old friend of hers that has really encouraged her a lot over the past two years; Jodi, my daughter-in-law, Melodie's first big sister; Jo, a close friend that had been on a 9 week tour with us when Melodie was only a toddler; my mother (Melodie's grandmother); and Mary, a friend who I felt would be able to share some valuable wisdom (and who had just happened to hear Brian Molitor speak on rites of passage).

 

Our Celebration of Womanhood was very simple. The menfolk all went off somewhere else for dinner. As our 5 guests arrived they gave Melodie cards and letters which we put aside for later. We enjoyed a beautiful and relaxing meal together.  On conclusion of the meal I asked our guests if they would mind reading some or all of what they had written to my daughter. She was quite touched by their comments and gave each one a hug when they had finished.   Many of us had gifts to also give her.  Mine was a medium sized scrapbook to record the night. To conclude the night, Dad and Grandfather came home and said a prayer of blessing over our beautiful daughter.

 

My evaluation of Melodie's Celebration of Womanhood left me with a few thoughts: there were a few other women that I probably should have invited so I must tell them about the whole experience. It was a thoroughly lovely evening and I'm sure my daughter enjoyed it so I will ask her if she would have done anything differently.  I think if she had been keener to do it, it would have been more of a production and she therefore would have been more involved, which is fine. The magnitude of the event will vary from family to family but I believe the magnitude on the life of the individual will be impacting for life. I am thankful that we went ahead and grateful to Warwick that he encouraged it to ha ppen.

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Thought of the Week

 

When fathers catch the vision

(the importance of being a great dad),

we can turn entire nations around within one generation.

 

Brian Molitor

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All You Need is Love

 

Couple Celebrate 80th Wedding Anniversary

March 30, 2007

 

LUBEC, Maine (March 29) - Kathleen Tarbell "fell head over my stomach" for her husband Waldo when they met at a dance. They married in 1927, during Calvin Coolidge's presidency and are celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary this weekend.

 

Waldo is 101 and Kathleen will turn 100 in June. The anniversary party will be Saturday afternoon at Oceanview Nursing Home, where the couple shares a large room.

 

Maine's Office of Vital Records could not immediately determine if the

Tarbells' marriage is the longest in the state. The 2007 Guinness Book of World Records lists a Rhode Island couple wed for 83 years as having the longest marriage among living people.

 

Kathleen, a native of Pembroke, moved to Waldo's hometown of Meddybemps after they married. Two years later, they moved to Pembroke, where their two children, Helen Brown and Elliot Tarbell, were born.

 

Waldo and Kathleen lived in their home in Pembroke until a few weeks ago.

 

"I had to go to the hospital to have some X-rays taken. My back was killing me," Kathleen told the Bangor Daily News. After she was hospitalized, Waldo was moved to the nursing home and she later joined him.

 

For 37 years, Waldo worked for Maine Central Railroad, at a starting wage of 37 cents an hour. After their children were raised, Kathleen worked for 32 years as a "herring choker and wrapper" at sardine factories.

 

"Sometimes it'd be 10 o'clock at night before we'd get done. We'd go into work at eight in the morning. By the time we got home and got turned over in bed it was time to get up again," she recalled.

 

Kathleen has been a Democrat  her entire adult life. Waldo, originally a Republican , turned Democrat. "She converted me," he said.

 

They remain up to speed on current events. Kathleen reads the newspaper every day, and she thinks the war in Iraq  is "scandalous."

 

"Somebody ought to take Bush and wring his neck, and I might be the one to do it," she said with a sparkle in her eye.

 

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press.

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News & Info

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Easter

Read the  Fathers Love Letter this Easter

 

http://fathersloveletter.com/aboutfll.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

USA Men's / Fatherhood  Speaker Coming to Australia   April 2007

 

Robert Lewis is the creator and presenter of Men's Fraternity, a three year men's training resource, guiding men on the journey to noble authentic manhood. Robert Lewis is fast becoming one of the most recognized voices in America on men's issues and is an amazing communicator and teacher in the advancement and promotion of men discovering their manhood.

 

Robert Lewis is coming to Australia in April 2007 to provide training, inspiration and resources for pastors, leaders and anyone passionate about this vital cause.

 

I have three website links for you to go to for more information:

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_s_GroupInformation.asp?sgID=17  

- for registration, venue and seminar/training information.

http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity/    

- for information on Robert Lewis, Men's Fraternity and all the available resources.

http://www.crsonline.com.au/crs_r_cat_Search.asp?catID=21  

all the various Men's Fraternity and Robert Lewis resources that are available.

 

If you believe in this cause that Robert is coming to speak to Australian and New Zealand about, please spread the word and pass his information around to your interested contacts. I believe there is a strong movement in our countries at this time towards empowering men and raising the bar of manhood in our communities, families and Churches. Please join us in promoting this exciting training opportunity.

 

Please feel free to contact me. I look forward in assisting you in anyway possible.

Let me know what you need as we are only 2 weeks away from Robert coming. Thank you!

 

Tim  Smith

Ph: 03 5241 3288

Fax: 03 5241 3290 

Mob: 0438 551 616

Email: tim@crsonline.com.au  

Web: www.crsonline.com.au

 

__________________________________________________________

 

Family Credit Card pays mortgage

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21518152-2,00.html

__________________________________________________________


Burnside Training Course

Workshop 1 - 'Working with Men'

The 'Working with Men' Workshop allows workers, organisations or networks of services to more effective programs to men and families.

 

Workshop 2 - 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues'

The 'Working with Men and Family Violence Issues' Workshop explores the difficulties, paradoxes and rewards of working to stop family violence with both men and women.

 

Workshop 1

'Working with Men'    Thursday 24th May 2007 from 9.30am to 4.30pm   (Lunch provided)      Northcott Building

1 Fennell St

North Parramatta

Workshop 2

'Working with Men and  Family Violence'     Friday 25th May 2007 from 9.30am to 4.30pm (Lunch provided)          Northcott Building

1 Fennell St

North Parramatta

 

All costs include GST.                      

Participants are encouraged to attend both days.

Workshop 1 = $145.00            Workshop 2 = $145.00              Workshop 1 & 2 = $250.00

 

To register:   

To obtain an application form for this training, call Training Program at Burnside on 02 9843 6200 or email training@burnside.org.au  or visit the web site on www.burnside.org.au  and follow the prompts to Resources and Training.

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

How come there's a huge effort to help our graziers and stop them topping themselves because of the drought, but bugger all for the ordinary bloke in town who suicides because his family and business etc collapsed .

 

Maybe the bloke with the fruit shop that went broke and his missus left ......

 

Or the bloke at  the garage , or the plumber.......

Just maybe they're not a national tear jerker..?

Don't tell me we still think that in some way they're a failure so we can't help...?

Is that why the Government just spent heaps on trialling grief and bereavement programs for POST suicide trauma???

 

My heart tears apart for the man on the land and his family, but I've got a panel beater and a computer wiz and an accountant ,who were isolated by pain and grief and the sense of failure...who nearly died and left their kids fatherless. Somewhat to ponder?

 

Nigel

 

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Dad's Prayer

 

 

Dear God

 

John Mayer sings his song,

'Fathers be good to your daughters'.

Did you help him write it?

It seems a good idea anyway.

Let's face it,

If we can't be good to them, who can?

If we aren't good to our daughters,

How will they recognise what goodness is?

Please help me be good to my daughter.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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